Man faces prison sentence after 'accidentally killing partner with cucumber used as sex toy'

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jason73

Auslander Raus
First 100
Jan 15, 2015
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His mistress fell into a coma and later died in hospital after he allegedly left a cucumber in her mouth Joern Pollex/Getty Images


A man is facing up to five years in prison after a woman choked to death on a mushy cucumber they were using as a sex toy.

Oliver D, a 46-year-old German, invited his mistress to his apartment while his wife and daughter were out, Bild reports.

They then proceeded to drink four bottles of wine and a large quantity of Schnapps before heading to the bedroom, jurors were told.

The accused reportedly told a court in Mannheim: “We would often use dildos as well as carrots and courgettes in our sex life."

On the day in question, in July 2014, the man said "she didn't have any toys with her, so I grabbed half a cucumber from the kitchen".

He then used the vegetable as a sex toy, before putting it in her mouth. Apparently noticing smoke coming from the kitchen, the man left the room.

"I'd forgotten that I'd put a piece of meat on the stove for my dog. It was burning. I ran to the kitchen, fed the dog and then smoked a cigarette on the balcony," he told the court.

When he returned, she was unconscious on the floor. The cucumber was still lodged in her throat and had cut off her air passage.


"I tried to pull the pieces of cucumber out of her throat. But they were so mushy I couldn't get them all," he explained.

The woman fell into a coma and later died in hospital.

In court, the prosecutor charged that the defendant's actions had been negligent.

State prosecutor Reinhard Hofmann said: "He should have known that he couldn't leave her alone for so long."

The defendant faces up to five years in prison. The judge is set to rule on the case on Friday.
 

Nemo?

Too weird to live, too rare to die.
Dec 2, 2015
4,717
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Glad his dog eat's so well while he left a cucumber in the woman's mouth.

Champion
 

sparkuri

Pulse on the finger of The Cimmunity
First 100
Jan 16, 2015
38,647
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Quite the pickle he's in



On to my next one liner
 
1

1372

Guest
I've left one in her snatch but ffs...In her mouth?

We need her for morning.
 

Ted Williams' head

It's freezing in here!
Sep 23, 2015
11,283
19,071
Haha that's wild. I used to work in the produce section of a grocery store, and one day some fat 50 year old dude in a wifebeater came in and picked up a huge cucumber and came up to me and was like "I think this one will hurt her" in a dumb smile and walked off with it, it was so nasty haha
 

Robbie Hart

All Kamala Voters Are Born Losers, Ha Ha Ha
Feb 13, 2015
51,863
52,184
He then used the vegetable as a sex toy, before putting it in her mouth. Apparently noticing smoke coming from the kitchen, the man left the room.

"I'd forgotten that I'd put a piece of meat on the stove for my dog. It was burning. I ran to the kitchen, fed the dog and then smoked a cigarette on the balcony," he told the court.

When he returned, she was unconscious on the floor. The cucumber was still lodged in her throat and had cut off her air passage.


"I tried to pull the pieces of cucumber out of her throat. But they were so mushy I couldn't get them all," he explained.
.
 

Sweets

All Around Dumbass
Feb 9, 2015
8,794
10,053
"I tried to pull the cucumber from her mouth but the pieces were too mushy." HEIMLICH!! You dumb cunt.
 

Limpy

Banned
Oct 20, 2015
14,813
27,840
So much weirdness. So his wife and kid are out so he invites a whore over, they get drunk on wine and schnapps, in the meantime his dog is hungry so he starts grilling him a steak, his pecker isn't good enough so he gets a cucumber and starts using it on the whore, the dogs steak is burning so he goes to flip it, he pulls out the cucumber and puts it in her mouth, flips the steak, smokes a cig, kills the whore?

Why was the cucumber mushy? How was he nailing the whore with it if it was mushy? Did her twat make it mushy? Was she tied up?

Moral of the story, feed your dog before whores come over.