I have an actual gym enemy, and it's weird because I don't even know how to lift weights.
I have a membership at a 24-hour gym, a small one in a strip mall, and I only go to the gym at 1 or 2 a.m. I hate crowded gyms, I hate being around all the juiced-up guys and attention whore women, so I go when it's usually completely empty. There isn't even an employee on duty, I have an RFID key that opens the gym 24 hours per day. From August to today I'd lost 41 pounds so far.
I do the old 24-hour Fitness "Express Zone" workout. I ride an exercise bike for 10 minutes, get my pulse up over 130, and then do 2 sets of 15 reps on 11 machines. Standard shit: Bicep curls, overhead pulls, chest press, etc. I don't even know what the machines are called, and can't do a lot of weight. But I rip through, then hit the exercise bike for another 10 minutes to cool down, and my entire workout takes less than 40 minutes. Pulse up, rip through the set with less than 30 seconds between sets, cool off, go home.
The past two months around one or two nights per week there is this gigantic, fat, STRONG butch-lesbian looking chick in there. You can always tell what exercise bike she was on because it's literally covered in sweat. She'll be in the free weights, curling in front of the mirror, or on one of the machines. She's got these Beats headphones on, a bandana, and she's aggressively bobbing her head to the death metal I can hear from 10 feet away.
Bitch gets FURIOUS when I walk in. I've figured out that she comes in with the gym empty, pre-sets all the machines to whatever weight she wants, and must do some sort of 2-hour workout. She does way more weight than me on every station, and I have to adjust the seats and weights for myself when I start. I always set the weight back to whatever she had it at, but I'm not going through the effort to remember her fucking seat settings.
A couple weeks ago I'm doing that one where you pull the weight in a butterfly motion, and in my 30 seconds between the 15-rep sets, this bitch comes flying across the gym, and screams "Don't touch my shit!" I'm wondering what the fuck she is talking about, and her cell phone is plugged into a wall outlet like 10 feet away. She grabs it and takes it over to the free weights (where I have never set foot in my life), and plugs it in, then mean-mugs me in the mirror and goes back to lifting.
She must have complained about me, or the security company was watching the video, I don't know... But someone told her to chill the fuck out. I came in a few nights ago and she was there, and she came over and said, "Don't talk shit about me to the management, asshole. Stay the fuck away from me and I'll stay the fuck away from you!" and marched off. I never said shit to anyone, and actually found her anger funny. She's definitely working out serious issues, and hopefully the weights are her therapy.
She spent the rest of that workout mean-mugging me as I ripped through my uber-lightweight workout. I'm done putting the weights back on her numbers (trying to remember sucked anyways), and I just put them back in the default position.
So, yeah... I've got an enemy. I like an empty gym, and I get that she does too, but chill the fuck out bish.
I have a membership at a 24-hour gym, a small one in a strip mall, and I only go to the gym at 1 or 2 a.m. I hate crowded gyms, I hate being around all the juiced-up guys and attention whore women, so I go when it's usually completely empty. There isn't even an employee on duty, I have an RFID key that opens the gym 24 hours per day. From August to today I'd lost 41 pounds so far.
I do the old 24-hour Fitness "Express Zone" workout. I ride an exercise bike for 10 minutes, get my pulse up over 130, and then do 2 sets of 15 reps on 11 machines. Standard shit: Bicep curls, overhead pulls, chest press, etc. I don't even know what the machines are called, and can't do a lot of weight. But I rip through, then hit the exercise bike for another 10 minutes to cool down, and my entire workout takes less than 40 minutes. Pulse up, rip through the set with less than 30 seconds between sets, cool off, go home.
The past two months around one or two nights per week there is this gigantic, fat, STRONG butch-lesbian looking chick in there. You can always tell what exercise bike she was on because it's literally covered in sweat. She'll be in the free weights, curling in front of the mirror, or on one of the machines. She's got these Beats headphones on, a bandana, and she's aggressively bobbing her head to the death metal I can hear from 10 feet away.
Bitch gets FURIOUS when I walk in. I've figured out that she comes in with the gym empty, pre-sets all the machines to whatever weight she wants, and must do some sort of 2-hour workout. She does way more weight than me on every station, and I have to adjust the seats and weights for myself when I start. I always set the weight back to whatever she had it at, but I'm not going through the effort to remember her fucking seat settings.
A couple weeks ago I'm doing that one where you pull the weight in a butterfly motion, and in my 30 seconds between the 15-rep sets, this bitch comes flying across the gym, and screams "Don't touch my shit!" I'm wondering what the fuck she is talking about, and her cell phone is plugged into a wall outlet like 10 feet away. She grabs it and takes it over to the free weights (where I have never set foot in my life), and plugs it in, then mean-mugs me in the mirror and goes back to lifting.
She must have complained about me, or the security company was watching the video, I don't know... But someone told her to chill the fuck out. I came in a few nights ago and she was there, and she came over and said, "Don't talk shit about me to the management, asshole. Stay the fuck away from me and I'll stay the fuck away from you!" and marched off. I never said shit to anyone, and actually found her anger funny. She's definitely working out serious issues, and hopefully the weights are her therapy.
She spent the rest of that workout mean-mugging me as I ripped through my uber-lightweight workout. I'm done putting the weights back on her numbers (trying to remember sucked anyways), and I just put them back in the default position.
So, yeah... I've got an enemy. I like an empty gym, and I get that she does too, but chill the fuck out bish.
