Jon Jones charged with Battery

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jimmy boogaloo

General Links/Your Account
Nov 15, 2017
4,127
4,265
cheers for posting ^ dana is an absolute bastard at times, butt fuck I am glad a gobshite like him is the one dealing with the media.
 

LawFitz

Fantasy Fighter
Nov 18, 2015
532
673
Kicked her in the pussy, and didn't pay up for the privilege. This is what happens when cheap meets dumb. I've been both. We all have. If you haven't, you're a liar or your mammories are shot.
 

WoodenPupa

Member
Feb 14, 2015
2,920
3,565
Id say Jones has gotten away with several metric tons of minor crimes and personal (not illegal but unethical to most) offenses throughout his 20's. He's been busted on a few things (no need to review), but as with most lawbreaker types, I really doubt the full story emerged in any of the cases that have "caught up to him" through the charges themselves. I'm thinking he's skated on 99% of his bullshit, as any manipulative narcissist-type habitual criminal will have done. The car crashes, the dope, the posi-tests, yeah, all the stuff he's been nailed on---what we know about those cases is just a fraction of what really happened.

What catches up to these people isn't ever a set of truly accurate, thorough charges on a given crime. It's the work of other manipulative narcissist-type habitual criminals falling on them. The accuser in this latest case is just giving him a dose of his own medicine, I think we're largely agreed on that. In these situations, we start hearing the word "karma". And people will talk about this stuff using that term, and it works well enough, but I like a simpler formulation like "law of averages".

It's pretty simple. Eventually, every player gets played. Some never seem to come to real justice, be it in the street or the courtroom, but most get a good taste, enough to alter their life for the worse. This latest incident sounds like incomprehensibly stupid club-logic trash, but it was only possible because Jon is STILL running game, playing on the side, scoring a little somethin', sliding by, acting in his own worst-kept-secret reality show. In other words, still doing DUMB shit. Hard to know what to emphasize, "still" or "dumb".

It might not be as outrageously out in the open as it once was, but it hardly matters. Much worse than this is bound to happen to him, because the world isn't that big after all, and fickle people you play around with often become offended or unsatisfied with something. Now their friends and the friends of those friends have motivation that they didn't before. Right? Isn't that what we bet on, if we're wagering on how the next couple of years will turn out?

If I had to say one way or the other, sure. Unfortunately, the law of averages holds no guarantees for gawkers craning their necks for the freeway karmic pileup. Reality shrinks every magnitude except the truly mysterious. That pileup might be a fender bender when you swing around coming from the other direction. So here's the cruel reality. Jon may continue to panther around the party scene, creeping up the strange stairs now and then. He might text some recently acquired bad news amigos and both arrive unspotted by those who would mean harm, and depart unharmed from such one-time scenes. And that might be the pattern forevermore. However much we don't want to hear it, there might not ever be a justice payoff for the audience, which is what we are. We can't snap our fingers and get Shakespeare, with everybody having paid their dues. Jon might age to his career death untouched by the law in any meaningful legal sense, and there might not even be any private payments made, in the sense of spiritual debts via guilt.

That's the possibly nasty surprise ending lurking in all this: that there is no perp walk or career destruction. There is no ending, no narrative crux, but only denouement. A quietness after it's all said and done, except that we don't recall anything profound being said or anything like that being done.

I'm betting with my heart, though, so my wager is on audience payoff.
 

Haulport

Quis Custodiet Ipsos Custodes
First 100
Jan 17, 2015
3,062
4,165
I'm not sure if you gentlemen are aware of this but strip clubs are filthy with video cameras.

My guess is that they have all this shit on video probably told him to give her a bunch of money or else they were going to turn him over to the cops, he told them to go fuck themselves and so they went to the cops.

Usually, I would never believe the scummy people who work in strip clubs, but I'd bet my bottom dollar everything is exactly how they say it is and it is all on video.
 
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SongExotic2

ATM 3 CHAMPION OF THE WORLD. #FREECAIN
First 100
Jan 16, 2015
39,772
53,672
I'm not sure if you gentlemen are aware of this but strip clothes are filthy with video cameras.

My guess is that they have all this shit on video probably told him to give her a bunch of money or else they were going to turn him over to the cops, he told him to go fuck themselves and so they went to the cops.

Usually I would never believe the scummy people who work in strip clubs, but I'd bet my bottom dollar everything is exactly how they say it is and it is all on video.
I have a hard time believing that Jon would even visit a strip club. He's a religious guy
 

kneeblock

Drapetomaniac
Apr 18, 2015
12,435
23,026
Man, Rashad lost his team, his title, his home and his soul to this guy and told us all along he wasn't who he seemed. Who knows what happened here, but Jones has the stink on him now for life. Imagine if he'd really ended up being who he pretended to be.
 
1

1031

Guest
Id say Jones has gotten away with several metric tons of minor crimes and personal (not illegal but unethical to most) offenses throughout his 20's. He's been busted on a few things (no need to review), but as with most lawbreaker types, I really doubt the full story emerged in any of the cases that have "caught up to him" through the charges themselves. I'm thinking he's skated on 99% of his bullshit, as any manipulative narcissist-type habitual criminal will have done. The car crashes, the dope, the posi-tests, yeah, all the stuff he's been nailed on---what we know about those cases is just a fraction of what really happened.

What catches up to these people isn't ever a set of truly accurate, thorough charges on a given crime. It's the work of other manipulative narcissist-type habitual criminals falling on them. The accuser in this latest case is just giving him a dose of his own medicine, I think we're largely agreed on that. In these situations, we start hearing the word "karma". And people will talk about this stuff using that term, and it works well enough, but I like a simpler formulation like "law of averages".

It's pretty simple. Eventually, every player gets played. Some never seem to come to real justice, be it in the street or the courtroom, but most get a good taste, enough to alter their life for the worse. This latest incident sounds like incomprehensibly stupid club-logic trash, but it was only possible because Jon is STILL running game, playing on the side, scoring a little somethin', sliding by, acting in his own worst-kept-secret reality show. In other words, still doing DUMB shit. Hard to know what to emphasize, "still" or "dumb".

It might not be as outrageously out in the open as it once was, but it hardly matters. Much worse than this is bound to happen to him, because the world isn't that big after all, and fickle people you play around with often become offended or unsatisfied with something. Now their friends and the friends of those friends have motivation that they didn't before. Right? Isn't that what we bet on, if we're wagering on how the next couple of years will turn out?

If I had to say one way or the other, sure. Unfortunately, the law of averages holds no guarantees for gawkers craning their necks for the freeway karmic pileup. Reality shrinks every magnitude except the truly mysterious. That pileup might be a fender bender when you swing around coming from the other direction. So here's the cruel reality. Jon may continue to panther around the party scene, creeping up the strange stairs now and then. He might text some recently acquired bad news amigos and both arrive unspotted by those who would mean harm, and depart unharmed from such one-time scenes. And that might be the pattern forevermore. However much we don't want to hear it, there might not ever be a justice payoff for the audience, which is what we are. We can't snap our fingers and get Shakespeare, with everybody having paid their dues. Jon might age to his career death untouched by the law in any meaningful legal sense, and there might not even be any private payments made, in the sense of spiritual debts via guilt.

That's the possibly nasty surprise ending lurking in all this: that there is no perp walk or career destruction. There is no ending, no narrative crux, but only denouement. A quietness after it's all said and done, except that we don't recall anything profound being said or anything like that being done.

I'm betting with my heart, though, so my wager is on audience payoff.
That was a good read.
 

WoodenPupa

Member
Feb 14, 2015
2,920
3,565
I'm not sure if you gentlemen are aware of this but strip clothes are filthy with video cameras.

My guess is that they have all this shit on video probably told him to give her a bunch of money or else they were going to turn him over to the cops, he told him to go fuck themselves and so they went to the cops.

Usually I would never believe the scummy people who work in strip clubs, but I'd bet my bottom dollar everything is exactly how they say it is and it is all on video.
It might strain even the Devil's advocate, but it's not impossible that when the assault/battery itself occurred, Jones and the waitress were in a camera blind spot area of the club. Unlikely, but can't be ruled out. More likely, IMO, is that the footage was erased, lost, recorded over, etc. It's possible that Jones has an understanding with the owners of the joint.

Jon is transcendentally arrogant, but a lifetime of practicing narcissism I would bet has preemptively helped him out of many a jam. I don't think he would be THAT oblivious and cocky if a video recording that showed everything as stated by the accuser existed. That has to be the case. Consider the accident where he fled the scene, the one that really got him busted. He played that one pretty well and gave himself up after considering options and crafting a strategy with his attorney.

I could be wrong, but if Jones is fucked he's sure acting like he doesn't know it. But being a grandmaster in criminal narcissism, more likely he knows there isn't any footage. The linked article states "multiple witnesses, stand ready to factually refute the malicious lies being told about him to the public.” --- witnesses like this can always help, but if there's no footage (for whatever reason and however its destruction/loss was managed), they'll do more than help. I'm pretty sure they would just win the case for him if it went to trial.

I predict he'll pay a small settlement, and this will be swept under the the table. My 2 cents bruddah.
 
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D241

Banned
Jan 14, 2015
4,384
4,741
That was a good read.
I'm glad you quoted and made that statement blank. I scrolled past his post because it was a long post, but Wooden Pupa has a history of making it known he has a way with words when he post, especially if it's a passionate subject.

He just has a way with words. I rarely read books but if he wrote a book on an interesting subject I'm sure I'd read it end to end.

For example he makes a statement, "hard to know what to emphasize, "still" or "dumb".

My basic bitch self would have dumbed it down to "still doing dumb shit" and put still and dumb in bold, to emphasize. That wouldnt' stand out as much compared to how he worded it.
 

Haulport

Quis Custodiet Ipsos Custodes
First 100
Jan 17, 2015
3,062
4,165
It might strain even the Devil's advocate, but it's not impossible that when the assault/battery itself occurred, Jones and the waitress were in a camera blind spot area of the club. Unlikely, but can't be ruled out. More likely, IMO, is that the footage was erased, lost, recorded over, etc. It's possible that Jones has an understanding with the owners of the joint.

Jon is transcendentally arrogant, but a lifetime of practicing narcissism I would bet has preemptively helped him out of many a jam. I don't think he would be THAT oblivious and cocky if a video recording that showed everything as stated by the accuser existed. That has to be the case. Consider the accident where he fled the scene, the one that really got him busted. He played that one pretty well and gave himself up after considering options and crafting a strategy with his attorney.

I could be wrong, but if Jones is fucked he's sure acting like he doesn't know it. But being a grandmaster in criminal narcissism, more likely he knows there isn't any footage. The linked article states "multiple witnesses, stand ready to factually refute the malicious lies being told about him to the public.” --- witnesses like this can always help, but if there's no footage (for whatever reason and however its destruction/loss was managed), they'll do more than help. I'm pretty sure they would just win the case for him if it went to trial.

I predict he'll pay a small settlement, and this will be swept under the the table. My 2 cents bruddah.
I agree with ur last statement, but a little yayo and a lot of alcohol and Jon is liable to do anything in the moment imo.......
 

so long

Posting Machine
Dec 16, 2015
1,282
2,035
I agree with ur last statement, but a little yayo and a lot of alcohol and Jon is liable to do anything in the moment imo.......
I'm just realizing: remember when he was so swole? maybe that was from all the creatine that they use to cut the coke with



Look into it!
:D
 

WoodenPupa

Member
Feb 14, 2015
2,920
3,565
I'm glad you quoted and made that statement blank. I scrolled past his post because it was a long post, but Wooden Pupa has a history of making it known he has a way with words when he post, especially if it's a passionate subject.

He just has a way with words. I rarely read books but if he wrote a book on an interesting subject I'm sure I'd read it end to end.

For example he makes a statement, "hard to know what to emphasize, "still" or "dumb".

My basic bitch self would have dumbed it down to "still doing dumb shit" and put still and dumb in bold, to emphasize. That wouldnt' stand out as much compared to how he worded it.
Thanks for the kind words. I've FRATTED a great deal, especially in the UG days. Once in a while it doesn't come off as rambling. If it's long but readable, I take that as a win. Thanks again, bruddah!
:cheers: