Sorry guys. I just need to vent a bit. I know my problems are first world bullshit and pale insignificance compared to billions of our fellow humans. Still though, I feel frustrated as a motherfucker right now.
So I'm 30. Had social anxiety and avoidant personality in my mid-late teens to my early 20s. Once I got over my headfuck stuff, I spent the next four-five years 'finding myself' and going through life - travelling, working, more school, that kinda shit.
Decided I wanted to take shit more seriously by about 26, and managed to get a nice policy job for a government department. Shit went well, I was well liked and I was loving the work, but then our government announced job cuts and my contract wasn't renewed when it was over.
I changed careers since the government is the main employer of policy analysts and researchers. I went back to school and did accounting. Finished last year and after applying for heaps of jobs, I got a part-time job with a small public practice at the end of August.
Again, shit was going well. I had the usual rookie problems, but I was learning & growing, and my boss liked me. I loved the chilled, family style environment of a small office. We broke for xmas/new year. My boss emailed me at the end of the break to tell me to take an extra week since work doesn't pick up straight away.
Two weeks later he emails me again to say there's still not enough work. He was genuine and mega apologetic, saying I was a valued member of the team and the second work picks up he'll call me. Looks like that won't be for a few months and I've had to go back to doing whatever labouring work I can find just to pay rent.
I keep applying for accounting jobs, but shit's done dry right now. Fucking hurts man. If you knew me in high school you'd say I would be major successful in life. I feel like a fucking failure in a shitty cycle that repeats itself. I'm trying to look back and finding where I went wrong, and I know some small shit I should've done differently, but never did I think I'd be in this spot one month short of turning 31.
Rant over.
So I'm 30. Had social anxiety and avoidant personality in my mid-late teens to my early 20s. Once I got over my headfuck stuff, I spent the next four-five years 'finding myself' and going through life - travelling, working, more school, that kinda shit.
Decided I wanted to take shit more seriously by about 26, and managed to get a nice policy job for a government department. Shit went well, I was well liked and I was loving the work, but then our government announced job cuts and my contract wasn't renewed when it was over.
I changed careers since the government is the main employer of policy analysts and researchers. I went back to school and did accounting. Finished last year and after applying for heaps of jobs, I got a part-time job with a small public practice at the end of August.
Again, shit was going well. I had the usual rookie problems, but I was learning & growing, and my boss liked me. I loved the chilled, family style environment of a small office. We broke for xmas/new year. My boss emailed me at the end of the break to tell me to take an extra week since work doesn't pick up straight away.
Two weeks later he emails me again to say there's still not enough work. He was genuine and mega apologetic, saying I was a valued member of the team and the second work picks up he'll call me. Looks like that won't be for a few months and I've had to go back to doing whatever labouring work I can find just to pay rent.
I keep applying for accounting jobs, but shit's done dry right now. Fucking hurts man. If you knew me in high school you'd say I would be major successful in life. I feel like a fucking failure in a shitty cycle that repeats itself. I'm trying to look back and finding where I went wrong, and I know some small shit I should've done differently, but never did I think I'd be in this spot one month short of turning 31.
Rant over.
