Society NEED HELP - Tips on being Canadian

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M

member 3289

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I don't want to actually become Canadian, but I do want to at least pretend to be one when I travel to Singapore in April.

Sorry my American brothers, but I just won't be able to tolerate the endless comments from people on how big of a tard our President is and the non-stop questions asking me how the Big Orange Goon even got elected (I voted for Hillary myself but saying that won't be enough).

Things I've got covered:

- Accent: Americans and Canadians sound the same for the most part, especially if they're educated like me.

I'm gonna say I'm from Ontario since Ontarians typically sound like us or at worst like someone from Chicago or Wisconsin.

- Appearance: Despite the fact that I am a Miami (metropolitan area) native, I'm fairly pale, so no one will question that.

Things I need help with:

- Political History: besides Trudeau's dad and that Harper guy before Trudeau, I don't even know who's led your country like ever.

The King/Queen of England has been the boss until like 30 years ago iirc, but I am shit with my post-1776 English monarchs as well. Any help here would be greatly appreciated.

- Sports: Fml I'm gonna have to learn the rules of hockey. I can look up the basics by myself for the most part, but I need you guys to help me feign excitement for the actual game.

So any tips on how slapping a small black puck back and forth on ice so fast that you can't see it most of the time would be greatly appreciated. Also, Gretzky is still the GOAT, right? Or is it that Crosberry kid?

- Current Political Mood: Is Trudeau as popular as he was when he took office?

And how do "we" feel about the Quebecois? Fuck those French bastards or it's a sensitive issue and I'd rather not talk about it?

Anything else I should know feel free to comment.

Thanks in advance bros.
 
Robbie Hart

Robbie Hart

All Biden Voters Are Mindless Sheep
Feb 13, 2015
49,761
50,749
Accent wise, you have to accentuate the o in every word.......
 
M

member 3289

Guest
Robbie Hart said:
Accent wise, you have to accentuate the o in every word.......
Click to expand...
I've started saying "SOAR-ree" all the time so that it becomes automatic by April, but that's all I'm really going to worry about.

I can't even tell the difference between Americans and Canadians half the fucking time so I'm not really worried.
 
Splinty

Splinty

Shake 'em off
Admin
Dec 31, 2014
44,116
91,096
Have a good trip. Why are you going?

I've skipped Singapore on all all of my trip to Southeast Asia because of the high cost compared to its neighbors.

I hope to visit when I can time my off period to the Grand Prix
 
1

1372

Guest
Splinty said:
Have a good trip. Why are you going?

I've skipped Singapore on all all of my trip to Southeast Asia because of the high cost compared to its neighbors.

I hope to visit when I can time my off period to the Grand Prix
Click to expand...
I've been quite a few times...Stayed at raffles on one of the trips...Really nice hotel but definitely not cheap.
 
Splinty

Splinty

Shake 'em off
Admin
Dec 31, 2014
44,116
91,096
Your best bet is to be from Ontario. And even better to just be from Toronto. Any American mannerisms will be best excused that way.

"Hi there, I'm @conor mcgregor nut hugger and I'm visiting you from the only city in Canada that matters, Toronto. I love Don Cherry, the Leafs, poutine, ketchup chips, and gravy on items that don't call for gravy. Sorry.
I'm secretly proud that my ancestors once burned down the White House but try not to mention it since 95% of us live along the US border...but we burnt that shit to the ground. (sidenote Miami libtard, you're probably proud of that too).
Now enough about me, if I could just exchange these loonies and toonies for some Singapore dollars I'd like to order a double-double please."

I'm pretty sure that should cover you for a very normal, not suspicious, opening at any old coffee shop.
 
La Paix

La Paix

Fuck this place
First 100
Jan 14, 2015
38,273
64,597
conor mcgregor nut hugger said:
I don't want to actually become Canadian, but I do want to at least pretend to be one when I travel to Singapore in April.

Sorry my American brothers, but I just won't be able to tolerate the endless comments from people on how big of a tard our President is and the non-stop questions asking me how the Big Orange Goon even got elected (I voted for Hillary myself but saying that won't be enough).

Things I've got covered:

- Accent: Americans and Canadians sound the same for the most part, especially if they're educated like me.

I'm gonna say I'm from Ontario since Ontarians typically sound like us or at worst like someone from Chicago or Wisconsin.

- Appearance: Despite the fact that I am a Miami (metropolitan area) native, I'm fairly pale, so no one will question that.

Things I need help with:

- Political History: besides Trudeau's dad and that Harper guy before Trudeau, I don't even know who's led your country like ever.

The King/Queen of England has been the boss until like 30 years ago iirc, but I am shit with my post-1776 English monarchs as well. Any help here would be greatly appreciated.

- Sports: Fml I'm gonna have to learn the rules of hockey. I can look up the basics by myself for the most part, but I need you guys to help me feign excitement for the actual game.

So any tips on how slapping a small black puck back and forth on ice so fast that you can't see it most of the time would be greatly appreciated. Also, Gretzky is still the GOAT, right? Or is it that Crosberry kid?

- Current Political Mood: Is Trudeau as popular as he was when he took office?

And how do "we" feel about the Quebecois? Fuck those French bastards or it's a sensitive issue and I'd rather not talk about it?

Anything else I should know feel free to comment.

Thanks in advance bros.
Click to expand...
Accent - Pretty solid game plan imo. Most if not all Canadians dream of coming west to BC so hearing local or international accent isn't unusual.

Appearance - Buy some plaid and denim, you'll be just fine.

Political history - Unless you're in a French speaking area...



Sports - Blue puck slow, red puck fast.

That was your guys idea lol. But seriously if anyone mentions hockey just just chanting "GSP! GSP! GSP!"


Political mood -


JT is fuct.


Some side notes for you.

- No Uber around these parts so keep that to yourself.

- Having an immigrant wife will big a strong asset.

- Learn to respect the weed, love the weed. No more comments about how lame it is or how stoners have poor life choices and wrinkly clothes.

- Colour, favour, pop not soda, y'all, being obese...these type of things will blow your cover right quick.

- Be nicer to strangers, much much nicer.

- When in doubt say sorry
 
HEATH VON DOOM

HEATH VON DOOM

Remember the 5th of November
Oct 21, 2015
17,281
24,721
Make sure you spit everywhere on the street. Especially in front of the cops. Start drinking piss warm beer because its so fucking hot there their idea of cold is completely fucked. Go see the Merlion.
 
1

1372

Guest
HEATH VON DOOM said:
Make sure you spit everywhere on the street. Especially in front of the cops. Start drinking piss warm beer because its so fucking hot there their idea of cold is completely fucked. Go see the Merlion.
Click to expand...
Also chew some gum and walk on the grass in front of buildings.
 
M

member 3289

Guest
BirdWatcher said:
y'all...these type of things will blow your cover right quick.
Click to expand...
I have never actually said this as the plural form of "you" anyway.

Its usage is restricted to people who have at the very least one grandparent born of incest.
 
BeardOfKnowledge

BeardOfKnowledge

The Most Consistent Motherfucker You Know
Jul 22, 2015
60,549
56,269
conor mcgregor nut hugger said:
I don't want to actually become Canadian, but I do want to at least pretend to be one when I travel to Singapore in April.

Sorry my American brothers, but I just won't be able to tolerate the endless comments from people on how big of a tard our President is and the non-stop questions asking me how the Big Orange Goon even got elected (I voted for Hillary myself but saying that won't be enough).

Things I've got covered:

- Accent: Americans and Canadians sound the same for the most part, especially if they're educated like me.

I'm gonna say I'm from Ontario since Ontarians typically sound like us or at worst like someone from Chicago or Wisconsin.

- Appearance: Despite the fact that I am a Miami (metropolitan area) native, I'm fairly pale, so no one will question that.

Things I need help with:

- Political History: besides Trudeau's dad and that Harper guy before Trudeau, I don't even know who's led your country like ever.

The King/Queen of England has been the boss until like 30 years ago iirc, but I am shit with my post-1776 English monarchs as well. Any help here would be greatly appreciated.

- Sports: Fml I'm gonna have to learn the rules of hockey. I can look up the basics by myself for the most part, but I need you guys to help me feign excitement for the actual game.

So any tips on how slapping a small black puck back and forth on ice so fast that you can't see it most of the time would be greatly appreciated. Also, Gretzky is still the GOAT, right? Or is it that Crosberry kid?

- Current Political Mood: Is Trudeau as popular as he was when he took office?

And how do "we" feel about the Quebecois? Fuck those French bastards or it's a sensitive issue and I'd rather not talk about it?

Anything else I should know feel free to comment.

Thanks in advance bros.
Click to expand...
Here's the good news. No one will give a fuck where you're from.
 
M

member 3289

Guest
ConorMcGregorsBeard said:
To me, no. To the other humanoids who live here, yes.
Click to expand...
Ok tell me which of these phonetic spellings make sense:

Again: uh-GAYN or uh-GEN

Against: uh-GAYNST or uh-GENST

If I'm speaking naturally I'd go with the latter option in each case, but I have heard Canadians use the former...
 
La Paix

La Paix

Fuck this place
First 100
Jan 14, 2015
38,273
64,597
conor mcgregor nut hugger said:
La Paix @BirdWatcher BeardOfKnowledge @ConorMcGregorsBeard The word "sorry" rhymes with "Rory" and not with "starry", correct?
Click to expand...
Rory and sorry sound the same.
conor mcgregor nut hugger said:
Ok tell me which of these phonetic spellings make sense:

Again: uh-GAYN or uh-GEN

Against: uh-GAYNST or uh-GENST

If I'm speaking naturally I'd go with the latter option in each case, but I have heard Canadians use the former...
Click to expand...
I never considered these things and now I don't know what's natural. I think option 1 for both.
 
BeardOfKnowledge

BeardOfKnowledge

The Most Consistent Motherfucker You Know
Jul 22, 2015
60,549
56,269
conor mcgregor nut hugger said:
Ok tell me which of these phonetic spellings make sense
Click to expand...
I hear both frequently. Keep in mind, people in a place where English isn't the first language won't be able to pick up the nuance of a specific North American accent. The real power move, if you are specifically asked, is to say you moved after Trump won the election.
 
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