General Insignificant, unimportant things that you are just completely hopeless at?

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John Lee Pettimore

Further south than you
May 18, 2021
6,302
6,762
For example, I can neither skateboard nor ice-skate. The first time I ever went on a skateboard I smashed both of my newly-grown adult front teeth out. As an adult my balance is terrible because I had all sorts of issues with my ears as an infant, so that's never gonna work even without the negative first experience. But I can stand on a skateboard, and that's it. As soon as it starts moving, I ass over.

Ice skating is a similar story, balance is bad (once I lose my balance, I can't get it back again) and to be fair, learning to ice skate wasn't a huge priority growing up in Australia. I can walk on ice while wearing ice skates, but I can't skate.

Also I am terrible at spitting, I never got the technique of launching a good loogie. A good mate of mine in high school could knock a fly off a leaf from 10 yards away, he had distance and accuracy. But if I went for any distance, I just ended up with saliva all over the front of my shirt. Can fire a mean snot rocket into the gutter, though.


What simple, unimportant things are you just plain terrible at, and you don't know why?

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SuperPig

Enjoy yourselves
Aug 7, 2015
30,979
51,737
I am absolutely dogshit at formatting documents and making them aesthetically pleasing. Even the most simple of tasks in a word document escapes me. It's really quite bizarre because I'm rather good at most things computer related but as soon as I have to do something beyond bullet points or changing a font color I become completely inept.
 
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John Lee Pettimore

Further south than you
May 18, 2021
6,302
6,762
I am absolutely dogshit at formatting documents and making them aestheticslly pleasing. Even the most simple of tasks in a word document escapes me. It's really quite bizarre because I'm rather good at most things computer related but as soon as I have to do something beyond bullet points or changing a font color I become completely inept.
Exactly the sort of thing I'm looking for! ?

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John Lee Pettimore

Further south than you
May 18, 2021
6,302
6,762
One that's not me, but a good mate of mine - he cannot whistle. Like, at all. Not even a little bit. And he gets REAL salty when he's made fun of for it. It's a real psychological sore spot for him. :smile:

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RaginCajun

The Reigning Undisputed Monsters Tournament Champ
Oct 25, 2015
36,970
93,842
Giving women orgasms...
I thought I once gave a lady an orgasm before but it turned out I was just accidentally laying on her hair.

 

Big Dummy

Cream of the Crop
Dec 15, 2018
8,319
12,755
They don't
They do, and they are spectacular.

Jesus, whoever came up with those books must be fucking loaded. For about five years, you couldn't take six steps in any shopping area without seeing three display stands selling those books.

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YO! I fucking did it!!!!

It’s a shark! It’s a motherfucking shark!
25 years later I finally got it.


I still can’t flip multiple fried eggs consistently.
 
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Big Dummy

Cream of the Crop
Dec 15, 2018
8,319
12,755
I'm not seeing it
I used an iPad. Just put it close to your nose, stare through it then pull it away, then slowly let your eyes focus.

So far I’ve seen a baseball player and some dolphins jumping through hoops. I feel so triumphant! My Sunday is officially shot.

Thank you John Lee Pettimore @John Lee Pettimore for making me face my shortcomings and finally conquer this monster.
 

gangsterkathryn

저승사자
Oct 20, 2015
17,319
20,573
YO! I fucking did it!!!!

It’s a shark! It’s a motherfucking shark!
25 years later I finally got it.


I still can’t flip multiple fried eggs consistently.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen you show so much excitement over something.
I still can’t see it but I also can’t focus on shit like that with my eye muscle disorder. ?
 

Big Dummy

Cream of the Crop
Dec 15, 2018
8,319
12,755
I don’t think I’ve ever seen you show so much excitement over something.
I still can’t see it but I also can’t focus on shit like that with my eye muscle disorder. ?
I got one of those books for my birthday about 25 years ago and I spent hours trying to get to work. No luck, not even close. I’m no longer a Magic Eye virgin.