General I’m am alcoholic

Discussion in 'The Off-topic Lounge' started by Juanandonly, Mar 5, 2019.

  1. Juanandonly

    Juanandonly Deserves got nothing to do with it

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    The struggle is real. It’s not something I can hide anymore. I want to be a good person and I do have good intentions I just can’t get past myself. For those of you who don’t know me I am hard-working person with four kids. At this point in my life the struggle that I am in might just end everything I’m about. I have a best friend who posts on this site as well but does not give me the time of day because I’m a fucking asshole. I’m not asking for sympathy but I am asking for prayers. I’ve been here before and I fought through it I know I see myself back in the same position. I have asked for help but because I continually do this to myself my prayers are answered. I’m putting this out here in the community because I don’t have a choice. I’ve been on this site for a few years and seen people come and go I don’t want to be that person. God bless to everyone who might read this and I have any input on what the next step should be. My wife will soon find out what’s going on and that will end us. But this is my own fault
     
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  2. BJTT_Kiwi

    BJTT_Kiwi My member is more well known than yours

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  3. MMAHAWK

    MMAHAWK @MMAHAWK21 TMMAC Journalist of the Year 16' 17'

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    You’re a good dude Juan and I’ve enjoyed the times we’ve hung out for fighting events. If you ever need to get away for awhile and try to clear your head my door is always open.
     
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  4. MovinOn

    MovinOn Canis lupus familiaris

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    Juan, even if you're not a fan of Macklemore's music, the guy has walked the same road you're on. He went to rehab.

    ”If it wasn’t for that rehab center, I probably wouldn’t have been here. In terms of recovery, it has been very important for me to be a part of a recovery community, to actively be around my people because they understand me. They get it.”

    Steven Tyler of Aerosmith too:

    “I had it all. I didn’t care. And I hurt my family and my children and my friends. If it wasn’t for the program of AA, I would have nothing.”


    You're probably a ballin' rock star too, I guess. But even if you're not, go find some help! There's lots of resources out there. You can't undo what's been done but you can turn things around. It's not going to be easy but if you really want it, you'll get there.

    Best of luck.


     
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  5. Enock-O-lypse Now!

    Enock-O-lypse Now! Underneath Denver International Airport

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  6. Miesha's Taint

    Miesha's Taint SONG YA DONG

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    Never seen you be an asshole to anybody....We all have internal struggles in our lives...We also only live once so we have to try and enjoy things the best we can...I drink a lot...I also work a lot...Dont be so hard on yourself champ.. If you ever want to just chat shit I'm excellent at it. PM me whenever man and I'll give you a call when time permits.

    Hugs
     
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  7. Rambo John J

    Rambo John J Black Belt in Crowd Warm-up
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    You have the power to do whatever you want Juan.
    I have family going thru this so I am learning about this struggle currently.
    Stay strong brother
     
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  8. Tiiimmmaaayyy

    Tiiimmmaaayyy First 100 ish

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    Lots of alcoholism in my family. I e seen what it can do to people and i know it’s tough to deal with. Have you and your wife talked about it? Maybe she already has an idea about it and not sure how to approach you. Having her support may be what you need to get over the hump.
     
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  9. Galt

    Galt ໝາກສີດາ
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    What @Miesha's Taint@Miesha's Taint said. If you ever feel like having a chat I’ll PM you my number. I’m also an alcoholic and for the most time barely keep things together, I know shit is tough but don’t beat yourself up too much.
     
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  10. Sex Chicken

    Sex Chicken Never Slap Hands and Don't Bump Fists

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    Hey man. I know it might seem odd to say because I know right now it seems like you’re in a pretty desperate place, but my first impression after reading your post is that I was happy for you.

    Take any of my advice for what’s it’s worth because I can only talk from my own experience, but I feel like I’ve been where you’re at. I’ve been sober for coming up on 6 years after being a daily drinker since I was 17 (I’m 43).

    The part about you “having fought back and ended up in the same place”. I don’t know if you’re the same as me but I have a lot of pride and I was always trying to control my drinking. Not being able to control my drinking I viewed as a sign of weakness and I felt like I would never give in. I would figure it out myself and find a balance to keep booze in my life. I would remember all the successful drinking I had done where I was able to put it in it’s place. What I had to realize and the way I look at it is somewhere along the line I broke my off switch. No matter what my intentions were one drink always became 20. I kept looking for the logic in it, saying to myself in all other aspects of my life I have pretty good willpower and I act like a fairly reasonable person, I can control this, but then I had to be honest with myself and just look at my track record. I had been trying to control it for the last 10 years of my drinking. The fact was I couldn’t. I would white knuckle it without booze for a couple weeks just to prove to myself I could do it, but then first night back on the bottle I would wake up on the couch with no idea what I had done for the last 5 hours of the night before. In order to quit drinking I had put my ego aside and say “I can’t even have one”. The truth for me is quitting drinking wasn’t that hard for me once I made the decision to have no booze at all. I don’t walk around craving a drink. But the way I’m wired (and I think most alcoholics are wired) is that as soon as I have one, I crave a second and I will use any convulted logic my mind can create to justify why I should have that second drink.
    If I don’t have one I don’t have to deal with it.

    Sorry this is already way longer than I wanted it to be but I honestly think a good first step is to go to an AA meeting. I had pushed my wife to the edge and she was insisting that I go to a meeting. Just to get her off my back I went, thinking I would get nothing from it. I’m not an AA member and haven’t gone to a meeting in years, but it helped me a lot. I went to a bunch of meetings in my first couple of years. For me chronic drinking was a pretty isolating thing. I honestly believed that not a single person could understand or relate to what I was dealing with. First AA meeting I just sat and listened while people stood up and talked about what is and was going on with them and booze and 90% of it directly spoke to my drinking. There are other parts of AA like doing the steps and stuff. Do them if you want, (I didn’t) but don’t worry about any of that other stuff. Just go to listen to their stories.

    I didn’t mean to write this block of text. PM and I can give you my number if you ever want to talk.
     
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  11. Thuglife13

    Thuglife13 MAGA Grand Poobah

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  12. Hauler

    Hauler Unknown Member

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    Talk to your wife about it. Join AA. You don't have to go it alone.

    They say admitting it to yourself is the hardest step. Sounds like you've already done that. Best of luck, bro.
     
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  13. Lamont Cranston

    Lamont Cranston Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?
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    You're not a unique flower.

    There are many other alcoholics who got sober.

    You can get sober too.

    Best wishes.
     
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  14. Sex Chicken

    Sex Chicken Never Slap Hands and Don't Bump Fists

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    @Juanandonly@Juanandonly sorry the point I wanted to make about AA and going to the meetings and listening is that I truly believe that the only person who can really understand alcoholism and that bizarre mindset is other alcoholics. Sure there are therapists that can help you sort some stuff out but sitting in a room full of alcoholics who have walked in your shoes and are openly sharing their experiences did me a world of good. It is something you could never replicate.
     
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  15. Robbie Hart

    Robbie Hart I apparently look like a Jewish accountant

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    I believe I fall into this category @Juanandonly@Juanandonly
    I talk to both miesha and galt so let me know man and we can talk...
     
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  16. MovinOn

    MovinOn Canis lupus familiaris

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    How you holding up, @Juanandonly@Juanandonly?

    Hope things are manageable. Keep us updated, bro. There might be some stumbles along the way, but you'll soar again!


    [​IMG]
     
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  17. sparkuri

    sparkuri Ramses #1
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    He's doing good and'll probably update in a few days.
     
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  18. Jesus X

    Jesus X co-founder of Manhunt bar at Quantico, VA

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    well im at problem drinker level not yet alcoholic .I should quit for health reasons. I can sympathize with OP it is better to not get hooked on booze.
     
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  19. Wild

    Wild TMMAC's Most Handsome Admin
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    Get to meetings and get a sponsor who will support you & also hold you accountable. Go religiously. One of my best friends did every kind of drug imaginable, including abusing alcohol, for 15+ years. Out of every friend I've ever had in my 47 years, I thought he was the guy that would never stop. He was a maniac. He's now been sober for 13 years, and he's also a sponsor.

    You CAN break the cycle brother. Prayers sent your way.
     
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  20. SPLlNTY

    SPLlNTY IM NOT HIM!

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    Mods, can we merge this with the "what are you drinking tonight" thread?
     
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  21. Kneeblock

    Kneeblock I will dog walk you

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    @sparkuri@sparkuri seems I'll have to come visit you guys for real.
     
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  22. MC Gusto

    MC Gusto I bought a gun and chose drugs instead

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    For all the shit talking that happens in this forum, I am constantly reminded what a good crew of folk actually make up this place. Great advice from everyone.

    Tomorrow, next week and next year will happen whether we do something to improve our situation or not. It sounds like you are taking steps in the right direction to make amends and be a better man. The struggle is real but you're not alone.
     
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  23. Jesus X

    Jesus X co-founder of Manhunt bar at Quantico, VA

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    I'm not a daily drinker or even crave booze like some alcoholics my problem for the last 12 years is my binge drinking once a week like yesterday for example starts and is intended to be at 2 pint glasses and I end up drinking 9 or even 11 pint glasses some times and that number escalated from 2 pint glasses a decade ago.

    my drinking is triggered by doing social things like live music ,sports games,going to the theater which has beer.

    [​IMG]
     
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  24. Papi Chinqon

    Papi Chinqon Posting machine

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    You can do it brother. Plus you can save alot of money by not drinking. If your wife leaves you, use the money on whores.

    Win win imo
     
    #24 Papi Chinqon, Mar 10, 2019
    Last edited: Mar 10, 2019
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  25. Juanandonly

    Juanandonly Deserves got nothing to do with it

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    Things are doing better. Had to check myself into a detox and the fucked up thing is while I was in there somehow I ended up getting influenza A which they told me is not good. Very contagious flu so not only was I detoxing but I had a fever of 101.5 and they had me pretty much quarantined in the corner. Had to mask and robe up to even take a piss. Only good thing about it was I was able to talk them into bringing a television directly next to my bed and I would just watch movies all day between all of the medicines (Librium) they gave me if I didn’t pass out. They give you a shit ton of stuff and it really fucks you up. But I’m out now on certain prescribed meds and my whole family has influenza as well. I guess when things go bad they really go bad. But we are a strong ass family and don’t run like some peoples. We will make it through this shit.
    This will probably be my last post on this site for a while. I will be visiting and hovering around or lurking however you wanna call it. I do appreciate all of your guises comments and God bless
     
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