Challenge: Name the 175 and 165 divisions without a prefix

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Chromium

Posting Machine
Oct 10, 2016
825
1,326
Right now, in MMA we have 10 widely accepted divisions, and also Super-Heavyweight, a division literally inserted into the MMA Unified Rules rough draft by Joe Silva because he wanted to keep fatties with 30 second gas tanks out of the UFC.

Currently, every weight class that exists has a name either from boxing, kickboxing (Atomweight), or wrestling (I'm pretty sure SHW is from wrestling).

The names out there that we don't use that don't have a prefix include Cruiserweight (for big dudes who are just a bit too lean for Heavyweight), Ultra Heavyweight (class occasionally used in BJJ and pretty self-explanatory), Pinweight (for midget boxers and really small females, mainly just an amateur class), and Minimumweight (again this is self-explanatory).

Of the above, only Cruiserweight isn't at one end of the spectrum or the other, and it's still pretty clear that a division named after the second most badass type of boat built to sink the German Navy is meant for dudes larger than Middleweight.

Meanwhile, while I'm not really in favor of it, there's extremely disturbing evidence that 175 and 165 may be upon us. Dana White just specifically said in a press conference that 175 will never happen in the UFC, and this is a man who both has the power to add new divisions and uses lies like some sort of reverse oracle. Now, I'm not saying that every sentence he says is a lie, but every time he tells his wife he's "absolutely going to the grocery store later" she gets a comprehensive STD test, and if he were to ever tell her "me and Ari are going out to fuck three ring girls and a midget while I force Colby Covington to sit in the corner dressed like a furry and tell us animal puns", she'd probably ask him to be sure to get 2% milk.

All I'm saying is he just told us 165 is incoming. It's not a huge stretch that 170 might be bumped up as well. Now, you might think it'd be perfectly reasonable to call one of the two new classes "welterweight," but what better way to get revenge on GSP than to erase his entire legacy and pretend his weight class never even existed? Shit like that is what Dana White lives for.

Either way, this leaves us with a problem: we're getting a new weight class or two, and those weight classes will need new names. We could do what boxing does and just add "super", or "light", or "junior", or "Mini", but do we really want to follow down the path of a sport with 17 weight classes and 60 official world champions? Boxing is a sport that until recently used lesser world title fights the way the UFC used FightPass prelims: as background noise to make ordering a pizza or going to the bathroom a more interesting experience. That's why I'm insisting that as a rule for this challenge, prefixes are NOT okay unless it's something really creative. Seriously, Junior Middleweight is about as creative as a Reebok fight kit, and unlike Reebok or syphilis, it won't disappear with time.

So I'm asking you, just what the fuck do we call these new classes? I'm totally fine with serious answers by the way. If someone wants to call 165 "Raptorweight", is that really objectively a bad name? Should people really make fun of them for that? We accept the names "Featherweight" (from the days when small athletic dudes were mainly used to catch subdue chickens for slaughter during the Great Depression) and Bantamweight (same, except smaller chickens) because they've existed forever. Meanwhile, velociraptors are fucking awesome and I would totally pay money to see Donald Cerrone beat the shit out of one just to claim usage rights for the word raptor for all mankind. Aint no one gonna question Raptorweight after that happens.

So I'm asking you folks, please help me out here, let's make the transition to new weight classes as un-stupid as possible. Seriously, what would you call these divisions?
 

Rambo John J

Eats things that would make a Billy Goat Puke
First 100
Jan 17, 2015
71,545
71,469
Right now, in MMA we have 10 widely accepted divisions, and also Super-Heavyweight, a division literally inserted into the MMA Unified Rules rough draft by Joe Silva because he wanted to keep fatties with 30 second gas tanks out of the UFC.

Currently, every weight class that exists has a name either from boxing, kickboxing (Atomweight), or wrestling (I'm pretty sure SHW is from wrestling).

The names out there that we don't use that don't have a prefix include Cruiserweight (for big dudes who are just a bit too lean for Heavyweight), Ultra Heavyweight (class occasionally used in BJJ and pretty self-explanatory), Pinweight (for midget boxers and really small females, mainly just an amateur class), and Minimumweight (again this is self-explanatory).

Of the above, only Cruiserweight isn't at one end of the spectrum or the other, and it's still pretty clear that a division named after the second most badass type of boat built to sink the German Navy is meant for dudes larger than Middleweight.

Meanwhile, while I'm not really in favor of it, there's extremely disturbing evidence that 175 and 165 may be upon us. Dana White just specifically said in a press conference that 175 will never happen in the UFC, and this is a man who both has the power to add new divisions and uses lies like some sort of reverse oracle. Now, I'm not saying that every sentence he says is a lie, but every time he tells his wife he's "absolutely going to the grocery store later" she gets a comprehensive STD test, and if he were to ever tell her "me and Ari are going out to fuck three ring girls and a midget while I force Colby Covington to sit in the corner dressed like a furry and tell us animal puns", she'd probably ask him to be sure to get 2% milk.

All I'm saying is he just told us 165 is incoming. It's not a huge stretch that 170 might be bumped up as well. Now, you might think it'd be perfectly reasonable to call one of the two new classes "welterweight," but what better way to get revenge on GSP than to erase his entire legacy and pretend his weight class never even existed? Shit like that is what Dana White lives for.

Either way, this leaves us with a problem: we're getting a new weight class or two, and those weight classes will need new names. We could do what boxing does and just add "super", or "light", or "junior", or "Mini", but do we really want to follow down the path of a sport with 17 weight classes and 60 official world champions? Boxing is a sport that until recently used lesser world title fights the way the UFC used FightPass prelims: as background noise to make ordering a pizza or going to the bathroom a more interesting experience. That's why I'm insisting that as a rule for this challenge, prefixes are NOT okay unless it's something really creative. Seriously, Junior Middleweight is about as creative as a Reebok fight kit, and unlike Reebok or syphilis, it won't disappear with time.

So I'm asking you, just what the fuck do we call these new classes? I'm totally fine with serious answers by the way. If someone wants to call 165 "Raptorweight", is that really objectively a bad name? Should people really make fun of them for that? We accept the names "Featherweight" (from the days when small athletic dudes were mainly used to catch subdue chickens for slaughter during the Great Depression) and Bantamweight (same, except smaller chickens) because they've existed forever. Meanwhile, velociraptors are fucking awesome and I would totally pay money to see Donald Cerrone beat the shit out of one just to claim usage rights for the word raptor for all mankind. Aint no one gonna question Raptorweight after that happens.

So I'm asking you folks, please help me out here, let's make the transition to new weight classes as un-stupid as possible. Seriously, what would you call these divisions?
Labelling weight classes doesn't make sense to me anyways...the names mean different fighters in different combat sports

I say just call em 165ers 175ers etc...

I like
240+
205-240
195ers
185ers
175ers
165ers
155ers
etc...as low as you wanna go( rarely watch the 125ers but there are some really talented lil guys no doubt)
 

kneeblock

Drapetomaniac
Apr 18, 2015
12,435
23,026
Since cruiserweight literally means nothing, may as well just call them cruiserweights.
 

aghof

an person
Apr 15, 2015
2,037
3,814
Labelling weight classes doesn't make sense to me anyways...the names mean different fighters in different combat sports

I say just call em 165ers 175ers etc...

I like
240+
205-240
195ers
185ers
175ers
165ers
155ers
etc...as low as you wanna go( rarely watch the 125ers but there are some really talented lil guys no doubt)
I agree... the worst is when then keep the name-weight parings the same for the women. Cyborg, Tonya Evinger, the 6'12" Megan Anderson: featherweights
 

nuraknu

savage
Jul 20, 2016
6,247
10,770
I read the whole thing, and I like raptorweight. I don't have any great ideas myself right now, but I'm supposed to be sleeping.
 

The EZ Life

Posting Machine
Aug 6, 2015
1,595
1,445
Name the lowest weight class “microweight” and bump everything up 1.


So 165 would be new lightweight and 175 would become welterweight