When faced with a medical issue in an embarrassing part of the body, it’s only natural to be reluctant to go to the hospital. Take hemorrhoids for example; it’s hard having to confess your painful blood-filled piles to a receptionist and medical staff, least of all show them to the doc. And after all, time heals all wounds, doesn’t it?
Not for a 54-year-old man working in Hangzhou City, China, who had been experiencing hemorrhoidal pain for about 10 years. But rather than go to a hospital, he decided to take matters into his own hands and remove the hemorrhoids himself… using a small toy sword.
The following is a cautionary tale urging everyone to seek professional medical help whenever they feel something is wrong. Trust me, you don’t want to end up like this guy did.
On the morning of 7 October, the man whose name was reported but we’ll just call Mr. Kao (he’s been through enough), could no longer take the sharp pains in his anus and decided to try to cut out his hemorrhoids himself.
A short time later, a call came into Kao’s office. A co-worker answered and was greeted by a somber sounding Kao (who looks much younger in his photos than reports would lead us to believe), who informed him: “I can’t come into work today. I have a sword stuck in my ass…”
The sword in question was some type of key chain measuring about 10 centimeters in length. It was a type of broad fantasy-style scimitar that had a few pointed parts that could easily hook into flesh. You may take a moment to squirm now.
After what must have been a few awkward exchanges, the co-worker rushed Kao to Sir Run Run Shaw Hospital to have the sword removed. As bleak as Kao’s predicament was, it only got worse when members of the media happened to be on the scene as well. As Kao lay in a stretcher awaiting his King Arthur, he was ambushed by reporters asking him for details.
Reporter: “Where you crouching over the mirror while you were trying to do it?”
Kao: “Yeah…”
Reporter: “Did it accidentally slip while you were trying to sit down?”
Kao: “Yeah…”
Reporter: “You were squatting for a long time weren’t you? Then you had to sit down and…”
Kao: “Yeah…”
Luckily, doctors were able to remove the sword without incident and Kao spent a few days of recovery in the hospital. However, it was then that a doctor dealt him the worst blow of all informing Kao: “You never had any hemorrhoids.”
As embarrassing Kao’s imaginary hemorrhoids making the evening news was, he turned out okay and may even look back on this someday and laugh. Others might not be so lucky, so anytime you feel your health is in question, don’t let your pride get in the way and be sure to get yourself checked out sooner rather than later
