I'm interested to see if he's okay or not because I'd totally miss any signals that there was a reason to be concerned.
You never know, an officer posted this on a private forum, he lost his son
Two weeks ago today, my wife and I lost our 13 year old son. He took his own life. We're lost, broken, reeling... absolutely devastated.
But when I say we had
no idea, no indication, no warning - I mean we had
nothing. Out son was the same smiling, joyful, sweet kid we always knew - right until the end. We didn't know he was carrying the weight of the world on his soul. He hid it from us. From everyone.
He was laughing and joking at dinner, teasing my wife that he was now taller than her. A source of great excitement for him to be taller than mom. He was making plans - we talked that night about who he was going to room with on his 8th grade class trip to D.C. We were, as a family, going to Greece this summer - for a wedding. He had been talking about all the things that he wanted to see when he got there. Hell, he had even forgotten to complete an assignment that Tuesday, and when we talked about getting that fixed he'd said "Yep, no problem Dad, I'll get it turned in tomorrow."
He hugged us goodnight before bed, just like always. The first indication we had that something was wrong, was when I heard something and ran back into his room after we'd all gone to bed. He had shot himself. My wife and I worked to save him, but we knew. We both knew.
The next five days were an absolute nightmare. Our son was in an ICU on life support. We knew he wasn't coming back. But there was hope he may be able to an organ donor. Five days of making the most awful decisions - a parent should never have to make - it was hell.
January 26th, we made the decision to pull life support and held our son while he died. I have never felt pain and loss like I have the last two weeks. If there's something worse than this - I don't think I could survive it. Barely hanging on as is.
Our son was able to donate his heart, lungs, both kidneys and his liver to five people the night he died. Five people lived, because he died. We're clinging to that small bit of good in this giant dumpster fire of tragedy, because goddammit - we needed
something.
The reason I posted this isn't for attention. I don't want sympathy or comfort. Frankly I don't deserve it. I know I failed my son, and that pain is something I have to wear forever.
The reason I posted this is to tell you all: hug your kids. You never know if the last time will be the last time. We sure had no clue. We were really in tune and talkative with ours. Or we thought. Turns out - we didn't have any idea what our boy was struggling with.
Sorry to dump my purse out on the sidewalk, and be such a bummer first thing in the morning, y'all. I just want everyone to check in on their kids.
