I figured a lot of this comes with age.
But I'm also a single dad with 2 teenage/pre-teen daughters full time, so I need to get a handle on this like NOW.
I don't want to go to prison, or die by gunfire.
I've got a 16 year old and here's one thing that I figured out. Nothing that me or my wife says about boys matters. Nothing. She's going to like who she likes, and talk to who she wants to talk to. We could worry ourselves to death, trying to monitor her social media, phone, etc...but at the end of the day, she's still going to do what she wants. At some point, you have to trust that you have raised them right, and believe they will make the right decisions. My 16 year has talked to a couple of boys that I didn't like. I told her as much, but also told her she would have to learn for herself...but if she wanted to see them, it would have to be at our house. They came over a couple of times, and when they learned that ole dad was going to be sitting there with them, asking questions, they suddenly no longer wanted to hang out. Weird huh? My daughter learned a valuable lesson...those boys were only out to hook up, and when they couldn't, they were gone. The boy she talks to now, I actually like. He comes over, sits down and talks, isnt trying to hide anything, etc. He opens the door for her, asks us if he can take her to the movies, etc. So I'm happy for her. If he breaks her heart (which is likely)...it will be another valuable lesson she learns. And the more of these lessons she learns, the more apprehensive and choosy she will be.
I look at it like this. You gotta pick your battles. Would I like for my 16 yr old to make straight A's? Of course. Would I like for her to not date at age 16? Absolutely. But she's been dealing with Type I diabetes since she was 8 years old, she has low vision and has to go thru special classes to get her drivers license, she has to have special treatment at school because of her low vision, etc. So I'm like "This girls been thru a ton already. She isn't doing drugs or drinking (both scare her shitless because of her diabetes). She's not pregnant. She makes decent grades. She's home on the weekends, while her friends are out partying." She's a good kid. So do I want to bust her ass 24/7 about who's she talking to? It's just not worth it (to me anyway).
I've got an 11 yr old also, that is likely going to be a little bombshell as she gets into HS. The cheerleader that everyone wants to date. I am hoping we have the same luck with her, that we've had with our 16 yr old. I am confident we will because we're involved in her life. She knows mom & dad love her unconditionally and would do anything for her. She has our attention. I think the biggest key is just being involved. Showing them how a man should treat a woman. Treating my wife like I want boys to treat them. I tell them both "don't date anyone that won't treat you like I treat your momma." They get it...or at least they say they do lol.