General Your child is Dating a loser

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Do you let your child know?

  • Yes

    Votes: 15 100.0%
  • No

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    15

SongExotic2

ATM 3 CHAMPION OF THE WORLD. #FREECAIN
First 100
Jan 16, 2015
39,772
53,672
So tragic because I want to punch his face every time a pic with him comes up on my feed. It's so awkward to see family pictures and everyone is kind of fake smiling and leaning away from him and you could tell even if you didn't know what was up just looking at the photo that nobody except her wants to be in photo with him.
You need to stop being jealous of your cousins boyfriend
 

Lamont Cranston

Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?
First 100
Jan 15, 2015
4,123
4,405
If my kid came home and told me they were dating a guy/girl and I thought they were a loser I would tell them.

I also don't have kids so I would ask them who the heck they were and why are they in my house?
 

maurice

Posting Machine
Oct 21, 2015
1,361
2,295
I tell my kids "you can fall in love with anybody. might as well fall in love with somebody rich."
My mom used to say that and I ended up marrying a doctor's daughter.

Didn't work out as you'd anticipate. The cheap POS kept all the money for himself. Didn't even pay for her college and, when we got married, he gave us $50.

Fortunately, the fucker died. Unfortunately, my never-had-a-job mother-in-law is also a miserly POS.
 

Filthy

Iowa Wrestling Champion
Jun 28, 2016
27,507
29,834
My mom used to say that and I ended up marrying a doctor's daughter.

Didn't work out as you'd anticipate. The cheap POS kept all the money for himself. Didn't even pay for her college and, when we got married, he gave us $50.

Fortunately, the fucker died. Unfortunately, my never-had-a-job mother-in-law is also a miserly POS.
i actually heard that from a boss of mine, but I amend it to "fall in love with someone good with money."

my great-uncle had a notoriously cheap wife, and he always used to say "I'm blessed with a frugal wife."
I used to think he was just watering-down the cheapness of his wife to be nice, but now that I'm married to a woman that doesn't piss away money, I see that a frugal wife is truly a blessing.
 

BeardOfKnowledge

The Most Consistent Motherfucker You Know
Jul 22, 2015
60,547
56,268
Would you do or say anything if your child's long term boyfriend or girlfriend was a huge loser?
Yes, if they ask.

1.has no stable job or constantly loses employment.
I've come across a few people like this, and somehow they manage to get by okay.

2.poor antisocial personality where you can tell they have few personal relationships with anyone but your child
Might be on the spectrum, or just a regular dude who has a sneaking suspicion people are talking shit about him on the internet.

3.doesn't pull the financial weight (chronically losing job or has low quality employment) so your child pays for everything
It's okay for women to be the breadwinner if they find it works okay for them.

4.lives at home 25+ (doesn't own anything)
That's not uncommon. To be honest, it's kind of weird to me that society expects people to throw themselves to the financial wolves when they aren't prepared.

5.f-ing bum in everyway and you just don't like them and want to punch them in the face anytime you see them
That probably informs most of your opinion on this person. As the old saying goes "One man's trash is another man's treasure." She's either an adult capable of making her own decisions, and is making what she feels is the correct one for her. Or she's incapable of making good decisions for herself. If it's the second one, her parents have probably done a pretty piss poor job of equipping her for life and might want to consider keeping their opinions to themselves.
 

Banchan

The Most Dangerous Dame
Oct 2, 2017
4,515
2,905
Don't want to get specific but about talking shit - he talks shit about her. Cheated several times as well. About living home and not having anything, he's 35 and still lives with his mom and dad between crashing at hers and he doesn't pitch in or have any savings, also doesn't pitch in at hers either. Like never ever paid rent not once to her or his parents. As far as why she keeps getting back - she dumped him a few times so she must be semi-aware that he's a loser but she has some physical traits that wouldn't really put her in a category of women who would get 7+ guy and after being with said loser who is 7 Imo she refuses to date down.
 

BeardOfKnowledge

The Most Consistent Motherfucker You Know
Jul 22, 2015
60,547
56,268
Don't want to get specific but about talking shit - he talks shit about her. Cheated several times as well. About living home and not having anything, he's 35 and still lives with his mom and dad between crashing at hers and he doesn't pitch in or have any savings, also doesn't pitch in at hers either. Like never ever paid rent not once to her or his parents. As far as why she keeps getting back - she dumped him a few times so she must be semi-aware that he's a loser but she has some physical traits that wouldn't really put her in a category of women who would get 7+ guy and after being with said loser who is 7 Imo she refuses to date down.
It sounds like she's made the decision that the looks are worth the baggage. Let her be accountable for her choices. It's not like she's going to listen to anyone else anyways.
 

Never_Rolled

First 10,000
Dec 17, 2018
5,798
6,349
we've had interventions with several friends and family that were about to marry a loser or a cunt

from my experience, they will never listen, and when it comes to marriage/relationships

people are going to do what they WANT to do, and when they are open to advice they simply are looking for someone to agree with them


my wife's oldest sister married a typical loser who became a stay at home dad for 10 YEARS, with just 1 daughter....he was always "working" on some magic the gathering type card game he was creating but never had motivation to go out and find real employment
everyone in the family and around them would quietly nudge each other about how little respect they have for a full grown, able bodied man to just want to stay at home past the couple of years of child rearing

fast forward 15 years, and my wife's sister ended up cheating on her husband with a coworker...she got fed up with his loser attitude and lost all respect for him as a man who stayed at home doing nothing (she is a doctor)

everyone gave her "the talk" about not marrying such a guy, but she didnt listen at the time
My GF and her sister (also their deceased father) are MD’s. Sister is married to a stay at home dad. When asked if he was going to find work after their youngest was finished being home schooled sister said “he isn’t built for that”. Sister is a strong willed controlling on top of things person. She seems to be OK with wearing the pants and letting her slacker husband live off of her.
 

Filthy

Iowa Wrestling Champion
Jun 28, 2016
27,507
29,834
20+ thinking marriage age
Potential financial life disaster ahead
Step 1 is to stop referring to them as your child. They're not a child, and they're not yours. You have to decide at what level you're going to engage with her life, on her terms, and communicate that to her - as an adult to adult relationship. You haven't had a parent-child relationship for 5-10 years.
 

Banchan

The Most Dangerous Dame
Oct 2, 2017
4,515
2,905
So we're clear im asking what you would do if this was your situation as a parent because hers have said nothing to her but i know they are very upset about it.
 

Banchan

The Most Dangerous Dame
Oct 2, 2017
4,515
2,905
My mom used to say that and I ended up marrying a doctor's daughter.

Didn't work out as you'd anticipate. The cheap POS kept all the money for himself. Didn't even pay for her college and, when we got married, he gave us $50.

Fortunately, the fucker died. Unfortunately, my never-had-a-job mother-in-law is also a miserly POS.
50 is like the amount you give if you barely know the couple.
 

Banchan

The Most Dangerous Dame
Oct 2, 2017
4,515
2,905
I'm very fair and give everybody a chance. This guy is legitamitly shifty and thinks he's smarter than everybody just because this girl is so infatuated with him and she is not seeing what a true textbook loser he is.
 

Disciplined Galt

Disciplina et Frugalis
First 100
Jan 15, 2015
26,030
30,881
I'm very fair and give everybody a chance. This guy is legitamitly shifty and thinks he's smarter than everybody just because this girl is so infatuated with him and she is not seeing what a true textbook loser he is.
Donning Kruger effect.
 

Disciplined Galt

Disciplina et Frugalis
First 100
Jan 15, 2015
26,030
30,881
I'm very fair and give everybody a chance. This guy is legitamitly shifty and thinks he's smarter than everybody just because this girl is so infatuated with him and she is not seeing what a true textbook loser he is.
Donning Kruger effect.
 

ShatsBassoon

Throwing bombs & banging moms
First 100
Jan 14, 2015
18,555
33,607
Does OP even have any kids? Serious question.

Also, beware people giving advice unsolicited.
 

Never_Rolled

First 10,000
Dec 17, 2018
5,798
6,349
I'm very fair and give everybody a chance. This guy is legitamitly shifty and thinks he's smarter than everybody just because this girl is so infatuated with him and she is not seeing what a true textbook loser he is.
Did you ever think she knows the guy is a loser but maybe she just enjoys fucking him?
 

maurice

Posting Machine
Oct 21, 2015
1,361
2,295
Yes, if they ask.
I've generally avoided this type of conversation under the notion that it always backfires and pushes them closer to the loser, but I did make an exception once, about 15 years ago, when my sister in law asked me about her boyfriend's potential future earnings. I honestly answered that the dude had no work ethic, always had everything handed to him by his stereotypical Italian mom, dropped out of college 3 times, and will always make much less money than she makes as a woman in STEM.

She got mad, married the dude, and stopped speaking to me. In hindsight, my prediction was 100% accurate. He's like a bank teller or something.
 

BrunoMcGyver

Bruno no dey carry last
Dec 30, 2015
6,395
10,265
Hahaha I`m Number 1 and 2 and was number 4 for a little while...I`m amazingly good at finances though, so besides sometimes getting a free roof at my parents I`ve never had to mooch from anyone - in fact, I supported my gf for a few months until she was able to get a job.

End of the day, I`d like to ask if my child is happy with their partner and they`re a good person than I wouldnt mind. I`d prefer someone who wont mooch but at the end of the day there`s only so much control you have over other adults.