General How to celebrate The 4th of July like a true American!

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ThatOneDude

Commander in @Chief, Dick Army
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Jan 14, 2015
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Pull up a chair, because it "Story Time with ThatOneDude @ThatOneDude "

So a little background.
I live in a nice little neighborhood, outside of city limits because the less layers of government I have to deal with, the better.

Well, we are adjacent to a town, this town has a fireworks ordinance that says if you are within 5000 feet of city limits you also can not light off fireworks, and they will fine you up to $2500. We have no way of voting for the town ordinances they do or do not enact, we can not vote for anything in their town, because we are not part of their town. I believe we celebrate a holiday because of taxation without representation.

This week our HOA sent out an email imploring residents of our great, free, neighborhood to call the adjacent towns police department on their neighbors who light off fireworks, which are legal in our county. A lot of residence took exception to this.

Well, I said fuck that, purchased a few thousand dollars worth of fireworks, and I've been redistributing them to the indigenous population in our great neighborhood while mowing my lawn this morning. People walking their dogs "Hey, you see the HOA email about fireworks? You want some fireworks? Here ya go!" "Hey Bob, you see that bullshit from the HOA? Here's some mortars, have a blast!".

I have become the CIA in my neighborhood.

Happy 4th of July!
Fuck the crown!

IMG_20200704_124855.jpg
 
Last edited:

Splinty

Shake 'em off
Admin
Dec 31, 2014
44,116
91,095
Pull up a chair, because it "Story Time with ThatOneDude @ThatOneDude "

So a little background.
I live in a nice little neighborhood, outside of city limits because the less layers of government I have to deal with, the better.

Well, we are adjacent to a town, this town has a fireworks ordinance that says if you are within 5000 feet of city limits you also can not light off fireworks, and they will fine you up to $2500. We have no way of voting for the town ordinances they do or do not enact, we can not vote for anything in their town, because we are not part of their town. I believe we celebrate a holiday because of taxation without representation.

This week our HOA sent out an email imploring residents of our great, free, neighborhood to call the adjacent towns police department on their neighbors who light off fireworks, which are legal in our county. A lot of residence took exception to this.

Well, I said fuck that, purchased a few thousand dollars worth of fireworks, and I've been redistributing them to the indigenous population in our great neighborhood while mowing my lawn this morning. People walking their dogs "Hey, you see the HOA email about fireworks? You want some fireworks? Here ya go!" "Hey Bob, you see that bullshit from the HOA? Here's some mortars, have a blast!".

I have become the CIA in my neighborhood.

Happy 4th of July!
Fuck the crown!

That's incredible. I don't see how the other town could possibly enforce anything on you and I really hope they try.
 

ThatOneDude

Commander in @Chief, Dick Army
First 100
Jan 14, 2015
35,390
34,272
That's incredible. I don't see how the other town could possibly enforce anything on you and I really hope they try.
So do I, wife knows where the bail money in and has the family lawyers number.
 

La Paix

Fuck this place
First 100
Jan 14, 2015
38,273
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We could be! It'd be great. Imagine you, Splinty @Splinty, his son @Lars Soros, and I fishing, shooting guns, and lighting off fireworks in Texas!? It's be so American, you'd probably be able to get a US passport that same weekend.
I think our friendship would grow best if I stayed Canadian. I'd be happy to embrace your culture while visiting but I'm not from Ontario looking to jump ship. You could teach me about firearms and pyrotechnics and I could pack is Coffee Crisps and ketchup chips for our fishing days. Our wives would love it.
 
M

member 1013

Guest
I think our friendship would grow best if I stayed Canadian. I'd be happy to embrace your culture while visiting but I'm not from Ontario looking to jump ship. You could teach me about firearms and pyrotechnics and I could pack is Coffee Crisps and ketchup chips for our fishing days. Our wives would love it.
Oh yea there’s a huge movement in Ontario to leave Canada and possibly join the states. It’s called Wexit.

Wait...
 

ThatOneDude

Commander in @Chief, Dick Army
First 100
Jan 14, 2015
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Second attempt to derail my friends thread. Please stop.
I appreciate you're support friend!

Just lit off the first firework, wife said a bunch of out of town cops were rolling around the hood.
 

ThatOneDude

Commander in @Chief, Dick Army
First 100
Jan 14, 2015
35,390
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Smokers getting fired up, should probably light off more fireworks.

Remember, real men don't use gas for BBQ, that's gross and feminine.
MVIMG_20200704_120436.jpg
 

Freeloading Rusty

Here comes Rover, sniffin’ at your ass
Jan 11, 2016
26,916
26,743
Pull up a chair, because it "Story Time with ThatOneDude @ThatOneDude "

This week our HOA sent out an email imploring residents of our great, free, neighborhood to call the adjacent towns police department on their neighbors who light off fireworks
HOA is that like a strata? Do they set and enforce rules for your neighbourhood?

Didn’t you say you bought there for less govt/outside regulations on your property?
 

ThatOneDude

Commander in @Chief, Dick Army
First 100
Jan 14, 2015
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HOA is that like a strata? Do they set and enforce rules for your neighborhood?
They try. I'm more than willing to pay the HOA fine, as a matter of fact part of my yearly fireworks budget is set aside to pay the HOA fines. My issue is with them inviting an outside police department to fine us for their rules, not ours.
 

ThatOneDude

Commander in @Chief, Dick Army
First 100
Jan 14, 2015
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HOA is that like a strata? Do they set and enforce rules for your neighbourhood?

Didn’t you say you bought there for less govt/outside regulations on your property?
An HOA has very limited power, and honestly they get ignored 99% of the time.
 
M

member 1013

Guest
If the cops come tell theM they are trespassing then put them under citizens arrest
 

ThatOneDude

Commander in @Chief, Dick Army
First 100
Jan 14, 2015
35,390
34,272
If the cops come tell theM they are trespassing then put them under citizens arrest
I plan to automatically escalate the situation by being as American as possible. I will be open carrying a full Fram 1911 all day today in honor of our lord and savior John Moses Browning.
 

Freeloading Rusty

Here comes Rover, sniffin’ at your ass
Jan 11, 2016
26,916
26,743
An HOA has very limited power, and honestly they get ignored 99% of the time.
Fuck the idea of any non-government organization trying to tell me what I can do with my property. I would never buy a strata or a location that has a homeowners association. Is it made up of a bunch of old dudes who have nothing better than to do then enforce the neighbourhood bylaws?