I'll think about it...thanks man
It's all good man.
You know what we do as men??? We try to problem solved. We problem solve ourselves and try to do it for everyone else. when your boy is complaining about something you know it's because he wants to hear solutions from you.
You know what we are really bad at as men? Not having control. You can't problem solve if you don't have control. You can't be the rock or a provider or any of that in our usual thinking. giving up control feels like the antithesis to everything about being masculine. Masculinity in its own right is a state of stability in most ways. It's shelter and safety.
So not saying to blame yourself here. I'm saying to understand why you're feelings are natural and why they're the first ways that you tried to solve this. Your internal rage/anger/fortitude at your own addiction drove your willpower to wanting to go onto Suboxone and eventually to quit that too.
You spent 24 hours a day working through your thoughts and getting ready for that battle. For how long??? Years??? And then you stepped out into the open. You did it. You accomplished your goal. You regained control. I can't begin to wonder what it's like to have no control for so long and suddenly have your control back. In some ways it must feel like being reborn and becoming a man again. At a minimum it is a return to the man that you want to be. Bravo. It's an amazing thing you did.
but you and I both know that you could not have done that one year before or six months or one week or maybe even one day. You had to think about it every minute of the day for probably years. You had to feel like shit and And watch people die and still not make that step. You had to rationalize all kinds of things. you had to psych yourself up and then fail and do it again. And in one day you were finally ready. You've now seen the other side and out of some place of love You're simply trying to exert your control on your own surroundings. Recognize that there's some fear in there that you haven't really regained all the control you thought. But also I realize you're just trying to get her to have all of this control and power and freedom that you've learned that you can have again.
You couldn't have made that step one day too soon. You would have failed. It was a culmination of experiences that psyched you up ready for battle to fully quit.
Get her ready. Support her. Get her resilient. Get her ready. Know that you would have failed if someone pushed you a day too soon.
Oh and here's the last part... women don't talk to hear your solutions. Not usually anyway. They don't talk just to be heard. That's superficial bullshit for men that don't understand women. Women talk out problems because it helps them arrange their internal ideas. So when your wife doesn't want to hear you tell her how to solve her addiction problem, That's not a rejection of your support or your value or your knowledge on how to quit. She knows you know how to quit. She just wants to work through it in her own head. That's how she will one day be where you got, regaining her freedom.