General I'm fuming right now

So I just find out why wife has been lying to me for the past 6 months

Long story short she's prescribed Suboxone for opiate addiction and has been on it for 5 years

I completely stopped taking all prescription medications about 2 years ago

So I waited for a year-and-a-half for her to hopefully do the same but she didn't so about six months ago I laid down the law and said enough is enough

She agreed and said she would stop and canceled her doctor's appointments so I thought

So she's been going behind my back making appointments when she had to take the kids or when I was gone but she fucked up today and I found out

I'm MILITANTLY against opiates of any kind and i dont give a fuck it's prescribed to her makes no difference to me i will not tolerate it

Thing is I know you can't make someone quit when they don't want to because they'll do what she's been doing

I'm extremely angry and not thinking clearly right now...any suggestions what I should do?

 

Shit ain’t gonna change, take it from me who was warned about drinking by my wife

We split up in the end (she was no saint btw)

Either get counselling or probably walk

I refused counselling with her as she is a micro managing chick and will never change and I’m not gonna change from not wanting to be micro managed.....made me rebel against her

People don’t change broseph.....if you can work it out, all respect but it sounds like you have some work on your hands

I hope you can find a solution, for real

I hate to see shit like this

 

Do you think that as an addict, maybe she needs support rather than scolding?

I don't say that to be a dick, cos I totally get why you're mad. I would be too. She's a liar and a drug addict and the best response is usually a kick to the curb. But you have kids together, so it's not as easy.

 

Yea I think I just gonna go on radio silence here...dont get me wrong shes a great woman but I HATE what pills make people do

 

Sleep on it

bummer to hear...I have family with addiction struggles right now also

anger solves nothing as you know

 

No she needs tough love...fuck that poison itsunhealthy and its aging her rapidly

She's the type of person who has to be made to do something

 

That's exactly what I've been telling myself wait till the morning when you're not as angry

Here's the thing I understand people like to get high but the dosage that she takes is so small she doesn't feel any type of high with it so why take it and poison yourself... it's purely a psychological thing

 

Gotta deal with it man

I am in a battle with her now but you need to nip it in the bud

Get her an intervention with her and your family......it can’t hurt anymore than letting it go on

 

That's a good idea get the kids on board

 

May avoid the kids part

How old are they?

She’s just maintaining from the sounds of it

Went through a family member maintaining heroine use and kids under 18 don’t need to see it.....it’s not for them yet imo

But, your wife needs to be confronted by family on both sides

 

The only family that cares is me and the kids the oldest is 21 the other two are in their teens

It's a difficult subject to approach obviously

 

Gotta deal with it even if you leave the kids out of it

It’s not good when someone maintains

My mother told me about my family member about 20 years ago and I just blew it off until I was going to the gym a few nights later and stopped and drove over to my parents house and my mom opened the door and I just started crying like a bitch because I could have helped nip it in the bud much earlier had I just taken the time but I was a twat

 

Fuck I thought they banned OP from watching Youtube videos.

 

I agree

 

No such luck

 

Have some addicts in my fam and it's not good at all. Wish you the best friend...

 

so what works for you works for everyone, and you know more than her doctor?

 

Maintaining isnt "working" it's covering up the symptoms instead of addressing the problem

 

Accept that addiction doesn't have one sized fits all solution.

 

Thanks dr phil

 

If you want honest help from someone that grew up and spent most of his life around varying sorts of addicts, you just got it. It's ironic that you insist your wife accept your "tough love" but won't take it yourself.

 

Consider this may be the only reason she isn’t dead or a full-blown lost cause addict. Consider the Suboxone (which is only a partial agonist, not a true opiate in many ways) may be the only reason she is alive or functioning at he level she is.

If it is such an issue that it gets in the way of you living the life you need to live in order to stay sober then do what you need to do. Otherwise consider whether this situation though not ideal is better than many alternatives.

Also here is a good article if an outside perspective helps. All the best to you and your family!

5 myths about using Suboxone to treat opiate addiction - Harvard Health Blog

 

If you give up on your marriage because of this? Pathetic I'm afraid.

 

Talk to her. Does she want to stop? Why was she on them to start with? Why is the doc still prescribing them?

I wouldn't bring the kids into it. Don't use them as pawns - could do more harm than good even if they are old enough to understand.

Being a liar comes with being an addict. It's rough, but don't take it personally. She has a sickness. She needs your help - not your rage.

 

You're not giving tough love you're giving tough shit