Yo here it is:
Get up on some 90/10 grass fed beef. Let those cow shits run wild like mother nature intended.
Beef will be healthier and tastier, and bitches love healthy cows:
Now you got a good base. Don't fuck around here like some moron building a crap house on a perfect foundation.
Get yourself an extra hand...
Don't hire this woman, she's dress all wrong! Gonna hurt herself
Take a guess at the meat eater in this picture that KNOWS what a burger should taste like:
Yeah Brenda on the left, big ass meat knife and predatorial bitch face. So find the closest thing and get to work you lazy putz!
Mix the beef, an egg, diced onion, bread crumbs, a little worcestershire, minced garlic, pinch of salt teaspoon salt, and pinch of pepper. I have also been known to fold the burgers around a small pad of butter to add some fattening juiciness but that is probably overkill because you should also top these bad boys with bacon a fried egg.
Buns? Paint them with a little oil or melted butter and on and off the grill they go.
I mayo and ketchup all my burgers because I'm a heathen. Lettuce yes, Tomato yes. Grilled onions even though I already put some diced in the burger? yep. Bacon x2. Fried egg to top if off.
Shit will be 4 stories tall and give you a heart attack inside of a week. But that's okay.
End result should look sort of like this:
But BIGGER, and should be served outdoors with a cold beer.
See that thick ass piece of bacon they put on there?
We all need to follow this guide:
Makin Bacon From Scratch - It Is Soooooo Much Better That's my next experiment.