General Can someone here teach me Bjj and Pay me?

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Enock-O-Lypse Now!

God is great - Jesus is my Savior.
Jun 19, 2016
10,028
17,427
I'm a hard worker and I'm willing to put in the time and work to become the best BJJ practitioner on this forum but I need a good teacher and one that will pay me for my time.

I'm very dedicated and would like to train BJJ in the morning around 11am and another class around 5pm.

6pm I plan on going to Applebees to grab a couple tall bud lights and some hot boneless wings, then I'd to go to the liquor store and pick up a 12 pack of budlight before going out to the bars to get shit faced.

I'll be ready to roll in the mornings at 11am again though.


Please, if you have a heart and care about your fellow TMMAC posters ...teach me BJJ and Pay me as well so I can get drunk every night of the week and eventually win the Eddie Bravo Invitational.


Thank you in advance!

Love,

Conspiratard Numero Uno
 

Truck Party

TMMAC Addict
Mar 16, 2017
5,711
6,850
I'm a hard worker and I'm willing to put in the time and work to become the best BJJ practitioner on this forum but I need a good teacher and one that will pay me for my time.

I'm very dedicated and would like to train BJJ in the morning around 11am and another class around 5pm.

6pm I plan on going to Applebees to grab a couple tall bud lights and some hot boneless wings, then I'd to go to the liquor store and pick up a 12 pack of budlight before going out to the bars to get shit faced.

I'll be ready to roll in the mornings at 11am again though.


Please, if you have a heart and care about your fellow TMMAC posters ...teach me BJJ and Pay me as well so I can get drunk every night of the week and eventually win the Eddie Bravo Invitational.


Thank you in advance!

Love,

Conspiratard Numero Uno
can't teach you BJJ, but what are your training expenses? we can get a gofundme thing started
 

SC MMA MD

TMMAC Addict
Jan 20, 2015
5,581
10,533
Just start a go fund me. I see a few of those almost every week from some whitebelt who just knows they are the next big thing in BJJ- they just need $$$ to go to Brazil/enter Worlds/go to Abu Dhabi. If you are a female and post a few videos of yourself drilling sloppy techniques while wearing revealing clothes it will help your cause a lot.

@Rhino, Filthy @Filthy, SAJ @SAJ and Darqnezz @Darqnezz should be able to add some advice as well
 

Truck Party

TMMAC Addict
Mar 16, 2017
5,711
6,850
Jergens is pretty good but if I want to become the best ..I will need the best equipment...lets go with this:

it's a good start, but I honestly think you're sabotaging yourself if you go with that lotion. I like to go with a 70/20/10 split of aloe/cocoa butter/baby oil that I think would soothe your skin much better. it also helps to make your arms look shiny if women are watching, you should look into it
 

Enock-O-Lypse Now!

God is great - Jesus is my Savior.
Jun 19, 2016
10,028
17,427
Just start a go fund me. I see a few of those almost every week from some whitebelt who just knows they are the next big thing in BJJ- they just need $$$ to go to Brazil/enter Worlds/go to Abu Dhabi. If you are a female and post a few videos of yourself drilling sloppy techniques while wearing revealing clothes it will help your cause a lot.

@Rhino, Filthy @Filthy, SAJ @SAJ and Darqnezz @Darqnezz should be able to add some advice as well
I'm absolutely positive I will be the next big thing and wouldn't mind some insight from Rhino, Filthy, SAJ, and Darqnezz ...

But maybe I could just watch a lot of DVD's..right? ....it worked for James Thompson in MMA

I was thinking about going with this DVD to become the next Marcelo Garcia:

 

SC MMA MD

TMMAC Addict
Jan 20, 2015
5,581
10,533
There are tons of guys on here with lots of experience grabbing some lotion and then watching some DVD’s; you should get lots of good advice here.
 

Willthiswork

I'd rather have 4 quarters than 100 pennies.
Aug 7, 2015
30,787
51,345
Why the hell should it matter? We're trying to figure out proper lotion to make men's skin silky smooth. Do you prefer something store bought or do you prefer to mix your own potion?
I get that high grade stuff they use in hospitals.
 

ConorMcGregorNutHugger

Killing Babies and Making Men Ladies
Oct 17, 2015
43,131
56,078
can you break it down or are you still ashy? dry skin is a plague on our society, it itches
Okay so first I go and get a nice 5 gallon (18.9 litre) pail and lid. I need this to last a few weeks.

I then gather the following ingredients:
1 litre of extra virgin olive oil.
1 industrial tub of Vaseline.
2 bottles of jergens.
1 bottle of Johnson & Johnson hand cream
1 bottle of Franks Hoy Sauce Xtra Hot
And finally a vial of tears from a small child (I usually give my small niece the people's elbow).

I combine all of that into the five gallon pail and mix it with a paint stirring drill attachment for half an hour.
 

Enock-O-Lypse Now!

God is great - Jesus is my Savior.
Jun 19, 2016
10,028
17,427
can you break it down or are you still ashy? dry skin is a plague on our society, it itches
When its cold outside its recommended you apply a little more then usual due to the cooler temperature. In winter it tends to be a bit more colder then what we are use to during the summer when its a bit more hotter.

Little F.Y.I that may help
 

Truck Party

TMMAC Addict
Mar 16, 2017
5,711
6,850
Okay so first I go and get a nice 5 gallon (18.9 litre) pail and lid. I need this to last a few weeks.

I then gather the following ingredients:
1 litre of extra virgin olive oil.
1 industrial tub of Vaseline.
2 bottles of jergens.
1 bottle of Johnson & Johnson hand cream
1 bottle of Franks Hoy Sauce Xtra Hot
And finally a vial of tears from a small child (I usually give my small niece the people's elbow).

I combine all of that into the five gallon pail and mix it with a paint stirring drill attachment for half an hour.
now we're talking. do you find the hot sauce to add any tingly feeling to your skin or do you like to freelance it?