So, yeah, I used to deliver pizzas.

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Mix6APlix

The more you cry, the less I care.
Oct 20, 2015
12,918
13,405
Great job. Delivered food, got baked, listened to good music (real music, not rap or techno or any EDM shit) Place I worked for was the hub of drug transportation in the neighborhood at the time. Cops were always watching us. ALWAYS.

So I take a delivery out to Bell Rd. A bit out in the sticks, but on the edge of our delivery zone. I'm maybe 18, high as shit, and just trying to sling a pie. Bell rd. is lined with pretty nice houses. It's not a shabby neighborhood at all. And remember this was before GPS and shit, I was just a stoned teenager trying to deliver some food. Who doesn't like the pizza guy!?!?! Everyone loves the pizza guy.

Except for this guy. Wearing boxers, a bathrobe, and brandishing a shotgun, and looking like he hadn't slept in a week,

He answers the door, and sticks a shotgun in my face. Like I could have tongued it if I were so inclined.

"Who the fuck are you?" he asks.

"I'm the pizza guy." I answer.

"I didn't order a fucking pizza". Then he kicked the door shut. His neighbor ordered it. And they got it. But a fun memory for sure.

So, the moral of the story is, even if your kids are delivering pizzas in an upper middle class neighborhood, there is always the chance that the person who answers the door, might stick a shotgun in their face. Ideally with GPS, these situations will be minimized, but you can never be too sure.

God I miss those days....
 
M

member 3289

Guest
Question - first time posting this thread (on any forum) yes or no?
 

Robbie Hart

All Kamala Voters Are Born Losers, Ha Ha Ha
Feb 13, 2015
51,537
51,805
I once had a shotgun pointed at my face because some Sparta, nj rogue hick ass motha fuckers rode past me and the co-captain of our team when we went on a routine run before practice......my teammate decided to give the hicks the finger when they beeped at us.....ate a shitload of humble pie to live to fight another day....
 

Too swole to control

I’ll fight anyone on here except Sex Chicken
Oct 28, 2015
5,879
9,462
Btw how would gps have stopped you from not being able to read house numbers and knocking on neighbors door? Thanks
 

jasonhightower

"You're not even training are you Frenchy?"
Jan 2, 2017
1,115
1,686
I'm going to add this to my list of retirement gigs. Seriously. I think I could have a good time doing it.
 

Mix6APlix

The more you cry, the less I care.
Oct 20, 2015
12,918
13,405
I'm going to add this to my list of retirement gigs. Seriously. I think I could have a good time doing it.
Driving pies was awesome. Listening to music, getting baked, often doing beer runs for your underaged friends, and slinging herbs along the way. it was a good gig.
 

Tuc Ouiner

Posting Machine
May 19, 2016
2,031
1,640
The exact same thing happened to me, but I was working for an Indian restaurant in the city and I shat myself, but it could have been the chicken vindaloo I had for lunch. It did taste a bit off. My boss Jugdish Singh was so disappointed in me that he refuses to let me have the chicken vindaloo for lunch, but he insists that I wear Depends (an Indian knock off version made of cloth- quite comfortable, actually).
 

Jesus X

4 drink minimum.
Sep 7, 2015
29,613
31,962
I wouldn't want to be a driver in our neighborhood .

I just made pizzas at dominos in high school,it was an easy job took me 30 seconds to put a pizza together.
 
M

member 1013

Guest
I once had a shotgun pointed at my face because some Sparta, nj rogue hick ass motha fuckers rode past me and the co-captain of our team when we went on a routine run before practice......my teammate decided to give the hicks the finger when they beeped at us.....ate a shitload of humble pie to live to fight another day....
Wtf Priziesthorse @Priziesthorse
 

HEATH VON DOOM

Remember the 5th of November
Oct 21, 2015
17,281
24,670
This thread has inspired me to quit my job and deliver pizzas. The biggest decision of my life will be to drive for Dominos or Papa Johns.