As Requested, My White Trash Inlaws

[BJTT-Rizzo]

You should write a book, a nice collection of short story's of "the zanny hijinks of HG's in laws "

This is what I think too. People make money from some absurd shit. This stuff is so good HG.

I've retold your stuff to people and they all laughed. Also every time I hear a wolf howl I image your in-laws pack. Lol

 

[Hired Gun]

I would have no idea on how to drag this out into a entire book. These stories all fit in three pages of posts not 300 pages in a book

 

[check it]

i feel like i just watched joe dirt 3. great stuff.

 

[ThatOneDude]

I would have no idea on how to drag this out into a entire book. These stories all fit in three pages of posts not 300 pages in a book

You don't need 300 paged big hoss. Just a small collection of short stories. Maybe get an illustrator to do some full page illustrations.

 

[jason73]

right now my white trash sister in enroute from alberta for a white trash wedding this weekend. i feel like i am going to be walking in HGs shoes for the next few days. hopefully i get a couple good stories out of it at least lol

 

[Hired Gun]

Lightning Boy's wedding was mad crazy. Bucket Up bro it'll be a crazy ride

 

[ThatOneDude]

right now my white trash sister in enroute from alberta for a white trash wedding this weekend. i feel like i am going to be walking in HGs shoes for the next few days. hopefully i get a couple good stories out of it at least lol

Please post them if you do

 

[Leigh]

I think they only have one set they breed now so they should only have them plus how ever many pups they have. I'm pretty sure they didn't get the ones that took over the house back as we never heard the outcome. They took off and moved halfway across the country to an Indian reservation where they began teaching. I did some research because in allot of states here in the US you are not allowed to own these fuckers and in most that you can you have to get a permit and allowed only a few. They keep and eye on people that own them. The state where they were at had no laws regarding them. I'm sure they checked into this stuff as they are always doing borderline criminal stuff. They push it as far as they can but won't step over the line but man is the line really pushed.

As far as the trip where they got washed out I'm pretty sure they had two cars because even without the wolves they couldn't have all fit in one car(WM, Unabomber, their son, and WM's two daughters).

Uh, so they're STILL breeding them? LMAO!

 

[otaku1]

Fuck I just remembered one

Cousin Shorty

Cousin Shorty is a small guy around 5'3" on a good day. He honestly believes he is God's gift to women. I mean he's always chatting them up and trying which I'll give him credit for doing. He's also a truck driver which is funny seeing such a little guy get out of a big truck but I will say at least he works.
Since he is such a ladies man he started reading all these womens magazines as he figures if he knows how a woman thinks then it'll be easier to pick them up. Gotta admit it's not a bad idea especially for a person that is part of this family. So one magazine they had an article about "manscapping". He stops at a truck stop to grab some fuel, food and a shower and decides to shave the beans and frank. Being a shot guy he can't see in the mirror so he climbs on top of the sink and stands there to shave his junk. Anyone with common sense would know not to do this but not him. Due to the weight he rips the fucking sink right off the wall and floods the bathroom/shower area. He throws his clothes on, grabs his stuff and beats feet out of there. No idea if he was able to finish shaving, cut his junk off or not as I was loling to hard to ask.

... And he told you. Lol. Even better.

 

[otaku1]

Please post them if you do

Please do.

 

[Hired Gun]

... And he told you. Lol. Even better.

These people have no shame. I mean it's like Lightning Boy talking abut thinking he was gay because a hooker licked his pooper. Who would tell anyone about that?

 

[otaku1]

These people have no shame. I mean it's like Lightning Boy talking abut thinking he was gay because a hooker licked his pooper. Who would tell anyone about that?

LMAO
Damn you HG. I'm at lunch and almost spat my coffee in my colleagues face.
Bwahahaha

 

[Hired Gun]

LMAO
Damn you HG. I'm at lunch and almost spat my coffee in my colleagues face.
Bwahahaha

LOL I thought that was one of the stories I posted. Guess not

Lightning Boy approached me at a family gathering and asked if I could offer him some advice. He seemed concerned so I said sure what's up? He got a job driving a truck a few yrs back(long before he met his wife). He wasn't much of a ladies man. One night he was at a truck stop and got approached by a lot lizard(truck stop hooker) who asked him "if he wanted some company"? They worked something out and ended up in the sleeper. He gets this concerned look on his face and he says "HG she licked my whole butthole". I said "ok . .. "? He said "I've been worrying for a few months on how to tell my parents that I'm a homosexual".

HUH?

I had to ask "was the hooker a man"? He replied "no it was a woman but aren't you listening she licked my butthole". Then it hit me what he was getting to so I calmed him down by saying "just because a woman licks your ass and you like it doesn't mean you're gay". The relief you could see on this kids face was priceless. He said "you mean it's ok and doesn't make you a queer"? I replied "no it's ok. Did you like it"? He replied "hell yes, I'm gonna have to find her and have her do that again ".

I turned him into a Hooker Stalker lol

 

[OhWhopDaChamp]

So much stuff has happened over the 27 yrs I've been with my wife(25 of them married)

that's a long time. Congrats HG that's really beautiful

 

[Hired Gun]

that's a long time. Congrats HG that's really beautiful

Thank You, it gets better every day. Seriously. I wish everyone can find the happiness we have.

 

[otaku1]

LOL I thought that was one of the stories I posted. Guess not

Lightning Boy approached me at a family gathering and asked if I could offer him some advice. He seemed concerned so I said sure what's up? He got a job driving a truck a few yrs back(long before he met his wife). He wasn't much of a ladies man. One night he was at a truck stop and got approached by a lot lizard(truck stop hooker) who asked him "if he wanted some company"? They worked something out and ended up in the sleeper. He gets this concerned look on his face and he says "HG she licked my whole butthole". I said "ok . .. "? He said "I've been worrying for a few months on how to tell my parents that I'm a homosexual".

HUH?

I had to ask "was the hooker a man"? He replied "no it was a woman but aren't you listening she licked my butthole". Then it hit me what he was getting to so I calmed him down by saying "just because a woman licks your ass and you like it doesn't mean you're gay". The relief you could see on this kids face was priceless. He said "you mean it's ok and doesn't make you a queer"? I replied "no it's ok. Did you like it"? He replied "hell yes, I'm gonna have to find her and have her do that again ".

I turned him into a Hooker Stalker lol

Oh jeezus.
If there's one person I have to meet its either wm or lb.
lmao

 

[Hired Gun]

WM hit on my Dad right after the wife and I got married. My Mom and I still give him shit about it to this day.

 

[otaku1]

Will there be an end to all this insanity??

I sure hope not!!

 

[Hired Gun]

As you all know Shorty is a little guy and a truck driver. He was rolling across this great country of ours and had to take a shit. There wasn't a place to stop nor a tree to be found so he decided to pull over and do his business in the scraper bowl he was hauling. A scrapper bowl is a large bucket sort of like the one on a dump truck. It had plenty of room where no one would see him. He climbs in it and does his business but when he trys to get out he can't as it's to slick to get a running start in. He runs and runs but no luck getting up the incline so he just has to stay there while the stinky load he dropped cooks in the sun. Finally a State Trooper pulled in behind him to find out if he was broker down or what the situation was. Shorty yelled out to let him know of his issue. The cop had to call the fire dept out to get a ladder so he could climb out and relief himself of the odor. I wonder how angry the guy was that found it on delivery?

 

[Darqnezz]

Are you Sir related to:
?

 

[Hired Gun]

This family is close but no drugs or alcohol are involved. They're just stupid and have no common sense

 

[Darqnezz]

Would you do me the honor of inviting me to the next family reunion?

 

[ThatOneDude]

This family is close but no drugs or alcohol are involved. They're just stupid and have no common sense

That's even sadder

 

[ThatOneDude]

Would you do me the honor of inviting me to the next family reunion?

Or at a bare minimum parascope it

 

[Darqnezz]

Or at a bare minimum parascope it

Nah, I want to get pics, autographs, & shit.