62-year-old Audrey Ranch from Madison, West Virginia was arrested on charges of animal cruelty, after she bit her son’s pit bull’s testicles off. A witness said “Eventually she bit Pedro’s acorns clean off right there in the front yard,” before Ranch knocked the witness out with an “old tricycle.”
Ranch found out the police had been called, so she decided to dig a hole, and bury herself, after cutting off some garden hose to use as a breathing mechanism.
When asked why she bit off the dog’s testes, she explained, “My son ate all the meat and I had warned him if he ate all the meat, I’d eat his dog.”
The dog went through surgery, and is expected to make a full recovery.
Mother fucking kids, man, eating all the meat. After giving an ultimatum like that, what’s she supposed to do, not eat the dog? Good parenting would say that you need to follow through with the ultimatum, so it’s straight to the testes. But what I love most about this chick is how she tried to bury herself alive with a garden hose as her only life source. Genius. Very impressed at how quickly she thought of that plan.
