Lifestyle Almost had to kill a man at the 7-11.

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Mix6APlix

The more you cry, the less I care.
Oct 20, 2015
12,918
13,449
First, let me establish one indisputable fact: Slurpees are the best frozen beverage in the history of mankind. I don't want to hear any shit about Slushies or ICEEs or shitty ass snow cones. Hello, it's Slurpees, and you lose.

A lot of people just pour their Slurpee into a cup, people that do shouldn't breed. When I was with the chick who gave me my Rottie, I could show up with a layered tye dyed Slurpee and it was better than a dozen roses.

I still make my tye dyed Slurpees in the largest clear plastic cups they have.

So, after finding out that my booze store was getting fucked over by the greek cocksucker not renewing their lease, I needed something to cheer me up. A killer Slurpee might do the trick, so I head over to 7-11.

Leonardo DaVinci or Michaelangelo could tell you, pouring the perfect tye dyed Slurpee is a fucking art form. If you fuck up any step along the way, the whole thing is ruined. Biggest mistake in doing so, is hitting the nozzle on one of their 12 flavors without letting a little bit pour out before hand, as that ruins the uniformity of the frozen iciness, thereby disrupting the beauty of the picture you are painting in that plastic cup.

So as I am standing there, letting some of the Slurpee pour out so I can get the consistency I need, Apu or whatever the fuck his name was tells me 'Dont pour the the Slurpee unless it's in the cup'. Now I am not in the mood, I'm here to make myself happier, not have some fucking guy who is probably here illegally while funneling money back to wherethefuckeveristan so they can attack the US or other cities. Not that I care about the other cities, but still.

I turn toward him, judging by the woman and her 3 children that just entered, I think my eyes were glowing fiery red when I said 'Fucking charge me for 2 then, I'm making a masterpiece!'

I then apologized to the woman. 'Sorry, didn't know there were children here'

She still looked horrified.

I paid for two Slurpees, but only had one. It was glorious and made my sad day a little bit, shit, quite a bit happier. I fucking love Slurpees.
 

Hauler

Been fallin so long it's like gravitys gone
Feb 3, 2016
45,412
57,814
He pocketed that extra money.
They keep track of sales by the cups.
 

Tuc Ouiner

Posting Machine
May 19, 2016
1,816
1,467
Shouldn't trip Khalib's trigger. Maybe make him a rainbow slurpee as a peaceful gesture. Maybe he put jihad on your ass for wasting valuable slurpee. Try and let us know. Have friend film it if possible.
 

SC MMA MD

TMMAC Addict
Jan 20, 2015
5,715
10,841
Thought that was a RATM song
Everything on the RAGE album was a remake. I never heard the Cypress Hill version until a few years ago and argued vehemently that it was a remake until the other guy made me look like an idiot via his smartphone. Stupid Google- I miss the days when you could be wrong and still win an argument by strength if conviction. The RATM version is still better, and don't even get me started on Pistol Grip Pump...
 

Mix6APlix

The more you cry, the less I care.
Oct 20, 2015
12,918
13,449
Your eyes glowing fiery red was a giveaway.
Well, I didn't see a reflection, because I don't cast one unless I concentrate. Her look of terror may have been because she realized Niagara Falls just opened up between her legs when she made contact with my beautiful steely blue eyes and she realized that she had made a horrific mistake by letting someone who wasn't me pump not 1, not 2, but 3 kids into her.
 

Freeloading Rusty

Here comes Rover, sniffin’ at your ass
Jan 11, 2016
26,916
26,743
First, let me establish one indisputable fact: Slurpees are the best frozen beverage in the history of mankind. I don't want to hear any shit about Slushies or ICEEs or shitty ass snow cones. Hello, it's Slurpees, and you lose.

Two things.

First, you're wrong about the slurpee being the best frozen beverage. Screamers are the best frozen beverage in history. Screamers > Slurpees.


Second, I have to ask, where your wrists taped at the time or where your hairless wrists exposed while this all went down?
 

Mix6APlix

The more you cry, the less I care.
Oct 20, 2015
12,918
13,449
Shouldn't trip Khalib's trigger. Maybe make him a rainbow slurpee as a peaceful gesture. Maybe he put jihad on your ass for wasting valuable slurpee. Try and let us know. Have friend film it if possible.
Sadly, the nails i, or I mean someone who isn't me, stuck into his wheels caused a slight accident. Tough shit for him, as I hear he enjoyed walking.
 

Yossarian

TMMAC Addict
Oct 25, 2015
13,489
19,127
Everything on the RAGE album was a remake. I never heard the Cypress Hill version until a few years ago and argued vehemently that it was a remake until the other guy made me look like an idiot via his smartphone. Stupid Google- I miss the days when you could be wrong and still win an argument by strength if conviction. The RATM version is still better, and don't even get me started on Pistol Grip Pump...
The Dylan song (Maggies Farm) didn't give it away? :)
 

Hauler

Been fallin so long it's like gravitys gone
Feb 3, 2016
45,412
57,814
Everything on the RAGE album was a remake. I never heard the Cypress Hill version until a few years ago and argued vehemently that it was a remake until the other guy made me look like an idiot via his smartphone. Stupid Google- I miss the days when you could be wrong and still win an argument by strength if conviction. The RATM version is still better, and don't even get me started on Pistol Grip Pump...
Didn't know that. Never really listened to Cypress Hill so RATM is the only version I know. Had no idea it was a cover. Interesting.
 

Mix6APlix

The more you cry, the less I care.
Oct 20, 2015
12,918
13,449
He will in heaven, he is a man of god now!!
I speak from experience here. For all the dumb shit that he got busted for, how much shit do you think he got away with?
 

Mix6APlix

The more you cry, the less I care.
Oct 20, 2015
12,918
13,449
Two things.

First, you're wrong about the slurpee being the best frozen beverage. Screamers are the best frozen beverage in history. Screamers > Slurpees.


Second, I have to ask, where your wrists taped at the time or where your hairless wrists exposed while this all went down?
Where does one find these?