General I'm at a loss here. Took GF's advice diasater ensues.

Discussion in 'The Off-topic Lounge' started by Never_Rolled, Aug 15, 2019 at 12:22 PM.

  1. Never_Rolled

    Never_Rolled First 10,000

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    It's about my parents mostly my father. He's sick with cancer and they are moving. About once a week or so I bring my son up to their house and do various projects. Put things together and or take things apart. Fix broken items etc etc. I spend hours there.

    My father keeps buying cheap put together furniture, wall units etc etc. It KILLS me he is buying cheap shit like this. There is always something missing, broken things end up getting written off and or sent back.

    My GF is getting annoyed also. She told me to nicely put my foot down and tell him not to buy any more put together stuff. I told him I would help pick items out at furniture stores like most people do. I had to meet delivery people today who were "suppose" to also be installers on some put together wall unit. I think he ordered 3 put together wall units.

    I got there delivery guys were gone. They tell my parents they are just delivery guys. Parents call Wayfair lol. They tell them since it has to be bolted against the wall they don't do that. They never told my dad that when he bought it and paid to have it put together. I also see he bought a fucking put together love seat. Who the fuck does this! I also see a put together coffee table.

    I knew I had to put a vanity together so I start doing that. I told my dad again nicely, "I have asked you nicely many times not to order this stuff without me. I have offered to help you find things at furniture stores. I'm not putting all that stuff together that I see out there."

    He hangs up calls back and tells me to stop putting the vanity together. Come to their house (I'm at the new place) bring my mothers new computer that I also worked on. He will never ask me to do anything again and I can go fuck myself he yells. So I finished the vanity and just left. Oh one of the drawer mirrors broke (kind of my fault I tightened the knob too tight and crack! One of the stool legs won't tighten. He also ordered a lift chair from Amazon that came with missing cables. I have to resolve that too. It seems to never end. I don't know how to get him to stop doing this and getting mad at me for putting my foot down. I feel I'm in an impossible situation. I told my GF what happened and she's says "well I can just go with you this weekend and help put the stuff together" I said absolutely not. He has to stop this and if it's going to take tough love so be it.

    This is where I'm at. I'm pissed, upset and I don't know how to fix this.
     
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  2. Filthy

    Filthy ZBM2.

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    maybe your dad just wants to see you and your kid, and hope that every time you see that shitty wall unit you'll think of him.
     
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  3. Never_Rolled

    Never_Rolled First 10,000

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    lol That made me laugh and I needed that. It isn't about seeing us. My father is notoriously cheap. He doesn't appreciate nice things. He just cares how much things cost.
     
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  4. Outlaw Shit

    Outlaw Shit No Comment
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    Well maybe don't tell your dad what to do or how to roll.

    Imagine the same situation when you are old and your son is telling you how it is.

    A man is gonna be a man...regardless of age.


    I gave up convincing my dad of anything many years ago because that is a waste of our time together.


    Might work with some personality types but I suspect both U and your Pops have strong opinions and will.
     
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  5. Bozy

    Bozy OOHH YOU DIDNT KNOW!?

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    I would kill to be able to put things together with my pops. But he died 25 years ago. Cherish the time you have left. Fuck it. It's family. No need to apologize. No need to be upset. Shake it off. And take over some drinks and a tool set. And hang out with him. Look at it like a chill session with your old man. Not having to work and clean up his mess.
     
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  6. maurice

    maurice Well-Known Member

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    It makes me sad when people fight with their dads. My dad died almost 30 years ago. I would love to be able to bring my sons to his house and spend hours together doing various projects, and my kids would love it as well. It doesn't matter if the projects are dumb.

    You're getting upset because you're too close to it. Don't waste the time you have left together fighting. If you don't want to do something, just tell him that you can't do it. Don't fight about it.
     
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  7. HEATH VON DOOM

    HEATH VON DOOM Remember the 5th of November

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    Maybe you should buy him shit that doesnt need to be put together.
     
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  8. Never_Rolled

    Never_Rolled First 10,000

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    The old man has a quick temper. He's a drinker, I am not. It's not about me telling him what to do. It's about him doing things I have asked him not to do if I am the one who is expected to put shit together and or clean up his mess. He doesn't help as he is the least handiest male I know.

    There is no chill session. It is all about me having to work and clean up his mess. I probably wouldn't mind if the stuff was decent, not broke, no parts missing etc etc. He is free to buy whatever he wants but he shouldn't expect me to put this together as I have already told him not to. I'm thinking of shipping the laptop and some meds my GF got for him. Let him cool off for a bit. I can't just go for a visit. There is always "hey can you do me a favor". It seems that's the only reason he wants us to come over. I actually hate going there to be honest. My GF's mom is doing the same to her. She goes there to do something and it's 50 other things. It just gets annoying when it's like that every single time.
     
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  9. Splinty

    Splinty Shake 'em off
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    OP I say this kindly....this is the douchiest thing I've ever read.


    Quit worrying about someone's furniture...fuckhead.
     
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  10. Never_Rolled

    Never_Rolled First 10,000

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    I'm not fighting with him at all. He just expects me to do what I told him I don't want to do any more. He keeps doing it and gets mad when I put my foot down. It's not a very good situation for me.
     
  11. Never_Rolled

    Never_Rolled First 10,000

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    It's about me having to put together junk broken and or missing parts fuckhead.
     
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  12. Shang Tsong2

    Shang Tsong2 ATM 3 CHAMPION OF THE WORLD
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    Gave up early.

    Anyone who read that shit wanna give me cliffs?
     
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  13. mysticmac

    mysticmac First 1025

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    Just quit putting it together if it bothers you that much. He'll realize that he needs to pay someone to do it which adds to the cost, then he'll start ordering better furniture because it'll cost just as much in the end.
     
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  14. mysticmac

    mysticmac First 1025

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    OP doesn't like putting furniture together. Father keeps ordering furniture for OP to put together. OP's GF is fucking a black guy.
     
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  15. Never_Rolled

    Never_Rolled First 10,000

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    This is exactly where I'm at.
     
  16. jason73

    jason73 send her back
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    let that be a lesson to you for taking advice from a woman
     
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  17. Never_Rolled

    Never_Rolled First 10,000

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    She's a people pleaser so I thought it was odd for her to tell me to put my foot down. She knows how frustrating it is when everything is broken and or parts missing. He bought two previous wall units on clearance. Someone must have sent it back. Half the hardware was missing. The MDF was cracked in half. The box was also all torn. I opened it Styrofoam got all over. There was no way to fix this. They gave him a credit and said to toss it. He ordered something else and the exact same thing happened. This was a couple of months ago. This is when I told him no more. It's very frustrating to pack tools, drive all the way up there and and find a mess. There is no reason for him to do this.
     
  18. Splinty

    Splinty Shake 'em off
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    He's buying this stuff because he misses you and it's a good excuse to have you come by without saying so. Quit breaking his heart.
     
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  19. Shang Tsong2

    Shang Tsong2 ATM 3 CHAMPION OF THE WORLD
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    [​IMG]
     
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  20. Shang Tsong2

    Shang Tsong2 ATM 3 CHAMPION OF THE WORLD
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    [​IMG]
     
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  21. gangsterkathryn

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    It’s Jewish mothers that guilt us... not fathers.




    @Never_Rolled@Never_Rolled your dad’s attitude is like my dad’s attitude... the hot headed, pig-headedness is really apparent... in you both. While you need to put your foot down, I think a gentler approach would be best. Instead of getting angry, you need to cool down and spin it more positive somehow. “Hey, dad. I know this was inexpensive, but maybe I can help you find something nicer that’s a better quality build.” And when they ask you to do 80 things when you get there, “hey, I know you need this stuff done but I only have (set amount of time). Maybe we can find you a handyman (or whatever person to task) to help with everything else?”

    Also, I would hope wayfair plans on refunding the assembly he paid. They could have fucking assembled it and then you could have done the bolting.
     
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  22. Never_Rolled

    Never_Rolled First 10,000

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    Now I hav
    Well now I am hearing things as well. My mother called to ask what was going on. I told her I was fucking myself per her husbands instructions. She says she doesn't know about the convo. May or may not be true. Old man denies to her he told me to go fuck myself.

    Wayfair now is bringing another company over to do everything. My mother said she also going to ask them to put the loveseat and coffee table together too. Good!

    I am handy and can fix most things. I built my own house which was a 2 year project but I hate putting junk together. I have no problem if he wants to buy that stuff. He has to live with it I don't. Just stop asking me to put it together. Not sure why this is a point of contention.

    GF has doubled down saying I am doing the right thing. She wasn't buying my kaka that she caused the whole problem. ;)
     
  23. gangsterkathryn

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    Jewish guilt is coming for you!

    It is not about you being handy, it’s about limiting yourself so you don’t get frustrated with them. I usually do most whatever my parents ask, but sometimes I have to set a boundary and say no because I don’t want to bend to them (really, her... my dad never really asks much of me) all the time. I usually wind up doing whatever the fuck it is because of Jewish guilt, but you have to limit yourself.

    Fuck Wayfair. Like I told you already. Their shit looks cheap, anyway.


    She’s not going to admit defeat, btw. That’s not an easy deal.
     
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  24. Never_Rolled

    Never_Rolled First 10,000

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    It's really bottom of the barrel crap. If my parents were poor and this is all they could afford that would be a different story. My mom didn't know about the loveseat or table. He just uses that stupid Kindle and orders shit. He doesn't read reviews, no due diligence. I guess I feel like he doesn't appreciate everything I do. He just gets mad when I refuse something. I can't let his bad decisions run my life. If I tell him I'm not going to do something I'm sticking to my guns.

    The way they are trying to guilt is saying they are not well enough to go to a furniture store. that's why my dad orders this shit. Once again I explained we can look at Eldorado, RTG, Macy's etc etc. I will go down in person and make the arrangements. I never get an answer when I pose this. If he can pick out shit from Wayfair he can pick out better stuff from a store that delivers real furniture that isn't missing parts or broken.
     
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  25. gangsterkathryn

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    How is the stuff at eldorado? I have never been in, but they have some nice, modern shit.

    Block Wayfair on the Kindle. He probably won’t know how to unblock it.
     
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