Cliffs?SPLINTY
Seven years at club liv. In
the kitchen for three. McDonald's before that.
CMNH
Yeah.
SPLINTY
Was McDonald's tough as they say?
CHNM
You looking to become a
prep cook?
SPLINTY
You looking to go back? I chased
some trolls, the guys were lookin'
to fuck up and get busted back.
CMNH
You must have worked some dipshit
trolls.
SPLINTY
I worked all kinds.
CMNH
(pause)
You see me doing thrill-seeker
threads with a "Born
to post good content" tattoo on my chest?
SPLINTY
No, I do not.
CMNH
Right. And I...
(low threat)
I am never going back.
SPLINTY
Then don't troll.
CMNH
I do what I do best. I troll. You do what you do best
trying to stop guys like me.
(shrugs)
SPLINTY
You never wanted a normal-type
life?
CMNH
What the fuck is that? Good posting, barbecues and ballgames?
SPLINTY
That's part of it.
CMNH
That's nice. That your life?
SPLINTY
No. I spend half my
time in the yacht. My
co-owner's got problems 'cause
his real job is a world class
asshole. And every moment I
got, I'm chasing guys like you.
CMNH
A man told me once: you want to
make good posts?
Don't post anything
you're not willing
to delete in 30 seconds
flat if you feel the heat around
the corner.
(pause)
So if you're pinking me and you
gotta move when I move, how do
you expect to... run a website?
SPLINTY
What are you, a master troll?
CMNH
Yes.
(pause)
I got a "woman".
SPLINTY
What do you tell her?
CMNH
She thinks I sell swimming pools.
SPLINTY
And if you spot me in off-topic.
You gonna walk out on TMMAC?
Leave it flat? Like that?
Not even say goodbye?
CMNH
That's the discipline.
SPLINTY
What you're left with is pretty
empty.
CMNH
Yeah?
(beat)
Then maybe you and me, we should
both go do somethin' else, pal.
SPLINTY
I don't know how to do anything
else. Just yacht, Trump, program, IT work, bang chicks, yell at my co-owner, teach him how to vote, wonder wtf Birdwatcher is ACTUALLY doing, give vaccines, make bank and pink trolls.
CMNH
(the trolling admission)
...neither do I.
SPLINTY
And I don't much want to.
CMNH
Neither do I.
*Both of these guys look at each other and recognize the
mutuality of their condition* SPLINTY's light laughter...
SPLINTY
We're sitting here like a coupla
regular fellas. You do what you
do. I do what I gotta do. What
happens if I am there and I got
to ban you?
(pause)
I'll like it. But, if it's
between you and some new member
whose thread you're going to make
into a shitfest , brother, you are
gonna go down. 'Cause you don't
have to be there. You coulda
gone and been a... a prep cook.
CMNH
There's a flip side to that coin.
What if you got me boxed in and
I gotta create multiple accounts?
(beat)
'Cause no matter what, you will
not get in my club.
(beat)
But now that we been face to
face, I would not feel good about
that. But I won't hesitate.
Not for one second.
SPLINTY
(smiles)
Maybe it'll happen that way. Or
who knows ...
CMNH
...maybe we'll never see each
other again.
SPLINTY
Preferable.
Bravo sir.SPLINTY
Seven years at club liv. In
the kitchen for three. McDonald's before that.
CMNH
Yeah.
SPLINTY
Was McDonald's tough as they say?
CHNM
You looking to become a
prep cook?
SPLINTY
You looking to go back? I chased
some trolls, the guys were lookin'
to fuck up and get busted back.
CMNH
You must have worked some dipshit
trolls.
SPLINTY
I worked all kinds.
CMNH
(pause)
You see me doing thrill-seeker
threads with a "Born
to post good content" tattoo on my chest?
SPLINTY
No, I do not.
CMNH
Right. And I...
(low threat)
I am never going back.
SPLINTY
Then don't troll.
CMNH
I do what I do best. I troll. You do what you do best
trying to stop guys like me.
(shrugs)
SPLINTY
You never wanted a normal-type
life?
CMNH
What the fuck is that? Good posting, barbecues and ballgames?
SPLINTY
That's part of it.
CMNH
That's nice. That your life?
SPLINTY
No. I spend half my
time in the yacht. My
co-owner's got problems 'cause
his real job is a world class
asshole. And every moment I
got, I'm chasing guys like you.
CMNH
A man told me once: you want to
make good posts?
Don't post anything
you're not willing
to delete in 30 seconds
flat if you feel the heat around
the corner.
(pause)
So if you're pinking me and you
gotta move when I move, how do
you expect to... run a website?
SPLINTY
What are you, a master troll?
CMNH
Yes.
(pause)
I got a "woman".
SPLINTY
What do you tell her?
CMNH
She thinks I sell swimming pools.
SPLINTY
And if you spot me in off-topic.
You gonna walk out on TMMAC?
Leave it flat? Like that?
Not even say goodbye?
CMNH
That's the discipline.
SPLINTY
What you're left with is pretty
empty.
CMNH
Yeah?
(beat)
Then maybe you and me, we should
both go do somethin' else, pal.
SPLINTY
I don't know how to do anything
else. Just yacht, Trump, program, IT work, bang chicks, yell at my co-owner, teach him how to vote, wonder wtf Birdwatcher is ACTUALLY doing, give vaccines, make bank and pink trolls.
CMNH
(the trolling admission)
...neither do I.
SPLINTY
And I don't much want to.
CMNH
Neither do I.
*Both of these guys look at each other and recognize the
mutuality of their condition* SPLINTY's light laughter...
SPLINTY
We're sitting here like a coupla
regular fellas. You do what you
do. I do what I gotta do. What
happens if I am there and I got
to ban you?
(pause)
I'll like it. But, if it's
between you and some new member
whose thread you're going to make
into a shitfest , brother, you are
gonna go down. 'Cause you don't
have to be there. You coulda
gone and been a... a prep cook.
CMNH
There's a flip side to that coin.
What if you got me boxed in and
I gotta create multiple accounts?
(beat)
'Cause no matter what, you will
not get in my club.
(beat)
But now that we been face to
face, I would not feel good about
that. But I won't hesitate.
Not for one second.
SPLINTY
(smiles)
Maybe it'll happen that way. Or
who knows ...
CMNH
...maybe we'll never see each
other again.
SPLINTY
Preferable.
SPLINTY
Seven years at club liv. In
the kitchen for three. McDonald's before that.
CMNH
Yeah.
SPLINTY
Was McDonald's tough as they say?
CHNM
You looking to become a
prep cook?
SPLINTY
You looking to go back? I chased
some trolls, the guys were lookin'
to fuck up and get busted back.
CMNH
You must have worked some dipshit
trolls.
SPLINTY
I worked all kinds.
CMNH
(pause)
You see me doing thrill-seeker
threads with a "Born
to post good content" tattoo on my chest?
SPLINTY
No, I do not.
CMNH
Right. And I...
(low threat)
I am never going back.
SPLINTY
Then don't troll.
CMNH
I do what I do best. I troll. You do what you do best
trying to stop guys like me.
(shrugs)
SPLINTY
You never wanted a normal-type
life?
CMNH
What the fuck is that? Good posting, barbecues and ballgames?
SPLINTY
That's part of it.
CMNH
That's nice. That your life?
SPLINTY
No. I spend half my
time in the yacht. My
co-owner's got problems 'cause
his real job is a world class
asshole. And every moment I
got, I'm chasing guys like you.
CMNH
A man told me once: you want to
make good posts?
Don't post anything
you're not willing
to delete in 30 seconds
flat if you feel the heat around
the corner.
(pause)
So if you're pinking me and you
gotta move when I move, how do
you expect to... run a website?
SPLINTY
What are you, a master troll?
CMNH
Yes.
(pause)
I got a "woman".
SPLINTY
What do you tell her?
CMNH
She thinks I sell swimming pools.
SPLINTY
And if you spot me in off-topic.
You gonna walk out on TMMAC?
Leave it flat? Like that?
Not even say goodbye?
CMNH
That's the discipline.
SPLINTY
What you're left with is pretty
empty.
CMNH
Yeah?
(beat)
Then maybe you and me, we should
both go do somethin' else, pal.
SPLINTY
I don't know how to do anything
else. Just yacht, Trump, program, IT work, bang chicks, yell at my co-owner, teach him how to vote, wonder wtf Birdwatcher is ACTUALLY doing, give vaccines, make bank and pink trolls.
CMNH
(the trolling admission)
...neither do I.
SPLINTY
And I don't much want to.
CMNH
Neither do I.
*Both of these guys look at each other and recognize the
mutuality of their condition* SPLINTY's light laughter...
SPLINTY
We're sitting here like a coupla
regular fellas. You do what you
do. I do what I gotta do. What
happens if I am there and I got
to ban you?
(pause)
I'll like it. But, if it's
between you and some new member
whose thread you're going to make
into a shitfest , brother, you are
gonna go down. 'Cause you don't
have to be there. You coulda
gone and been a... a prep cook.
CMNH
There's a flip side to that coin.
What if you got me boxed in and
I gotta create multiple accounts?
(beat)
'Cause no matter what, you will
not get in my club.
(beat)
But now that we been face to
face, I would not feel good about
that. But I won't hesitate.
Not for one second.
SPLINTY
(smiles)
Maybe it'll happen that way. Or
who knows ...
CMNH
...maybe we'll never see each
other again.
SPLINTY
Preferable.
SPLINTY
Seven years at club liv. In
the kitchen for three. McDonald's before that.
CMNH
Yeah.
SPLINTY
Was McDonald's tough as they say?
CHNM
You looking to become a
prep cook?
SPLINTY
You looking to go back? I chased
some trolls, the guys were lookin'
to fuck up and get busted back.
CMNH
You must have worked some dipshit
trolls.
SPLINTY
I worked all kinds.
CMNH
(pause)
You see me doing thrill-seeker
threads with a "Born
to post good content" tattoo on my chest?
SPLINTY
No, I do not.
CMNH
Right. And I...
(low threat)
I am never going back.
SPLINTY
Then don't troll.
CMNH
I do what I do best. I troll. You do what you do best
trying to stop guys like me.
(shrugs)
SPLINTY
You never wanted a normal-type
life?
CMNH
What the fuck is that? Good posting, barbecues and ballgames?
SPLINTY
That's part of it.
CMNH
That's nice. That your life?
SPLINTY
No. I spend half my
time in the yacht. My
co-owner's got problems 'cause
his real job is a world class
asshole. And every moment I
got, I'm chasing guys like you.
CMNH
A man told me once: you want to
make good posts?
Don't post anything
you're not willing
to delete in 30 seconds
flat if you feel the heat around
the corner.
(pause)
So if you're pinking me and you
gotta move when I move, how do
you expect to... run a website?
SPLINTY
What are you, a master troll?
CMNH
Yes.
(pause)
I got a "woman".
SPLINTY
What do you tell her?
CMNH
She thinks I sell swimming pools.
SPLINTY
And if you spot me in off-topic.
You gonna walk out on TMMAC?
Leave it flat? Like that?
Not even say goodbye?
CMNH
That's the discipline.
SPLINTY
What you're left with is pretty
empty.
CMNH
Yeah?
(beat)
Then maybe you and me, we should
both go do somethin' else, pal.
SPLINTY
I don't know how to do anything
else. Just yacht, Trump, program, IT work, bang chicks, yell at my co-owner, teach him how to vote, wonder wtf Birdwatcher is ACTUALLY doing, give vaccines, make bank and pink trolls.
CMNH
(the trolling admission)
...neither do I.
SPLINTY
And I don't much want to.
CMNH
Neither do I.
*Both of these guys look at each other and recognize the
mutuality of their condition* SPLINTY's light laughter...
SPLINTY
We're sitting here like a coupla
regular fellas. You do what you
do. I do what I gotta do. What
happens if I am there and I got
to ban you?
(pause)
I'll like it. But, if it's
between you and some new member
whose thread you're going to make
into a shitfest , brother, you are
gonna go down. 'Cause you don't
have to be there. You coulda
gone and been a... a prep cook.
CMNH
There's a flip side to that coin.
What if you got me boxed in and
I gotta create multiple accounts?
(beat)
'Cause no matter what, you will
not get in my club.
(beat)
But now that we been face to
face, I would not feel good about
that. But I won't hesitate.
Not for one second.
SPLINTY
(smiles)
Maybe it'll happen that way. Or
who knows ...
CMNH
...maybe we'll never see each
other again.
SPLINTY
Preferable.
@conor mcgregor nut hugger told me @Splinty smelt like cheese curds IRL
You are such a cheese n00bOnly a Canadian would make that reference.
When we were partaking in $21 cocktails made by Miami's finest mixologists, any weird smells would last remind us of a food item only known amongst cheeseheads in Wisconsin and Canadians overhyping their ruining of French fries.
Oh look another obsessed dork made a thread about me
Who in the fuck are you?Oh look another obsessed dork made a thread about me
Yep, little man is a bitch made coward