Lifestyle Phantom Boners

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Nemo?

Too weird to live, too rare to die.
Dec 2, 2015
4,714
7,898
I will add to this later but does anyone have any funny phantom boner stories?

This crippling situation has happened to all of us and this thread is a safe space people.
 

Papi Chingon

Domesticated Hombre
Oct 19, 2015
25,478
32,248
"I used to hang out at this gay bar and it was such a fun place with a friendly attitude. I'm not gay, but I just enjoyed the company of all these nice men, plus the drinks were cheap. Anyways, this one night one of my new friends was sitting on my lap in assless chaps. We were just talking and he was rubbing his fingers through my hair. He asked me if I wanted a Dutch oven. Thinking it was a mixed drink I said sure. He leaned to the side, unzipped my pants, and then put his ass on my cock and farted. Instant phantom boner. Boy, that was awkward."
- vutu
Post 13,756
 

Sex Chicken

Exotic Dancer
Sep 8, 2015
25,819
59,498
I was once rollerblading down by the pier, and I stopped at a coffee shop to get a Caramel Machiato with extra foam. Anyways out of nowhere I started reminiscing about the time I saw my Aunt Debbie's bikini top fall off on a water slide. I looked down at my bike shorts and saw that I had popped a boner, when I turned to leave, my boner knocked an entire of table of drinks on to the floor. It was quite embarrassing.
 
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Rambo John J

Eats things that would make a Billy Goat Puke
First 100
Jan 17, 2015
71,545
71,469
like only you can see it?

they call that a micro peen.....CMNH did a Q&A about his...Look into it
 

Pitbull9

Daddy
Jan 28, 2015
9,832
14,130
The only time I don't even want to fuck is when I'm like 4 weeks out from a show and I'm just hurting and real low Cals.
 

Robbie Hart

All Biden Voters Are Mindless Sheep
Feb 13, 2015
49,706
50,710
I’ve just recently undergone cock reduction surgery..........
 

SongExotic2

ATM 3 CHAMPION OF THE WORLD. #FREECAIN
First 100
Jan 16, 2015
39,772
53,672
"I used to hang out at this gay bar and it was such a fun place with a friendly attitude. I'm not gay, but I just enjoyed the company of all these nice men, plus the drinks were cheap. Anyways, this one night one of my new friends was sitting on my lap in assless chaps. We were just talking and he was rubbing his fingers through my hair. He asked me if I wanted a Dutch oven. Thinking it was a mixed drink I said sure. He leaned to the side, unzipped my pants, and then put his ass on my cock and farted. Instant phantom boner. Boy, that was awkward."
- vutu
Post 13,756