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Man Arrested for Eating Bald Eagle

Discussion in 'The Off-topic Lounge' started by jason73, May 13, 2015.

  1. jason73

    jason73 bastard from the north
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    13/05/2015 | COMMENTS: 0 | POSTED BY: CURRENT POST | IN: NEWS

    DALLAS, Texas –

    Texans are calling for the death penalty for a man accused of disrespecting America in the worst possible way, shooting and eating a bald eagle.

    Larry Tucker says the eagle asked for it. “Damn bird kept picking off my chickens so I shot it. A man has a right to protect his livestock from predators.”

    Arrested under the Eagle Protection act, Tucker expected to be fined for poaching and sent on his way. Because he admitted to broiling the bird, he now faces additional charges. Although his lawyer advises him there is no way he will actually get the death penalty, the public outrage against him has really hurt Tucker’s feelings.”

    “I’m not un-American. Got a flag on my front porch like everybody else. I’ve always liked to try different meats, and it would have been a waste if I didn’t eat the damn thing. I truly regret it. Damn thing didn’t even taste good.”
     
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  2. ThatOneDude

    ThatOneDude Commander in @Chief, Dick Army
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    I mean, normally I'd call him a terrorist.... But if he's going to protect his livestock and shoot it, why not eat it instead of wasting it?
     
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  3. MelE5150

    MelE5150 Posting Machine

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    Could've at least stuffed it. White niggas can't cook for shit. Everybody knows you do not broil yard bird. Fucking idiot
     
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  4. ThatOneDude

    ThatOneDude Commander in @Chief, Dick Army
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    Beer Can Bald Eagle.... I'd fuck with it.
     
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  5. MelE5150

    MelE5150 Posting Machine

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    Small roadrunner niblets, a little paprika and thinly sliced dumplings
     
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  6. ThatOneDude

    ThatOneDude Commander in @Chief, Dick Army
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    I don't even know what you just said
     
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  7. MelE5150

    MelE5150 Posting Machine

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    Sigh. You're white huh?
     
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  8. ThatOneDude

    ThatOneDude Commander in @Chief, Dick Army
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    Only from the waist up. Ooooooooooo
     
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  9. MelE5150

    MelE5150 Posting Machine

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    Ayyyeeee image.jpg
     
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  10. jason73

    jason73 bastard from the north
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    are bald eagles really that rare in the united states? we have shit loads of them up here
    if you killed on you would still be charged (unless you are an indian)
    is it more because it is the national animal of america that people are pissed cuz the beaver is our national animal and we openly encourage everyone to eat beaver in canada:p
     
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  11. jason73

    jason73 bastard from the north
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    [​IMG]
     
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  12. MelE5150

    MelE5150 Posting Machine

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    They were almost extinct here about 30 years ago
     
  13. ThatOneDude

    ThatOneDude Commander in @Chief, Dick Army
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    I think they are making a come back though.
     
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  14. MelE5150

    MelE5150 Posting Machine

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    On August 9, 2007, the bald eagle was removed from the federal list of threatened and endangered species. After nearly disappearing from most of the United States decades ago, the bald eagle is now flourishing across the nation and no longer needs the protection of the Endangered Species Act.

    Banned use of ddt and the fuckers are now thriving apparently. Eat up.
     
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  15. jason73

    jason73 bastard from the north
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    that is crazy to me because the all those birds are probably less than 100 km from the washinton border
     
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  16. Sleazy_Martinez

    Sleazy_Martinez Jizzlobber

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    [​IMG]
     
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  17. Sleazy_Martinez

    Sleazy_Martinez Jizzlobber

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    He should have wrapped it in the flag and gave it a proper burial. Pour one out, gun salute etc... the works.
     
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  18. sgotwalks

    sgotwalks First 100
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    I am about to tell an awful story, but back in the 70's my Dad was in a car with a couple of his buddies, and the guy driving who I still know today was heading down some two lane hwy when a bald eagle lands on the road in the other lane to check out an animal carcass or something............in an instant Kenny swerves over and smokes the fucking bird! "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT YOU FUCKING IDIOT?!?!?"

    They weren't too pleased, but when pressed for an explanation all he could offer up was "I don't know, it was a reaction!" I know right, what a defense.

    Years later, late 80's, Kenny was on his way home in the early breakfast hours after a long night on New Year's Eve somewhere in Toronto, still hungover and groggy as fuck I'm sure when he smoked some East Indian man at a bus stop and killed him. Not funny! He went to jail for a couple of years, and apparently the man had stepped off the curb when he was hit, but I've often wondered how much of that was "just a reaction."
     
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  19. Rambo John J

    Rambo John J First 100
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    The first two to 3 years of a bald eagles life they have mottled feathers as seen above in said photo. Upon reaching maturity they assume the more famous and recognizable feather pattern as seen by the adults eagles above.
     
  20. Rambo John J

    Rambo John J First 100
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    Sgotwalks
    WUT at that story. Kenny was loco
     
  21. Pappy Knuckles

    Pappy Knuckles Pick Em 7 & 8 Champion

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    You've got to be a slack-jawed motherfucker to cook up and eat a bird of prey.
     
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  22. sgotwalks

    sgotwalks First 100
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    I know. Believe ME, I know!
     
  23. ThatOneDude

    ThatOneDude Commander in @Chief, Dick Army
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    That's like saying you'd be a lack jawed for eating a tiger killing people in your village, imo, respectfully
     
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  24. Pappy Knuckles

    Pappy Knuckles Pick Em 7 & 8 Champion

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    I hear what you're saying. I'd put tiger meat in the same category, but I have certain convictions about the type of food you should and shouldn't consume. I understand everyone is different, though.
     
  25. ThatOneDude

    ThatOneDude Commander in @Chief, Dick Army
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    Gotcha.
     
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