General I Tore Up My Back Shoveling Snow.

Discussion in 'The Off-topic Lounge' started by Sex Chicken, Feb 13, 2019.

  1. Sex Chicken

    Sex Chicken Never Slap Hands and Don't Bump Fists

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    Yesterday we got 20 centimetres, before I had a chance to shovel it rained on top of the snow. I have a two car driveway that slopes downward. I swear to God it was like shovelling cement. Each half foot your shovel would be full of 20 pounds of heavy snow. Then I have to heave it up over the containing wall surrounding my driveway. Every muscle in my back is torn. And now it’s coming down again.

    I don’t know what I’m going to do. It hurts to move. My wife has some oxy-codone left over from a surgery. I might have to get drugged out of my mind and push my back past it’s limits.


    Are there any strong men in Southern Ontario who will shovel my driveway for a bowl of chilli and glass of ice cold Coke Zero?
    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     
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  2. conor mcgregor nut hugger

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    I hope you get snowed in
     
  3. Rambo John J

    Rambo John J Black Belt in Crowd Warm-up
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    Use your legs
    Proper form
    put wife to work
    Hire neighbor kid
    Lol.statue
     
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  4. Rambo John J

    Rambo John J Black Belt in Crowd Warm-up
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    [​IMG]
     
  5. conor mcgregor nut hugger

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    Too bad you'll never be able to give this to your wife
     
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  6. Robbie Hart

    Robbie Hart I apparently look like a Jewish accountant

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    Very surprised someone as decrepit looking and weak as op hurt himself doing something physical

    [​IMG]
     
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  7. Sex Chicken

    Sex Chicken Never Slap Hands and Don't Bump Fists

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    @Lars@Lars @Marty the cat@Marty the cat. I know you guys are in the area. Come over, shovel my driveway. I'll make a pot of chili, we can pop a can of Pringles, and then we can watch a movie
    (I have the Matrix on Blu Ray). You guys can sleep over but you'll need to bring your own sleeping bags and make sure it's alright with your parents.
     
    #7 Sex Chicken, Feb 13, 2019
    Last edited: Feb 13, 2019
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  8. Sex Chicken

    Sex Chicken Never Slap Hands and Don't Bump Fists

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    I would dog walk you through this snow. I'm strong as fuck and I don't put up with Bullshit!!!
     
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  9. Robbie Hart

    Robbie Hart I apparently look like a Jewish accountant

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    You’re feeble and rickety, I would fuck you in your cunt
     
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  10. Sex Chicken

    Sex Chicken Never Slap Hands and Don't Bump Fists

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    I don't get snowed in.
    School and government business were shut down yesterday. I tried to order a fucking pizza but the fucking cowards wouldn't deliver. I drove to the god damned pizza parlour myself, and brought home an XL Bacon, Mushroom, Onion, thin crust, with minced garlic pizza for my god damned family.
     
  11. Hauler

    Hauler Unknown Member

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    [​IMG]
     
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  12. Sex Chicken

    Sex Chicken Never Slap Hands and Don't Bump Fists

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    How you gonna fuck MY cunt when I'm busy fucking YOUR cunt!?!
















    I'm rock hard right now.
     
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  13. Sex Chicken

    Sex Chicken Never Slap Hands and Don't Bump Fists

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    What should happen is my prick of a next door neighbour should shovel the sidewalk. I've done the last 5 snowfalls in a row. You know what the prick does when he does shovel the sidewalk? He comes across in front of our front lawns but he stops at my driveway and leaves 15 feet of unshovelled snow on the sidewalk in front the driveway. It's like a principle thing with this guy. I always make a point of shovelling in front of his driveway and if his car isn't there I even do his boulevard for him, but no, every damn time he leaves the snow on the sidewalk in front of my driveway. He refuses to reciprocate. So then I have to get all dressed and come out to do 1 minute of shovelling.

    Same fucking thing with the lawn our lawns are connected so when I moved in the first couple of times I mowed I did both our lawns. I mean once you have the mower out it makes like 10 minutes difference. But then on his turn he would stop at the property line even on the fucking boulevard. I figure maybe the guy was particular about his lawn and wants to cut it himself so I stopped cutting his lawn for him, but then winter came and I saw his shenanigans with the snow shovelling and realized the guy is just a prick.

    Now I'm fired up, I might go over there right now, ring his door bell and when he answers blast him with a power double. Drag the old fuck head into deep water right there in his own entryway.
     
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  14. RaginCajun

    RaginCajun TMMAC Potentate

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    [​IMG]
     
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  15. BirdWatcher

    BirdWatcher Slap hands bump fists
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    Run a hose to your hot tap in the kitchen and just melt it all away.
     
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  16. HEATH VON DOOM

    HEATH VON DOOM Remember the 5th of November

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  17. Rambo John J

    Rambo John J Black Belt in Crowd Warm-up
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  18. Rambo John J

    Rambo John J Black Belt in Crowd Warm-up
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    lol great minds think alike...u beat me by seconds
     
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  19. HEATH VON DOOM

    HEATH VON DOOM Remember the 5th of November

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    Thats because my reflexes arent slowed down by smoking dope
     
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  20. cecil the lion

    cecil the lion Active Member

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    jesus the mexicans here in nebraska
    are begging to shovel for 5 bucks. no mexicans in canada?
     
  21. Rambo John J

    Rambo John J Black Belt in Crowd Warm-up
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    [​IMG]
     
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  22. Passive Jay

    Passive Jay Not Worthy

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    i have started shoving snow naked, it really speeds up how fast I get it done!
     
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  23. HEATH VON DOOM

    HEATH VON DOOM Remember the 5th of November

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    Do your bare feet help you maintain traction so you dont slip?
     
  24. Passive Jay

    Passive Jay Not Worthy

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    I had to grow out my toenails.
     
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  25. Filthy

    Filthy in an upward motion with purposeful direction

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    i always pictured you shoveling snow in a Wookie suit...

    one less image in the spank bank, I guess. <sigh>
     
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