Very unfortunate that his last act was trying to leave his wife and family for somebody online. I know he had mental problems, but it's still a sour last note to end on for his family.
I agree, I have dealt with dementia in my family and my friends, they aren't your loved ones anymore. You try to just keep them as comfortable as possible and keep them from harming themselves.
I have some friends, wife's mother had dementia. She thought the husband was her husband, when they would bring her food, she would look at Bill and ask why the strange woman was in the room, she didn't recognize her own daughter.
I have some guests that have been coming in for 20 years, he is a retired Mass trooper, we would often sit and talk. They come in every week, she hasn't recognized me in 3 years. She always says she thinks she knows me. I give her a hug and tell her it's cornhole, I'm the owner. When I sit them and walk I hear her ask, who is that strange man.
I responded to a call where the husband was driving himself to florida. I get to the house and he is just sitting in the car with it running. I knock on the window and say hello sir, what are you doing? I'm driving to florida. I was able to talk him into the house and get him in is bedroom. I had my buddy with me and he was talking to the wife, she was at her wits end, didn't know what to do. I sat with him and spoke about the pictures in the bedroom, he recognized his son and said how proud he was that he was a marine.
I asked him if he was ready to go to bed, he said he was, I said okay, I'm going to just step outside the door so I can speak to my partner. So we were talking to the wife making recommendations when the bedroom door opened and he walked out. I said Tom, I thought you were going to bed. He said I don't know how to do that.
I took him back in the bedroom, undressed him, put him in his pajamas and tucked him in. We sat talking about his son for another 5 minutes before he fell asleep.
He passed away a couple months later and the family reached out thanking me for being so kind and gentle with their father.
I told my wife, if I can recognize that I am going through that, I am going for a long walk in the woods and don't bother looking, I aint putting you through that. I saw what it did with my grandfather.
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