First, let me establish one indisputable fact: Slurpees are the best frozen beverage in the history of mankind. I don't want to hear any shit about Slushies or ICEEs or shitty ass snow cones. Hello, it's Slurpees, and you lose.
A lot of people just pour their Slurpee into a cup, people that do shouldn't breed. When I was with the chick who gave me my Rottie, I could show up with a layered tye dyed Slurpee and it was better than a dozen roses.
I still make my tye dyed Slurpees in the largest clear plastic cups they have.
So, after finding out that my booze store was getting fucked over by the greek cocksucker not renewing their lease, I needed something to cheer me up. A killer Slurpee might do the trick, so I head over to 7-11.
Leonardo DaVinci or Michaelangelo could tell you, pouring the perfect tye dyed Slurpee is a fucking art form. If you fuck up any step along the way, the whole thing is ruined. Biggest mistake in doing so, is hitting the nozzle on one of their 12 flavors without letting a little bit pour out before hand, as that ruins the uniformity of the frozen iciness, thereby disrupting the beauty of the picture you are painting in that plastic cup.
So as I am standing there, letting some of the Slurpee pour out so I can get the consistency I need, Apu or whatever the fuck his name was tells me 'Dont pour the the Slurpee unless it's in the cup'. Now I am not in the mood, I'm here to make myself happier, not have some fucking guy who is probably here illegally while funneling money back to wherethefuckeveristan so they can attack the US or other cities. Not that I care about the other cities, but still.
I turn toward him, judging by the woman and her 3 children that just entered, I think my eyes were glowing fiery red when I said 'Fucking charge me for 2 then, I'm making a masterpiece!'
I then apologized to the woman. 'Sorry, didn't know there were children here'
She still looked horrified.
I paid for two Slurpees, but only had one. It was glorious and made my sad day a little bit, shit, quite a bit happier. I fucking love Slurpees.
A lot of people just pour their Slurpee into a cup, people that do shouldn't breed. When I was with the chick who gave me my Rottie, I could show up with a layered tye dyed Slurpee and it was better than a dozen roses.
I still make my tye dyed Slurpees in the largest clear plastic cups they have.
So, after finding out that my booze store was getting fucked over by the greek cocksucker not renewing their lease, I needed something to cheer me up. A killer Slurpee might do the trick, so I head over to 7-11.
Leonardo DaVinci or Michaelangelo could tell you, pouring the perfect tye dyed Slurpee is a fucking art form. If you fuck up any step along the way, the whole thing is ruined. Biggest mistake in doing so, is hitting the nozzle on one of their 12 flavors without letting a little bit pour out before hand, as that ruins the uniformity of the frozen iciness, thereby disrupting the beauty of the picture you are painting in that plastic cup.
So as I am standing there, letting some of the Slurpee pour out so I can get the consistency I need, Apu or whatever the fuck his name was tells me 'Dont pour the the Slurpee unless it's in the cup'. Now I am not in the mood, I'm here to make myself happier, not have some fucking guy who is probably here illegally while funneling money back to wherethefuckeveristan so they can attack the US or other cities. Not that I care about the other cities, but still.
I turn toward him, judging by the woman and her 3 children that just entered, I think my eyes were glowing fiery red when I said 'Fucking charge me for 2 then, I'm making a masterpiece!'
I then apologized to the woman. 'Sorry, didn't know there were children here'
She still looked horrified.
I paid for two Slurpees, but only had one. It was glorious and made my sad day a little bit, shit, quite a bit happier. I fucking love Slurpees.