General Best of luck with your balls, @thefifthscallop

[Sex Chicken]

It’s with a heavy heart that I post this. Last night the Seattle Kraken scored a historic first home goal and in the excitement @TheFifthScallop jumped up off the couch and tore the stitches from his surgery. His testicles fell on to the floor and his dog ate them.

Apparently he’s feeling pretty down about it and any encouraging messages you could send him would be greatly appreciated.

 

[SongExotic2]

It’s with a heavy heart that I post this. Last night the Seattle Kraken scored a historic first home goal and in the excitement @TheFifthScallop jumped up off the couch and tore the stitches from his surgery. His testicles fell on to the floor and his dog ate them.

Apparently he’s feeling pretty down about it and any encouraging messages you could send him would be greatly appreciated.

His dog told me they tasted "ruff"

 

[Speaker to Animals]

It’s with a heavy heart that I post this. Last night the Seattle Kraken scored a historic first home goal and in the excitement @TheFifthScallop jumped up off the couch and tore the stitches from his surgery. His testicles fell on to the floor and his dog ate them.

Apparently he’s feeling pretty down about it and any encouraging messages you could send him would be greatly appreciated.

@TheFifthScallop
Eunuchs can live long, fulfilling lives.
Just not sexually.

 

[TheFifthScallop]

It’s with a heavy heart that I post this. Last night the Seattle Kraken scored a historic first home goal and in the excitement @TheFifthScallop jumped up off the couch and tore the stitches from his surgery. His testicles fell on to the floor and his dog ate them.

Apparently he’s feeling pretty down about it and any encouraging messages you could send him would be greatly appreciated.

I did in fact jump up when Dunn scored, and made myself extra uncomfortable.

 

[Rambo John J]

Hope that thing still works

It's a beaut