General Canada can't ketchup

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Hauler

Been fallin so long it's like gravitys gone
Feb 3, 2016
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Apparently the entire country of Canada has no idea how to get ketchup out of a bottle so Heinz is helping them out.

NEW YORK — Heinz ketchup was first introduced in 1876, which means we’ve endured almost 150 years of shaking, rattling, knife-poking and centrifuge in futile attempts to get that sweet tomato nectar out of the darn bottle.

No more! Heinz has released a new bottle that attempts to teach us how to finally pour correctly.

The Pour-Perfect bottle features a label that’s on all catawampus, but the magic happens when you tilt the bottle so the label is straight.

This is what Heinz calls “the perfect pouring angle,” which will supposedly allow a reasonable flow of ketchup that neither drowns your home fries nor insults them with a single watery trickle of ketchup goo.

The bottle is only available in Canada right now, but when word spreads that ketchup in glass bottles can actually be poured and eaten rather than just kept on the shelf for display, it will surely take off.



 
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The ketchup is the string, you are the cats and Canadians are teasing you with it. (malevolent laugh)
 
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BeardOfKnowledge

The Most Consistent Motherfucker You Know
Jul 22, 2015
60,547
56,268

BeardOfKnowledge

The Most Consistent Motherfucker You Know
Jul 22, 2015
60,547
56,268
Finally got the ketchup to come out of the bottle, eh? That's gotta be a good feeling.
I'm happy for ya, bro. ;)
I'm an adult so I don't really use ketchup but they gave up a bunch of Canadian market share when they NAFTA'ed their Canadian factory. They're trying to figure out ways back into Canadian fridges.
 
M

member 3289

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I'm an adult so I don't really use ketchup but they gave up a bunch of Canadian market share when they NAFTA'ed their Canadian factory. They're trying to figure out ways back into Canadian fridges.
Interdasting. They still have a monopoly on the ketchup market in the U.S.
 

Hauler

Been fallin so long it's like gravitys gone
Feb 3, 2016
45,416
57,815
They're trying to figure out ways back into Canadian fridges.
I guess making sure people of Canuckia know how to extract the product from the bottle is a pretty good start.

Also - LOL @ "Canadian Fridges"
Don't you mean "outside".
 
M

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Hauler

Been fallin so long it's like gravitys gone
Feb 3, 2016
45,416
57,815
i thought this thread was going to be about when heinz closed their windsor plant and people switched to frenchs ketchup for like a week and then switched back
I thought people of the 51st State loved the French? How is French's not the leading brand anyway?

I've seen French's mustard. Can't say I've ever spotted their ketchup.
 

jason73

Yuri Bezmenov was right
First 100
Jan 15, 2015
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I thought people of the 51st State loved the French? How is French's not the leading brand anyway?

I've seen French's mustard. Can't say I've ever spotted their ketchup.
i cant speak for the ontarians but western canada hates the french with a passion
 

Hauler

Been fallin so long it's like gravitys gone
Feb 3, 2016
45,416
57,815
i cant speak for the ontarians but western canada hates the french with a passion
I've noticed western Canadians sound like I'm talking to someone from Seattle, while eastern Canadians sound like I'm talking to someone from Paris who is struggling with the English language.
 

jason73

Yuri Bezmenov was right
First 100
Jan 15, 2015
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I've noticed western Canadians sound like I'm talking to someone from Seattle, while eastern Canadians sound like I'm talking to someone from Paris who is struggling with the English language.
those are the fuckers who say aboot