I'm watching my nieces, 3 and 5 for the night while my sister and bro-lo are having date night. So we start with me and the 5 year old playing UNO, and I devastate her. We then have an orange peeling contest, because I like oranges and needed some food, goal, 1 orange 1 peel or you lose.
The 5 year old was not pleased as she reads well.
Then I destroyed her in Battleship. I could see the placement of her boats off the reflections off of her cornea. It wasn't a fair game at all. After my victorious battle roar, she cried and locked herself in the spare bedroom where she sleeps. I told her through the door that she needed to toughen up and get better, and that life isn't always fair, but she wouldn't come out.
So instead of babying her, I went to shoot another round of Golden Tee and have a drink or 3. Teach her to grow up a little, like any good uncle should. I shoot yet another bogey free round, (edit 154 holes and counting) albeit only -15, and sit to finish my beer. Then this pretty young lady sits down a few chairs over, she's alone, and she's drinking vodka and cranberries. I check her out a couple times, BUT THEN I SEE IT! Just over her thumb on her right hand, I SEE IT. It's undeniable. I lean over and ask "Excuse me, is that a Murloc tattoo on your hand". And of course it was. So I take a seat next to her, and we start talking WoW nerd shit. About which titles we got, I think I had her when I chronicled my way to The Insane title. We were lost in each other's eyes, not even drinking anymore, while we just talked about the World of Warcraft.
Then she shows me her tramp stamp. Not a butterfly, or a bird, or some asian shit, but the map of Azeroth. It was one of the hottest things I have ever seen, and I tell her so, and we continue our conversation. But then she slips. Even though she thought my cow pun names were funny, Moohamed, Moopoo, Cowabunghole, Chuckmooris, she then tells me that she played Alliance, and I knew it could never be, much like I could never be with Alyssa Milanno for the unforgivable sin of being a Dodger's fan.
As Brad Pitt once said: "This conversation - is over." Paid my tab, I think, and left.
I get back home and use a screwdriver to open the door on the bedroom, and the 5 year old is sleeping soundly. No idea where the 3 year old is. I should probably find her before tomorrow or my sister will be pissed.
The 5 year old was not pleased as she reads well.
Then I destroyed her in Battleship. I could see the placement of her boats off the reflections off of her cornea. It wasn't a fair game at all. After my victorious battle roar, she cried and locked herself in the spare bedroom where she sleeps. I told her through the door that she needed to toughen up and get better, and that life isn't always fair, but she wouldn't come out.
So instead of babying her, I went to shoot another round of Golden Tee and have a drink or 3. Teach her to grow up a little, like any good uncle should. I shoot yet another bogey free round, (edit 154 holes and counting) albeit only -15, and sit to finish my beer. Then this pretty young lady sits down a few chairs over, she's alone, and she's drinking vodka and cranberries. I check her out a couple times, BUT THEN I SEE IT! Just over her thumb on her right hand, I SEE IT. It's undeniable. I lean over and ask "Excuse me, is that a Murloc tattoo on your hand". And of course it was. So I take a seat next to her, and we start talking WoW nerd shit. About which titles we got, I think I had her when I chronicled my way to The Insane title. We were lost in each other's eyes, not even drinking anymore, while we just talked about the World of Warcraft.
Then she shows me her tramp stamp. Not a butterfly, or a bird, or some asian shit, but the map of Azeroth. It was one of the hottest things I have ever seen, and I tell her so, and we continue our conversation. But then she slips. Even though she thought my cow pun names were funny, Moohamed, Moopoo, Cowabunghole, Chuckmooris, she then tells me that she played Alliance, and I knew it could never be, much like I could never be with Alyssa Milanno for the unforgivable sin of being a Dodger's fan.
As Brad Pitt once said: "This conversation - is over." Paid my tab, I think, and left.
I get back home and use a screwdriver to open the door on the bedroom, and the 5 year old is sleeping soundly. No idea where the 3 year old is. I should probably find her before tomorrow or my sister will be pissed.
