Lifestyle Do you interrupt people when you speak?

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kneeblock

kneeblock

Drapetomaniac
Apr 18, 2015
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gangsterkathryn said:
I saw this thread earlier and was going to come back to it when I had a few moments,

Growing up, I really struggled with keeping myself from interrupting others when they spoke to interject with my own input. It is not that I intended to be rude, it's that I wanted to share how I could relate and show I was actively listening. Since I grew up speaking this way, I continued to do so when I started having more adult-adjacent conversations as an older kid. People told me I was incredibly rude and I should learn better manners. I quickly adjusted to reign myself in outside of my family and close friendships. One of the few times since that I really interrupted someone was in September. I was defending myself after my former boss decided to berate and belittle me after the execution of a project did not go smoothly. He previously stated I did not need to be involved in the project because I had "too much else to do", but when it came time for the execution, suddenly it was entirely on my shoulders and the people that actually worked on it were not the one's responsible - something that was never conveyed to me. When I interrupted his screaming fit, I was told to "shut up". This was the first time in my career that someone other than a customer had spoken to me in such an unprofessional manner, and it was the first time that I had gotten his fucknut wrath, usually reserved for useless employees and his sister. I wound up walking out two weeks later because of that interaction, the tension since, and another incident that was "the last straw." (So glad I stopped working 75 hour, seven day work weeks for that buffoon.)

But, I actually recently learned about cooperative overlapping. Here is a great article about the linguistics behind it. It is heavily prevalent within the Jewish community. It was so enlightening (and comforting) to learn that there is a reason for the way I interact in conversations, rather than just that I am a rude individual. I don't really have to interact with many people outside of my family and the four employees at my new job (two are literally my family and there are only two others, plus I work remotely in a different state), but I do feel more at ease with my conversational habits.



I know I wrote this more professionally than I would normally, but I am practicing for all the papers I have to write this semester because I haven't written any in ages.
But to answer the question, I do interrupt when I am speaking, depending upon the other party/parties in the conversation. I fucking hate, with a passion, though, when my mother interrupts me to interject her stupid fucking suggestions of what I "should" do, especially when if she would let me finish, she would hear I AM ALREADY FUCKING DOING EXACTLY THAT. Sorry, I am really annoyed with her so I am being a cunt.
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Good on you for getting out of that job. As a sometime prof, I can vouch that you'll do fine in the classes. Good luck!
 
John Lee Pettimore

John Lee Pettimore

Further south than you
May 18, 2021
6,302
6,762
gangsterkathryn said:
I saw this thread earlier and was going to come back to it when I had a few moments,

Growing up, I really struggled with keeping myself from interrupting others when they spoke to interject with my own input. It is not that I intended to be rude, it's that I wanted to share how I could relate and show I was actively listening. Since I grew up speaking this way, I continued to do so when I started having more adult-adjacent conversations as an older kid. People told me I was incredibly rude and I should learn better manners. I quickly adjusted to reign myself in outside of my family and close friendships. One of the few times since that I really interrupted someone was in September. I was defending myself after my former boss decided to berate and belittle me after the execution of a project did not go smoothly. He previously stated I did not need to be involved in the project because I had "too much else to do", but when it came time for the execution, suddenly it was entirely on my shoulders and the people that actually worked on it were not the one's responsible - something that was never conveyed to me. When I interrupted his screaming fit, I was told to "shut up". This was the first time in my career that someone other than a customer had spoken to me in such an unprofessional manner, and it was the first time that I had gotten his fucknut wrath, usually reserved for useless employees and his sister. I wound up walking out two weeks later because of that interaction, the tension since, and another incident that was "the last straw." (So glad I stopped working 75 hour, seven day work weeks for that buffoon.)

But, I actually recently learned about cooperative overlapping. Here is a great article about the linguistics behind it. It is heavily prevalent within the Jewish community. It was so enlightening (and comforting) to learn that there is a reason for the way I interact in conversations, rather than just that I am a rude individual. I don't really have to interact with many people outside of my family and the four employees at my new job (two are literally my family and there are only two others, plus I work remotely in a different state), but I do feel more at ease with my conversational habits.



I know I wrote this more professionally than I would normally, but I am practicing for all the papers I have to write this semester because I haven't written any in ages.
But to answer the question, I do interrupt when I am speaking, depending upon the other party/parties in the conversation. I fucking hate, with a passion, though, when my mother interrupts me to interject her stupid fucking suggestions of what I "should" do, especially when if she would let me finish, she would hear I AM ALREADY FUCKING DOING EXACTLY THAT. Sorry, I am really annoyed with her so I am being a cunt.
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75 hour weeks? Seven hour days? Man, it's insane how you guys are for routinely getting exploited with that sort of shit. I work a 37.5 hour week and get paid for 40, and that's pretty normal here. I never work more than 45 hours, ever.

??
 
Tiiimmmaaayyy

Tiiimmmaaayyy

First 100 ish
Jan 19, 2015
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I hate getting interrupted. It pisses me off way more than it probably should. People may not do it on purpose, but It's really disrespectful. Wait your fucking turn you animals.
 
gangsterkathryn

gangsterkathryn

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Oct 20, 2015
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kneeblock said:
Good on you for getting out of that job. As a sometime prof, I can vouch that you'll do fine in the classes. Good luck!
Click to expand...
Thank you! I already had a mild panic because I had to write a 300-word learning reflection about reading strategies for English Comp and I could not for the life of me cut it down from the 450 words I landed on. I wound up with 370 words by cutting out some parts that I deemed were mildly redundant and reworded so much. Definitely thought I was going to get points deducted for being "too wordy" but he said I did excellently and brought up really great points. I have been kicked for being too wordy before, so I am glad he isn't one of those professors. He seems pretty cool.


John Lee Pettimore said:
75 hour weeks? Seven hour days? Man, it's insane how you guys are for routinely getting exploited with that sort of shit. I work a 37.5 hour week and get paid for 40, and that's pretty normal here. I never work more than 45 hours, ever.

??
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I was doing 12 hours a day Mon-Sat and then working from home a few hours on Sunday. It was initially Mon-Sat 8-530, then it became 8-6. I leave myself plenty of time to make it to work because traffic and accidents happen often, so I was regularly 30ish mins early. I would use that time to get stuff done before the phone started ringing for ten hours straight, so I often wound up working 730-730. I had so many different tasks that were difficult to do in the three minutes I had between customer calls, and often I was unable to delegate to my team as two were in the Philippines, one worked four hours, three days a week (if she even showed), and the other was stuck being my boss' bitch (until he fired her for... standing up for herself, granted she was kind of a lazy cunt anyway). When I did delegate, I often had to make significant corrections to the information. I was doing the job of at least two people, for hardly the pay of one. I wound up sticking them with a huge clusterfuck that could have easily been solved if my boss put his stupid ego aside, but he made it clear he refused to make the call. I think he wanted me to make it and fuck it up so he could feel justified in firing me.

I am now working ~30-35 hours a week, roughly. I make a little less, but I can breathe, focus on school, and actually have time to spend with my son outside of bedtime; plus, the hours are flexible and there is so much professional development. I know that once I can handle more complex tasks that don't require a licensed environmental professional or geologist to complete, I will be able to make more money.

Plus, when I go on vacation, I can mooch so much free food from my boss... like I always do.
 
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BrunoMcGyver

BrunoMcGyver

Bruno no dey carry last
Dec 30, 2015
6,397
10,266
Used to interrupt so much. Last year or two I've really tried to work on it. I still do it occassionally, but I think Im nowhere near as bad as I used to be.
 
Shinkicker

Shinkicker

For what it's worth
Jan 30, 2016
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kneeblock said:
How about you gangsterkathryn @gangsterkathryn nuraknu @nuraknu Shinkicker @Shinkicker? Interested in both your sense of being interrupted and your own proclivities.
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I try not to interrupt when someone is talking. However, when I do it's usually because they take 30 mins to tell a 2 min story.

I try to keep my conversation short and to the point at work. I'm most often the listerner. But if I do get interrupted then I mentally reevaluate if it even needs to be said. I rarely get upset about it. If they need to talk more than me, I'm usually happy to listen.
 
nuraknu

nuraknu

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Jul 20, 2016
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I think I am similar to gangsterkathryn @gangsterkathryn except maybe to a lesser extreme. But it is some kind of cultural/ familial thing that I have to be conscious of because I have screwed up in work meetings before - not so bad that anyone said anything, but I knew.

I also enjoy "cooperative overlapping". But sometimes the other person just wants me to shut up. I definitely get it from my mother.

But, then there is the flip side. The people who go on and on, and who just keep talking over someone who tries to interject as a participant in a conversation... like my boss who doesn't even want anyone to say "ok" or acknowledge you heard him; he just wants to talk at you for an hour like he's a great orator with tons of knowledge to bestow...(he's not, I am assigned things that are over his head, let's not get into it).

*edit - I am also better at staying quiet now
 
M

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Guest
nuraknu said:
I think I am similar to gangsterkathryn @gangsterkathryn except maybe to a lesser extreme. But it is some kind of cultural/ familial thing that I have to be conscious of because I have screwed up in work meetings before - not so bad that anyone said anything, but I knew.

I also enjoy "cooperative overlapping". But sometimes the other person just wants me to shut up. I definitely get it from my mother.

But, then there is the flip side. The people who go on and on, and who just keep talking over someone who tries to interject as a participant in a conversation... like my boss who doesn't even want anyone to say "ok" or acknowledge you heard him; he just wants to talk at you for an hour like he's a great orator with tons of knowledge to bestow...(he's not, I am assigned things that are over his head, let's not get into it).
Click to expand...
Do you work for me?
 
gangsterkathryn

gangsterkathryn

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Oct 20, 2015
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nuraknu said:
I think I am similar to gangsterkathryn @gangsterkathryn except maybe to a lesser extreme. But it is some kind of cultural/ familial thing that I have to be conscious of because I have screwed up in work meetings before - not so bad that anyone said anything, but I knew.

I also enjoy "cooperative overlapping". But sometimes the other person just wants me to shut up. I definitely get it from my mother.

But, then there is the flip side. The people who go on and on, and who just keep talking over someone who tries to interject as a participant in a conversation... like my boss who doesn't even want anyone to say "ok" or acknowledge you heard him; he just wants to talk at you for an hour like he's a great orator with tons of knowledge to bestow...(he's not, I am assigned things that are over his head, let's not get into it).

*edit - I am also better at staying quiet now
Click to expand...
Did you get a side glance like "is she for real?" and then you think to yourself "oh, damn. I did it, again." Mothers pass on the best things. My son is definitely a cooperative overlapper. I can hear it when he's playing games with his friends and they're all screaming at that same time, but somehow coordinating their attack without a hitch.


I am guilty of having done it to customers at Office Depot when they're just going on about nonsense, I push the conversation but I might not wait for them to stop talking... In my head, I scream "just tell me how many copies you want, there are like seven people watching you blabber." It's always another babbling person that complains about the first blabberer. It must be cyclical.
 
kneeblock

kneeblock

Drapetomaniac
Apr 18, 2015
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Something I realized reading the answers is that this question is pretty corrupted by sample bias. I mean, of course a bunch of people who get together with randos to make lifelong e-friends (and enemies) to chat about whatever comes to mind love to talk!
 
tang

tang

top korean roofer
Oct 21, 2015
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i c;ut people off all the time but it's because I just thought about the perfect response and I was afraid I was going to forget it and would pop up later when everyone else already moved on to a different subject.
 
SongExotic2

SongExotic2

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All the time. I'm like,




Then I realize I'm being a bit rude and insist they carry on, but I've wounded thier ego by now and they get all butthurt and don't want to. So I just glare at them until they weep.
 
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