Society Guy just tried to fight me at the coffee shop

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Filthy

Iowa Wrestling Champion
Jun 28, 2016
27,507
29,834
Drive-thru line had backed up and was blocking my car in. Most folks let you out, some folks don't pay attention.

There was a sheriff's deputy blocking me when I got in my car, he pulled forward, car behind him didn't leave me room to get out, but it happens. Guy behind him is in a big ol' lifted Chevy diesel, and gets RIGHT UP ON that guy, basically being a dick because he thought it was funny or could compensate for his small weiner in ways the truck could not.

Whatever.

I back it out slow, its tight but not impossible. So my window is right by his and he yells down at me "DERPA DERP!" as I put it in gear and roll out.

I replied that he should try eating a bag of male genitals.
He yells about fucking me up and opens his door to deploy whatever ladder/elevator he uses to get in and out of his truck.


Leaves truck in gear.

Rear-ends car in front of him.
Glorious sound of crunching plastic and glass.
Sheriff steps out and I call out as I slowly pull away
"Enjoy the rest of your day,"
 
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Robbie Hart

All Biden Voters Are Mindless Sheep
Feb 13, 2015
49,703
50,709
Drive-thru line had backed up and was blocking my car in. Most folks let you out, some folks don't pay attention.

There was a sheriff's deputy blocking me when I got in my car, he pulled forward, car behind him didn't leave me room to get out, but it happens. Guy behind him is in a big ol' lifted Chevy diesel, and gets RIGHT UP ON that guy, basically being a sick because he thought it was funny or could compensate for his small weiner in ways the truck could not.

Whatever.

I back it out slow, its tight but not impossible. So my window is right by his and he yells down at me "DERPA DERP!" as I put it in gear and roll out.

I replied that he should try eating a bag of male genitals.
He yells about fucking me up and opens his door to deploy whatever ladder/elevator he uses to get in and out of his truck.


Leaves truck in gear.

Rear-ends car in front of him.
Glorious sound of crunching plastic and glass.
Sheriff steps out and I call out as I slowly pull away
"Enjoy the rest of your day,"
anyone who uses derpa derp is a pussy
Does he have any idea how many different ways you could ensure he got crippled for life?
 
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Rambo John J

Eats things that would make a Billy Goat Puke
First 100
Jan 17, 2015
71,541
71,465
Drive-thru line had backed up and was blocking my car in. Most folks let you out, some folks don't pay attention.

There was a sheriff's deputy blocking me when I got in my car, he pulled forward, car behind him didn't leave me room to get out, but it happens. Guy behind him is in a big ol' lifted Chevy diesel, and gets RIGHT UP ON that guy, basically being a sick because he thought it was funny or could compensate for his small weiner in ways the truck could not.

Whatever.

I back it out slow, its tight but not impossible. So my window is right by his and he yells down at me "DERPA DERP!" as I put it in gear and roll out.

I replied that he should try eating a bag of male genitals.
He yells about fucking me up and opens his door to deploy whatever ladder/elevator he uses to get in and out of his truck.


Leaves truck in gear.

Rear-ends car in front of him.
Glorious sound of crunching plastic and glass.
Sheriff steps out and I call out as I slowly pull away
"Enjoy the rest of your day,"
describe his appearance to complete mental image
 

Never_Rolled

First 10,000
Dec 17, 2018
5,798
6,349
Drive-thru line had backed up and was blocking my car in. Most folks let you out, some folks don't pay attention.

There was a sheriff's deputy blocking me when I got in my car, he pulled forward, car behind him didn't leave me room to get out, but it happens. Guy behind him is in a big ol' lifted Chevy diesel, and gets RIGHT UP ON that guy, basically being a sick because he thought it was funny or could compensate for his small weiner in ways the truck could not.

Whatever.

I back it out slow, its tight but not impossible. So my window is right by his and he yells down at me "DERPA DERP!" as I put it in gear and roll out.

I replied that he should try eating a bag of male genitals.
He yells about fucking me up and opens his door to deploy whatever ladder/elevator he uses to get in and out of his truck.


Leaves truck in gear.

Rear-ends car in front of him.
Glorious sound of crunching plastic and glass.
Sheriff steps out and I call out as I slowly pull away
"Enjoy the rest of your day,"
This really happened? Either way a great story. BIGWHITESEXY alive and well.
 

Filthy

Iowa Wrestling Champion
Jun 28, 2016
27,507
29,834
This really happened? Either way a great story. BIGWHITESEXY alive and well.
100% legit.
It was the dutch bros on imbrie road, Hillsboro, OR.
Look it up, I was parked on the east side, furthest spot out.

Some chick was taking the order from the car that got hit.

Call the stand and verify, sure it's all the talk.
Happened just before 2PM
 

Rambo John J

Eats things that would make a Billy Goat Puke
First 100
Jan 17, 2015
71,541
71,465
100% legit.
It was the dutch bros on imbrie road, Hillsboro, OR.
Look it up, I was parked on the east side, furthest spot out.

Some chick was taking the order from the car that got hit.

Call the stand and verify, sure it's all the talk.
Happened just before 2PM
Dutch bros bro
 

Never_Rolled

First 10,000
Dec 17, 2018
5,798
6,349
100% legit.
It was the dutch bros on imbrie road, Hillsboro, OR.
Look it up, I was parked on the east side, furthest spot out.

Some chick was taking the order from the car that got hit.

Call the stand and verify, sure it's all the talk.
Happened just before 2PM
If you say it really happened that's good enough for me. Great story with a happy ending. If you were in a Prius it would be perfect.
 

Filthy

Iowa Wrestling Champion
Jun 28, 2016
27,507
29,834
My Gf was in the Medford/Ashland area for a bit. Didn't get up to the Portland area much.
I'm up here for work at least once a month. Used to live here, but I don't miss it much. Ashland is nice, some decent off-piste skiing.
 

Filthy

Iowa Wrestling Champion
Jun 28, 2016
27,507
29,834
Baller status!
it's a double-edged sword.

If it wasn't so convenient, they wouldn't send me so often. I also support teams in WA and CA (Frisco and LA). Now they're talking about wanting me to support teams in France, Malaysia, England, India...

But I've got 3 little kids, and I ain't about that travel life right now.
But I'll finish my grad degree this term (hopefully) and then I'll take a couple months of sabbatical and figure it out.
 

Rambo John J

Eats things that would make a Billy Goat Puke
First 100
Jan 17, 2015
71,541
71,465
too close to portland...they are all divide and conquered up there
 

Filthy

Iowa Wrestling Champion
Jun 28, 2016
27,507
29,834
and it's not as baller as it sounds.
It's nicer than commercial, mostly because it doesn't involve getting groped by min wage strangers, but it's not James Bond shit.
 

BeardOfKnowledge

The Most Consistent Motherfucker You Know
Jul 22, 2015
60,547
56,268
TL: DR version.

1) OP gets bent because guy won't let him in.
2) OP cuts guy off.
3) Guy yells at OP for being a dick.
4) OP yells back at him for some inexplicable reason.
5) Guy isn't very smart and his vehicle hits another.
6) OP flees scene of an accident.