Totscum rolls off the tongue much more than Arsescum
General RIP Comunity Chit Chat
- Thread starter SongExotic2
- Start date
Our history is one of glory.
We will be dominating the 20's too.
You see the dust in the distance
I have a crush on a local very very gay newsreader. I think it's because I wake up quite often at 5ish and he's on telly keeping me company.
Another very gay news anchor keeps me company when I'm cooking dinner.
Another very gay news anchor keeps me company when I'm cooking dinner.
Apparently I'm a fag hag
Christ there is utter twat in my train carriage.
Pissed up trying to talk football with strangers. Thank god I've got my ear buds in
Total idiot. And unsurprisingly an Arsenal fan.
He's on the phone now discussing with another fucking bell. Probably his mum. That where he went tonight had too many Muslims there with beards.
I've had a long week. I don't need this. I wish I had brought my spanner with me.
The twat has just got off.
Peace reigns
Pissed up trying to talk football with strangers. Thank god I've got my ear buds in
Total idiot. And unsurprisingly an Arsenal fan.
He's on the phone now discussing with another fucking bell. Probably his mum. That where he went tonight had too many Muslims there with beards.
I've had a long week. I don't need this. I wish I had brought my spanner with me.
The twat has just got off.
Peace reigns
Fuck dammit, I wanted a pic.
#soz
He was very very thick.
The guy who he was talking to was a spurs fan and was taking the piss but thicko was too dense or drink to pick up on it. He genuinely thought he had made a friend
I've had nightmares on trains before.
1) Just after I bought the first Mini I had both keys and the emergency key in a rucksack at Farnborough and had to go all the way back to Waterloo to collect it. They cut all my cards up.
2) a homeless person came through the carriage asking for money. This bitch started yelling at him and was so horrible I called her on it. She called me a filthy hippy because I had flared jeans on and then tried to fight me
It took her other half pulling her back and my husband sitting on me to not retaliate. He got her to move a few seats behind and then as I recall he got off the train early and left her on it.
I’ve got a million train stories.I've had nightmares on trains before.
1) Just after I bought the first Mini I had both keys and the emergency key in a rucksack at Farnborough and had to go all the way back to Waterloo to collect it. They cut all my cards up.
2) a homeless person came through the carriage asking for money. This bitch started yelling at him and was so horrible I called her on it. She called me a filthy hippy because I had flared jeans on and then tried to fight me
He got her to move a few seats behind and then as I recall he got off the train early and left her on it.
One time. I was at band camp. Actually no I was at Liverpool Street. Last train home. I was super pissed. Gazza pissed. I bought a big McDonald’s. Quarter pounder meal with a side of nuggets.
I stumble bummed my way into a first class cabin.quite small with only two sets of four seats. The only other person in there was a very attractive girl around my age, at this time about 22. Sitting diagonally to me.
I laid my feast out on the opposite seats and as the train started off I took a bite into the quarters. I don’t know if it was the motion of the train or a dodgy pint. Obviously it was a dodgy pint but I started heaving. I placed the burger back and just chundered 9 pints of lager onto the carriage floor. It was literally liquid. It flooded the compartment with about 2 inches of my stomach contents and because of the motion of the train it had a tidal affect. Splashing up the bottom of the seats like a wave gently kissing the beach.
The effort of this expulsion of so much liquid so quickly had wiped me out. My eyes were red my stomach still heaving. I looked over to the girl and gasped out, eyes watering, I’m so sorry, so very sorry. She looked at me with the contempt and hate Nancy Pelosi would look at catching Donald Trump fucking her daughter-in-law.
Then she said in her massive Essex accent.
are you gonna eat that?
I could barely breath and indictated no. I am done.
So she leaned over grabbed the bitten burger, nuggets, chips, coke and sauces and ate the lot as my sick lapped around her ankles.
Diary. I married this woman.
I literally laughed for a good 30 seconds reading this. No wonder you settled in so quickly here.
Please tell me it's true. Pleeeeeeeeease!
after he hit him with a spanner
Did you watch the movie? Grandpa will tell me off again if I post in his Superbowl thread. It's always me that gets it
It was okay. Fairly predictableDid you watch the movie? Grandpa will tell me off again if I post in his Superbowl thread. It's always me that gets it
Lol. No of course not.
She disgusted me. She really was a looker though.
Another one where I was a winner. Same last train on another Friday night I was again shed faced but this time I had the turtles head. I needed a clear out and quickly.
Just made it onto the train. Left my jacket and bag on my seat and flew into this disgusting cabinet of a toilet. Not unlike the bog in train spotting ironically enough. People hadn’t bothered to use the bowl just piss in the room.
I didn’t care I need to unload about 4 pounds of dog eggs. I just made it but the stench. Mein gott. It was bad. Really bad. I waited till the train started moving and thought I would just slip out. The perfect getaway.
As I opened the door these two girls were just about to walk past. One bent over and started heaving the other started shouting at me that I was disgusting and needed help. I tried to push past them and escape but she followed me down the train carriage yelling I was the most filthy man on earth. The whole carriage was looking at me with same amount of contemt and disgust as before because her friend had left the door open so the smell followed me and everyone was commenting and shouting what a vile human being I was. I had to get my bag and jacket so I couldn’t just run away.
It was a long journey.
Diary I did not marry those girls
I really didn't see the ending coming at all. I was in pieces. Trues story, which I didn't know. I loved it apart from the crying.
I'm a nightmare watching stuff on flights though, the slightly funny thing is the funniest thing I've ever seen and something slightly sad has me crying my heart out.
have you ever watched Airplane! on an Airplane?
They basically spelled it out for you in the beginning
Jesus Christ, you people are baby cats.
Lost me at defecation. Can't deal. Sorry.
Yes.
I am a true supporter
I really want to say you are plastic, scum and someone I have utter contempt for.
But the truth is you are only scum
Lulz. I used to go to Highbury for a good 10/11 games a season from Farnborough which was a fuck of a journey with quite often an elderly mother in law...
I've done my time.