Parenting: the Official TMMAC Thread

Discussion in 'The Off-topic Lounge' started by Kneeblock, Oct 3, 2016.

  1. Kneeblock

    Kneeblock Jumbo shrimp

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    Yesterday I was hanging with my kids and thinking about what a clueless idiot I was when I first became a dad. I wouldn't say I'm less clueless as kids are an ongoing challenge full of unpredictability, but I'd like to think I've gotten at least a little better at it.

    Being a parent is hard. It sucks often. It's occasionally punctuated by the highest of highs where you feel on top of the world only to be followed by having to wipe a diarrhea covered butt or hurriedly exit a store in the middle of a meltdown. And it only gets more challenging as they creep closer to adulthood.

    So I propose we use this thread as a place to talk about the ups and downs, give each other occasional advice and just vent when needed. It could be therapeutic for those of us actively raising the next generation and could serve as TMMAC's own guide to parenting for newbies.

    [​IMG]
     
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  2. Punch

    Punch ...

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    My daughter's 2. Last night in the bath she looked at my old lady and said, "Mommy, what's that?" pointing at her crotch. She tells her it's her vagina, to which my little one spreads her labia and goes "Ta-daa!"...

    ...i'm in for a lot of trouble i think.
     
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  3. Kneeblock

    Kneeblock Jumbo shrimp

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    /thread.
     
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  4. HEATH VON DOOM

    HEATH VON DOOM Remember the 5th of November

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    This is why I am thankfull for having a boy.
     
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  5. Kneeblock

    Kneeblock Jumbo shrimp

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    Really? I don't think my son's hand has left his penis for more than 2 minutes a day in 8 years. Much weirder.
     
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  6. Punch

    Punch ...

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    Lol!
     
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  7. SlapheadGiraffe

    SlapheadGiraffe Posting Machine

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    You want clueless...
    We adopted our little man at exactly 6 months old and had two weeks notice!
    We went to Mothercare (UK kids shop) and explained to one of the assistants he was coming home forever in two days and we had no idea what to buy.
    Didn't understand sterilisation, how often he needs feeding, anything.

    Fortunately she was brilliant. We spent just over £3,000 (needed clothes, cot, buggy, changing table, toys, books etc.) and even got a parking fine because we stayed more than 3 hours!

    Anyway, that was 3 years ago.
    We were walking back from nursery the other day and s lady was coming the other direction in a red coat.
    He went up to her, pointed upstairs and said "I like red boobies, they are my favourites "

    It's going to be a long few years until he leaves home ;)
     
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  8. BootScraper

    BootScraper Posting Machine
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    I'm definitely not ready to have a kid yet. These both sound like things I still do today.
     
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  9. Kneeblock

    Kneeblock Jumbo shrimp

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    I got to watch my son score his first touchdown in flag football yesterday and also successfully taught him how to ride a bike.

    This was followed by having to yell at both he and his sister for crawling under the table to practice upkicks on each other at the celebratory luncheon.

    It's like scrolling through a facebook newsfeed. You see some hilarious gif involving a mime and a dolphin doing a performance art piece dedicated to Aquaman followed by a horrible story of 30 people losing their lives in a suicide bombing.
     
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  10. Chief

    Chief Beer
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    Wait till your wife starts complaining about crunchy towels and her missing lotion.
     
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  11. Shinkicker

    Shinkicker For what it's worth

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    Tip: Once your boys hit preteen years, NEVER turn their socks right side out before washing.
     
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  12. Chief

    Chief Beer
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    Parenthood sure is a roller coaster. I've raise 3 kids. 26 year old boy, 24 year old girl and the youngest is a 17 year old boy.

    I feel like I've been through it all with the exception of life threatening medical conditions or a death, but the reality is, there is still so much more to go through and the ride never ends no matter their ages.
     
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  13. Ministry of Silly Walks

    Ministry of Silly Walks came in like a wrecking ball
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    I often cuss if I stub my toes. One day my two year old came running at me, stubbed his toe on a toy, and said "good god damn". I got "the look" from his mom. Its going to be a long ride.
     
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  14. Limpy

    Limpy Banned

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    How old are you? I thought you were around my age.

    Sounds like you are enjoying being a parent. Good stuff.
     
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  15. Greenbean

    Greenbean Well-Known Member

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    Twin boys going on 3. I don't have a fucking clue yet.
     
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  16. Kingtony87

    Kingtony87 Batman

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    Little girl just turned one less than 2 weeks ago. I always says it's the most incredible, difficult, amazing, draining, and rewarding thing I've ever day. And i know I've barely started. What worries me most is she takes after me already.
     
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  17. BirdWatcher

    BirdWatcher Can jersey anybody I want
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    A week ago my 5 year old son comes in from our patio after cleaning the cat box. He's proud of a job well done so he holds up the plastic bag and announces "CAT SHIT!" I do the blank stare at him, then to the wife, then him...I guess he thinks I didn't hear so he tries again "CAT SHIIIIIIIT!" It took all my power to not burst out laughing, I just said atta boy and pointed him to go outside and dump it.

    I can explain how cursing is considered inappropriate at times but I still listen to rap and I'm worried about one of them dropping the N bomb one time when company is over, not sure where I'd start with that one.
     
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  18. Ministry of Silly Walks

    Ministry of Silly Walks came in like a wrecking ball
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    I've kind of been there already. I helped raise my niece years ago, and there are very few people of color here. We had to go to Walmart for some reason, but I always got her a little treat from the snack isle. When we were there, the church crowd had let out, so the few black people in the area were now shopping. We had one parent come from one side of the isle, and the mother and three of their kids entered from the other side. My niece looked at the dad walking toward us, then to the mom and kids, then right at me, and said "we gotta get out of here". I fucking died, and explained that she's never seen a different skin color, and those people took it so well. They talked to her for a second, but I always wonder if they really believed me.
     
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  19. Chief

    Chief Beer
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    I'm 40 years old. My oldest 2 are step children who I've raised since they were 3 and 5 years old. The 17 year old is the son I have with my wife of 20 years.
     
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  20. Nemo?

    Nemo? Too weird to live, too rare to die.

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    My daughter want's to be Batgirl for Halloween(she's 5)....that's all me.
     
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  21. BJTT_Kiwi

    BJTT_Kiwi My member is more well known than yours

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    [​IMG]


    Jokes - I love mine (she's 2), but it's very hard work.
     
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  22. girlandcoconut

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    Had to drop in and say y'all are doing the most epic, hardest job in the world and I give you all props!
     
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  23. maurice

    maurice Well-Known Member

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    10YO and 6YO boys. I love every minute with them...almost.

    I often tell new parents that it gets better when the youngest is out of diapers and able to understand threats.
     
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  24. Leigh

    Leigh Professional Fighter
    Moderator Pro Fighter

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    My kids are little arseholes
     
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  25. Lord Vutulaki

    Lord Vutulaki Banned

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    In the still pictures youve posted they look like angels, not sure about what they are like in motion though.

    Funny kids story, last year we had visitors from England, by the time they turned up to the BBQ everyone was pretty tipsy so one of my friends (Aussie from originally from Britain) told our kids to watch and learn how "Proper British children behave" and that if they are naughty "the Queen mum comes around with a wooden spoon and smacks them".

    Those little British brats wasted no time in declaring that theyd have the Queen mum arrested for child abuse if she laid a hand on them lol good times.
     
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