Politician GP Prelims 3: Dick Cheney vs Arnold Schwarzenegger

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Dick Cheney vs Arnold Schwarzenegger

  • Total voters
    34
Leigh

Leigh

Engineer
Pro Fighter
Jan 26, 2015
10,912
21,059
Prelims 3: Dick Cheney vs Arnold Schwarzenegger

Dick Cheney - IschKabibble @IschKabibble vs Arnold Schwarzenegger - kneeblock @Kneeblock

Arena: The African Savannah

Win is by KO/death. Fleeing the battle is a DQ. Battlefield removal (BFR) is allowed but does not automatically equal a win; you must still defeat your opponent.


 
IschKabibble

IschKabibble

zero
First 100
Jan 15, 2015
17,469
23,794
The African Savannah?!?! How was the arena chosen? I demand a recount!
 
Last edited:
IschKabibble

IschKabibble

zero
First 100
Jan 15, 2015
17,469
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Leigh said:
Sorry mate, I used www.random.org to generate the draws and the arenas
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I won't have it. President George W. Bush and I will carry out a formal investigation into the source code of said website before we proceed. It is of absolute importance that we uphold the integrity of the democratic process.

 
IschKabibble

IschKabibble

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Jan 15, 2015
17,469
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Super Dave said:
Cheney may be a hunter but there's no way he beats the Austrian Death Machine
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I'll tell you this. I've met Arnold on more than one occasion. He's a Nancy boy. Don't let his bloated stage muscles fool you. He has no core strength. He and I were wrestling around after the White House Correspondents' Dinner in 2004 and I had that guy on his ass in no time. And have you seen his striking? Watch him try to punch this reindeer.



Wild, looping, sloppy uppercut that would leave him open to any man's swift jab. You know what? I don't care where this fight goes down. Bring it on, Arnold. You know I've gotten the best of you before and I'll be happy to do it again.

 
IschKabibble

IschKabibble

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Jan 15, 2015
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W and I have concluded our investigation and uncovered some startling results. It appears the developer and maintainer of the random.org website originates from Ireland. It is not democratically fair for two fine American patriots to be subjected to such foreign number generators.



And if you're not willing to grant a re-roll, I'll have to have reschedule my annual African Savanna hunting vacation to around the same time. For convenience of travel and whatnot. My buddies will be on standby with my equipment, but I assure you they will not interfere. My word is my bond.



And FYI Arny, I just had my mechanical heart readjusted. I'm feeling extra confident. Don't forget about the last time I had to shut you up. You covered it up as if were an auto accident, but you and I both know how you got that busted lip.

USATODAY.com - Schwarzenegger, son get in motorcycle accident

 
kneeblock

kneeblock

Drapetomaniac
Apr 18, 2015
12,433
22,931
Arnold looks askance from his throne of iron at the puny old man, lost in the jungles without the rifle he uses to blow his aides' faces off.



After chuckling for a half hour as old Dick tries to plead for his life, The Governator gets serious and fixes his gaze.



Dick's heart explodes with Arnold not even breaking a sweat.

 
P

Punch

Guest
Cheney via cyborg of doom stamping. He's like Darth Vader, more machine than man. :D
 
IschKabibble

IschKabibble

zero
First 100
Jan 15, 2015
17,469
23,794
Kneeblock said:
Arnold looks askance from his throne of iron at the puny old man, lost in the jungles without the rifle he uses to blow his aides' faces off.



After chuckling for a half hour as old Dick tries to plead for his life, The Governator gets serious and fixes his gaze.



Dick's heart explodes with Arnold not even breaking a sweat.

Click to expand...
...or so he thought. Little did Arnold know, Dick's mechanical heart employed anti-explosion technology. Arnold buys the heart attack charade and turns around to flex his synthol muscles when a loud bang erupts. Arnold falls to his face like a sack of potatoes. He's dead as shit. Many mysteries still surround that day and the internet is teeming with conspiracy theories...

 
kneeblock

kneeblock

Drapetomaniac
Apr 18, 2015
12,433
22,931
IschKabibble said:
...or so he thought. Little did Arnold know, Dick's mechanical heart employed anti-explosion technology. Arnold buys the heart attack charade and turns around to flex his synthol muscles when a loud bang erupts. Arnold falls to his face like a sack of potatoes. He's dead as shit. Many mysteries still surround that day and the internet is teeming with conspiracy theories...

Click to expand...
But Arnold's more machine than man and with a simple RFID signal, he shuts off Dickie's techno heart.



And while the Dickster is desperately pushing the button on his emergency one step hoping somehow Scooter Libby will take yet another one for the team, Arnold is prepping an evening victory siesta on his mistress's ample bosom.



Dick slithers to his doom and the Governator taps some ashes on his corpse for good measure reminding him that all the real thugs come from Austria.

 
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