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Punch

Guest
Golden rule of deployment for us were
Eat whenever u can,
Shit whenever u can,
Sleep whenever u can,
But only the first one is applicable cuz u can at least carry an item or two in ur cargo pocket
 

tang

top korean roofer
Oct 21, 2015
9,398
12,402
U won't shit for a week if u eat MREs everyday. The preservatives in it are so strong it makes it into a rock inside and maximum constipation occurs.
Only way u can shit is to constantly eat more MREs, so the shit keeps on piling up inside. the new Shit will push out the old shit to make room. So when u shit at the end of the week, (porta johns if lucky, usually have a trench dug up by corpsman if outside of wire, or dig a hole wit ur e-tool and use that as a seat [thats a whole another thread on different ways to shit in the field]) u'll start seeing these monster logs everywhere and actually kind of amazed at that those things came out of people's assholes.
U think u can solve this problem by drinkng the milk shake but ur wrong. U'll end up with some heinous gas and still won't be able to shit unless it's time. just FYI for all
 
P

Punch

Guest
U won't shit for a week if u eat MREs everyday. The preservatives in it are so strong it makes it into a rock inside and maximum constipation occurs.
Only way u can shit is to constantly eat more MREs, so the shit keeps on piling up inside. the new Shit will push out the old shit to make room. So when u shit at the end of the week, (porta johns if lucky, usually have a trench dug up by corpsman if outside of wire, or dig a hole wit ur e-tool and use that as a seat [thats a whole another thread on different ways to shit in the field]) u'll start seeing these monster logs everywhere and actually kind of amazed at that those things came out of people's assholes.
U think u can solve this problem by drinkng the milk shake but ur wrong. U'll end up with some heinous gas and still won't be able to shit unless it's time. just FYI for all
You basically turn into one of these:

You push one mre in the mouth and one falls out of your ass. Agree 100%
 

pattitude

Posting Machine
Pro Fighter
Oct 25, 2015
909
1,037
I was in the Lincoln and Welland Regiment (CAF Reserves, or what we called the Militia) from '90 to '95.

I can tell you from personal experience, our IMPs were not even close to what they have now! Sure. that dude gets to sit at home and make his meals, but you realistically don't have time to prepare anything to that degree.

I was never even deployed overseas, but I still never had time to eat an IMP properly. The ones we had needed a pot to boil them in. We didn't have the cool thermo pouch thing the States had.

Our only consistently hot meal came from hay boxes. But that was a double-edged sword because if the cooks, or the GD guys, didn't clean them properly it was a literally a shit-show. And even if everything was clean, if you didn't get the hay boxes in time the food would cool to a bacteria-friendly level. Again, another shit-show. Oh, but I saw many officers who had the ways and means to have a Big Mac out in the field and would laugh at us while we ate IMPs. I fucking hate (most) officers!

Every once in a while, when we trained with an American regiment, we'd get some MREs. They were great by comparison! Why?
Tabasco sauce! It makes even the blandest shit taste better!
 
P

Punch

Guest
I was in the Lincoln and Welland Regiment (CAF Reserves, or what we called the Militia) from '90 to '95.

I can tell you from personal experience, our IMPs were not even close to what they have now! Sure. that dude gets to sit at home and make his meals, but you realistically don't have time to prepare anything to that degree.

I was never even deployed overseas, but I still never had time to eat an IMP properly. The ones we had needed a pot to boil them in. We didn't have the cool thermo pouch thing the States had.

Our only consistently hot meal came from hay boxes. But that was a double-edged sword because if the cooks, or the GD guys, didn't clean them properly it was a literally a shit-show. And even if everything was clean, if you didn't get the hay boxes in time the food would cool to a bacteria-friendly level. Again, another shit-show. Oh, but I saw many officers who had the ways and means to have a Big Mac out in the field and would laugh at us while we ate IMPs. I fucking hate (most) officers!

Every once in a while, when we trained with an American regiment, we'd get some MREs. They were great by comparison! Why?
Tabasco sauce! It makes even the blandest shit taste better!
You guys don't get tabasco issued in Canada? Damn! The struggle is real homie.
 

pattitude

Posting Machine
Pro Fighter
Oct 25, 2015
909
1,037
We would actually hoard that shit! Or trade it for a tube of honey or peanut butter. I always traded for tabasco so I had a nice little store for when we had to have IMPs. It was really good with the lasagna (in a bag, when you had the time to boil it).

I just got to the point where I'd buy my own at the Canex.
 

tang

top korean roofer
Oct 21, 2015
9,398
12,402
You guys don't get tabasco issued in Canada? Damn! The struggle is real homie.
that sux. All of those little things are useful. The little tabasco sauce, the little toilet papers, the little sugar/salt packets, the little matches that never works, etc.. I think the old vietnam era c-rats came with cigarettes (lucky strikes). how cool it be if the newest MREs came with a little joint ready to go :cool::cool:
 

pattitude

Posting Machine
Pro Fighter
Oct 25, 2015
909
1,037
Up until about the early 80's, dinner IMPs came with 3 smokes. I was a kid then, but a few of my Sergeants and W.O.s confirmed it.

The DND stopped issuing smokes because the ranks would trade smokes for doing shit duties like fire picket and sentry duty. The gov't didn't give a shit about our health! Lol!
 

Lord Vutulaki

Banned
Jan 16, 2015
16,651
5,956
Up until about the early 80's, dinner IMPs came with 3 smokes. I was a kid then, but a few of my Sergeants and W.O.s confirmed it.

The DND stopped issuing smokes because the ranks would trade smokes for doing shit duties like fire picket and sentry duty. The gov't didn't give a shit about our health! Lol!
I don't believe that any government gives a fuck about their populations health. Just reducing the burden on the health care
$y$tem. Suppose even thats not an issue when they are sending you off to die.
 

Passive Jay

Not Worthy
Oct 21, 2015
2,223
4,097
Golden rule of deployment for us were
Eat whenever u can,
Shit whenever u can,
Sleep whenever u can,
But only the first one is applicable cuz u can at least carry an item or two in ur cargo pocket

I was never deployed but I learn that in basic training! Never pass up an opportunity to eat, shit, or sleep because you do not know how long it will be until you get another chance.

(forgot to put a couple comma's in that last sentence, it read WAY different before I edited it)
 
Apr 3, 2015
6,783
8,887
What did you try it on? Do you not like other spicy foods?
I have tried it by itself and on other things. its disgusting. I dont mind spicy foods but they are not my forte. seriously though, I cant imagine how people enjoy that shit. every other hot sauce I have tasted is better. and we have about 30 different ones in our fridge (my wife is a hot sauce aficionado.)
 

IschKabibble

TMMAC Addict
First 100
Jan 15, 2015
15,829
21,573
I have tried it by itself and on other things. its disgusting. I dont mind spicy foods but they are not my forte. seriously though, I cant imagine how people enjoy that shit. every other hot sauce I have tasted is better. and we have about 30 different ones in our fridge (my wife is a hot sauce aficionado.)
If I had a choice, I'd go Louisiana, but I like Tabasco on scrambled eggs. Best way to start the day. Puts hair on your chest, too.
 

pattitude

Posting Machine
Pro Fighter
Oct 25, 2015
909
1,037
Tabasco is disgusting. easily one of the worst things I have ever tasted.... and if that stuff is making these MRE's better to eat I could only imagine what they taste like!
Dude, IMPs taste like a bland shit had a bland shit or just straight up gross. I used to eat everything except for the "meal" in the meal pack. Crackers, honey, peanut-butter even raw coffee. Why? Because you knew that some IMPs would give you the shits!

Tobasco gave our shit some actual taste and, in my opinion, killed anything nasty that would fuck your stomach over.
 

Rambo John J

Eats things that would make a Billy Goat Puke
First 100
Jan 17, 2015
71,541
71,465

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JwKTZUuRHK4


can't find steve1989 thread cause search is broken

Notoriously hailed as one of the worst Canadian IMP menus ever made, Omelette with Salsa has a very descriptive nickname. Find out if it is a well deserved one, or is this menu actually not bad and one that should still be made? Find out, if you have the courage!
 

SongExotic2

ATM 3 CHAMPION OF THE WORLD. #FREECAIN
First 100
Jan 16, 2015
39,772
53,672
I was never deployed but I learn that in basic training! Never pass up an opportunity to eat, shit, or sleep because you do not know how long it will be until you get another chance.

(forgot to put a couple comma's in that last sentence, it read WAY different before I edited it)
This motherfucker never made it out of basic.

"I never deployed but"


Yea no shit goof
 

SongExotic2

ATM 3 CHAMPION OF THE WORLD. #FREECAIN
First 100
Jan 16, 2015
39,772
53,672
"because you do not know how long it will be until you get another chance"

Yea must have been scary in sickbay complaining your feet are too flat and you want out.

Fuck outta here, idiot
 

sparkuri

Pulse On The Finger Of The Community
First 100
Jan 16, 2015
34,420
46,562

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JwKTZUuRHK4


can't find steve1989 thread cause search is broken

Notoriously hailed as one of the worst Canadian IMP menus ever made, Omelette with Salsa has a very descriptive nickname. Find out if it is a well deserved one, or is this menu actually not bad and one that should still be made? Find out, if you have the courage!
"OH! ...This is awful..."
*gobble gobble*
"Oh, yeah, that's bad"
*gobble gobble *
"Yeah, no crunch at all"
*gobble gobble *
"Poorly thought out meal...there's just..."
*gobble gobble *
"It's just mush"
*gobble gobble *

o_O