Lifestyle Let's Talk Vacuum Cleaners

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NotBanjaxo

Formerly someone other than Banjaxo
Nov 16, 2019
8,316
17,736
Don't get a Henry, can't trust that thing, he has severe addiction issues.





 

tang

top korean roofer
Oct 21, 2015
9,398
12,402
Disclaimer - if you're not serious about vacuuming then you can click the back button and fuck off right out of this thread.


So what kind of vacuum do you guys have? I'm gonna go over some research I've done and hopefully this thread will provide personal examples of different vacuum cleaners.

While looking for a vacuum that would trap dust mites without re-releasing them into air, I came across the Asthma and Allergy Foundation of America. Basically they test any product requested by a company and certify it asthma and allergy friendly. They do rigorous testing before certifying any item.

So I'm gonna discuss the pros and cons of each of the 3 main types of vacuums and list my favorites. If you have used any of these vacuums (or any other vacuum), feel free to chime in.

Upright (most popular style in North America)

Pros:
  • widest variety of models
  • Fairly inexpensive
Cons:
  • limited range because of size
  • cord gets in way
Canister (most popular style in Europe)

Pros:
  • Typically stronger suction due to the need to transport dirt/dust/debris a greater distance
  • Better than upright at accessing tight spaces because you aren't moving the entire machine
Cons:
  • popular in Europe
  • have to drag a canister behind you all the time
Cordless/Stick

Pros:

  • convenience - most stick models can be broken down into handheld vacuums that you can literally take anywhere
  • no cord
Cons:
  • short battery life (average 30 mins)
  • most do not have the suction power of an upright or canister vacuum, though that is starting to change with Dyson's latest models
  • EXPENSIVE (minimum $600 for a good one, with the best models costing $800)
Robot

Pros:

  • obviously convenience
Cons:
  • Weak suction

If you click the site I linked above, you'll see that the majority of the vacuums on all lists are made by Dyson. That is no accident. While I used to think Dyson was just overpriced novelty, I now recognize and respect the technology. Their vacuums really are on another level compared to all other vacuum makers. Kenmore also makes a few vacuums on the list, but the upright models are very hard to find and there is no telling how much longer they'll be made because of Sears' pending collapse.

I'm thinking of buying the Dyson Ball Animal 2 (upright) but will probably wait until Black Friday as it costs $500 and I can look to get it for at least 50% off on Black Friday.

Thoughts?
don't waste your money with Dyson products.

I was using the Dyson Ball Animal (standard) for over 5 years. At first, I thought it was powerful and worth the money but the more I used, they were causing more problems.

I have a 50lbs dog that has dual coat so sheds like a motherfucker during spring-summer. Dyson releases dog smell and dust back out. The HEPA is good when it's new but they need consistent replacement. (Dyson does have 5 year warranty though)
Another problem is when you have to clear the dust bin into trash. No matter what you do, the dust will come back out and you either should wear some type of mask that seal good or else you'd be eating this shit.

After awhile, I started having health problems. I'm thinking because I keep swallowing dust mites every time I empty the bin and also get stye eye after the day I vacuum.

we recently moved to a carpeted apartment and the Dyson was creating way more dust so I switched.

Just a plain old school upright bag vacuum (ORECK) commercial. It's less than 200$. I just bought about 50 replacement bags and immediately I feel the difference in breathing, not to mention the suction power of the cord vacuum, but make sure it's the commercial grade.

fuck Dyson, i thought they were the best, but other traditional ones work the best imo
 

nuraknu

savage
Jul 20, 2016
6,247
10,770
I have a kenmore canister from when I moved into my old apartment in 2008 which had a lot of carpeting. Yes, there's the lugging, but it has a really long cord (auto retracts when you step on a button), and it has always worked better than any upright our other relatives purchased over the years. Still going pretty strong too, after 12 years. I don't know if they make kenmore anymore since I heard Sears was dying (but they are still trying to sell me extended service/warranty contracts on my washer and dryer? so idk).
 
T

The Big Guy

Guest
Back in the day there was this skank named rachel. We called her Hoover cause she could suck the life outta you in under a minute. It almost hurt sometimes. She was ugly as fuck and always wanted me to fuck her. I just let her start sucking and then oops!

Better luck next time. I should look this dick demon up and see if I could get a quick polish one day. She lives in sunrise (20 minutes south) and I know she was locked up for getting in a high speed chase in a stolen trunk and rolling it a few times.

Good times
 
T

The Big Guy

Guest
Also I got one of those Dyson vacuums that hang on the wall charger. It works great but it was like 600$ and I forget to empty the canister and now it stinks when I use it. Smells like shitty popcorn.
 

ThatOneDude

Commander in @Chief, Dick Army
First 100
Jan 14, 2015
35,390
34,272
Back in the day there was this skank named rachel. We called her Hoover cause she could suck the life outta you in under a minute. It almost hurt sometimes. She was ugly as fuck and always wanted me to fuck her. I just let her start sucking and then oops!

Better luck next time. I should look this dick demon up and see if I could get a quick polish one day. She lives in sunrise (20 minutes south) and I know she was locked up for getting in a high speed chase in a stolen trunk and rolling it a few times.

Good times
I had one of those, she now lives in a Muslim country and dresses like a ghost.
 

SC MMA MD

TMMAC Addict
Jan 20, 2015
5,715
10,841
Also I got one of those Dyson vacuums that hang on the wall charger. It works great but it was like 600$ and I forget to empty the canister and now it stinks when I use it. Smells like shitty popcorn.
If the cordless ones are like the regular uprights, you can wash the canister occasionally and that will get rid of the odd smell. Toss a dryer sheet in the canister before you use the vacuum and it will smell “clean” when you use it.
 
M

member 3289

Guest
I have a kenmore canister from when I moved into my old apartment in 2008 which had a lot of carpeting. Yes, there's the lugging, but it has a really long cord (auto retracts when you step on a button), and it has always worked better than any upright our other relatives purchased over the years. Still going pretty strong too, after 12 years. I don't know if they make kenmore anymore since I heard Sears was dying (but they are still trying to sell me extended service/warranty contracts on my washer and dryer? so idk).
Cleva makes their vacuums now, and because the vacuum cleaners are so highly rated, I don't see them going anywhere.

But their product availability is terrible, along with their marketing. Two of the models I was looking at have apparently upgraded, but you'd never know unless you spent time researching them.
 
M

member 3289

Guest
Back in the day there was this skank named rachel. We called her Hoover cause she could suck the life outta you in under a minute. It almost hurt sometimes. She was ugly as fuck and always wanted me to fuck her. I just let her start sucking and then oops!
 
T

The Big Guy

Guest
If the cordless ones are like the regular uprights, you can wash the canister occasionally and that will get rid of the odd smell. Toss a dryer sheet in the canister before you use the vacuum and it will smell “clean” when you use it.
Thanks I'll try that. It's a metal canister so I'm sure I can wash it. I was thinking about vacuuming up some baking soda hoping that would help. I'll try your method first
 

La Paix

Fuck this place
First 100
Jan 14, 2015
38,273
64,597
After a quick skim I don’t see anyone mention Miele. German made and best known for canister models. Also rhey are insulated for sound and not overly expensive. Would recommend.

 

Shinkicker

For what it's worth
Jan 30, 2016
10,314
13,916
Hoover windtunnel for pets (even if you don't have pets) and buy an air purifier.

Somebody tell him that. And tell him he's welcome.
 

ThatOneDude

Commander in @Chief, Dick Army
First 100
Jan 14, 2015
35,390
34,272
After a quick skim I don’t see anyone mention Miele. German made and best known for canister models. Also rhey are insulated for sound and not overly expensive. Would recommend.

you fucking NAZI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
 

TFK_Fanboy

First 200ish
Feb 9, 2015
1,652
1,746
I have two dogs that shed. I have a Dyson ball animal 2. It has a sticker that says it has the strongest suction of any vacuum. No idea if true. Based on reputation I’ll probably get a Miele next.

it’s been 2-3 years and I had a basic model but I had a robot vacuum. It infuriated me. Skipped sections while doing other sections multiple times. Kept getting stuck in the same spot. Was more work than me vacuuming so I gave it away. I’m sure smarter models are better
 

Qat

QoQ
Nov 3, 2015
16,385
22,624
But I'd surely buy a Miele, Bosch or Siemens before I'd buy something from the Brits. Not that I am an expert in this topic tho.

If you wanna go for professional stuff maybe look at Kärcher.