General Pussification of 'Murica, Part II

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maurice

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Oct 21, 2015
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I could just add these observations to the old thread, but Mix would disapprove.

Over the past 2 days, I've coached almost 30 different kids in basketball, ages 8 to 14. I use a lot of repetitive coaching cues like "hands up," but the most common cue this week was "shut up." I don't really feel like explaining a drill 3 times because some kid thought this was a book club meeting and wanted to share his deepest feelings with the team instead of listening. Talk all you want when practice is over.

I say "his" deliberately. I coach both boys and girls, but (contrary to stereotype) it's almost always a boy chatting away because his mommy and daddy always stifle themselves so they can listen to every dumb thing that pops into his very precious brain. The girls pay attention because they want to do it right the first time.

Second most common thing I said: "tie your shoes." Most of the time, I end up having to tie them myself. Kids today grow up with this Velcro shit and don't learn to tie them well until something like 5th grade. (Except for the wrestler kids; they can all tie them just fine.) When I was a kid, that shit was as basic as ABCs. You'd flunk out of kindergarten and be teased relentlessly if you couldn't tie your fucking shoes.

Third most common thing: "No, you can't have a water break during the 5 minute warm up." From now on, I'm going to start every practice with, "Tie your shoes, use the bathroom, and drink water now, because we're not taking a break for 30 to 45 mins."
 

maurice

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Oct 21, 2015
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Every team I've ever coached has 1 or 2 kids who are afraid of the ball and cower whenever you pass it to them, even after they've played the sport for 3+ years. I'm not talking a pitched or batted hard baseball. I'm talking a big, orange, rubber ball filled with air. God forbid a rebound goes anywhere near them. They duck and cover like somebody is shooting a fully automatic rifle.

Can't really blame the kids here either. I just assume nobody in this category even wants to play the sport, but their dads won't let them quit because they're tall for their age or whatever. Occasionally I'll see the dads at the park with their sons, which is great in theory and hopefully brings them closer. But all the dad ever does is hand the kid the ball and encourage him to shoot it from point blank range...a shot they'll never get in the game since they can't dribble, catch a pass, or rebound.

I once made the mistake of pointing out to a dad that, if he wants his kid to actually score in the game, he should just play catch and throw the ball progressively harder until the kid can catch passes and rebounds. The dad responded, "That's just mean."
 

Hauler

Unknown Member
Feb 3, 2016
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Good on you for doing what you can.

I'm sure every generation has said the same shit about the youngsters of their time, but I agree. Kids today are a bunch of pussy willows.
 

Grateful Dude

TMMAC Addict
May 30, 2016
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maurice @maurice
Get these kids on the Ron Swanson's Pyramid of Greatness. Sounds like they need it :D



Unfortunately, you're not the first person of heard these kind of things from. I have some buds that coach or are leaders of Scout troops, etc. There are some soft kids out there. Hauler @Hauler is probably right - every prior generation has probably said the same thing. Except it used to be "so-n-so is a sissy because he never fought in battle". But nowadays kids are scared of catching a basketball :rolleyes:

I think I got this off of the need a laugh thread, but it's also appropriate here.

 
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Dave Insurgent

Johnny hates to think, he's ignorant
Jan 11, 2016
13,461
13,391
What I dont get is, this new generation of weak kids... were raised by these 'tough' 70's / 80's kids. So clearly the generation raising these pussies did something wrong.
 
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maurice

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Oct 21, 2015
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True. The difference now is that it's no longer frowned upon because of the rise of "everything is beautiful" culture. Hell, if players tried to push their teammates to improve, they'd probably be labeled "bullies."

I'm not talking about some kid with a physical disability who is inherently unable to do things. These are simply kids who do not perform the necessary practice reps because they're playing XBox or something.

I can only assume that their parents think the actually good players are simply "lucky." There's an element of truth in that later but, in this age range, the best players are simply the players who practice the most.

Two of my teams have players who have attended zero practices all year, but I'd bet a large sum of money that their parents will bring them to the first game in full uniform "ready" to play.
 

Zeph

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Jan 22, 2015
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True. The difference now is that it's no longer frowned upon because of the rise of "everything is beautiful" culture. Hell, if players tried to push their teammates to improve, they'd probably be labeled "bullies."

I'm not talking about some kid with a physical disability who is inherently unable to do things. These are simply kids who do not perform the necessary practice reps because they're playing XBox or something.

I can only assume that their parents think the actually good players are simply "lucky." There's an element of truth in that later but, in this age range, the best players are simply the players who practice the most.

Two of my teams have players who have attended zero practices all year, but I'd bet a large sum of money that their parents will bring them to the first game in full uniform "ready" to play.
Back in the day those kids were playing DnD or reading or whatever and not doing the necessary reps. There were always shit players that their parents expected to play, the parents will shuffle them around until they find a team bad enough that lets them play, or they finally listen to their kid and stop forcing them to do shit they don't like.
 

maurice

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Oct 21, 2015
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Two of my teams have players who have attended zero practices all year, but I'd bet a large sum of money that their parents will bring them to the first game in full uniform "ready" to play.
UPDATE: Prediction was correct. One of them actually came to practice today! Not on time, of course. He was an hour late and his dad wanted me to stop practice so he could tell me his excuses. I told him I don't care and told his kid to take 3 laps.

I was only supposed to coach that one practice today but got a strange email from a random dad saying he heard there were no coaches available for the following practice. I responded that I was already at the gym and could handle it. Then a coach responded that the dad was mistaken and that she would take care of everything.

Suspicious, I went to the practice anyway. The coach was sitting on the bench with her head in her phone while 14 kids ran wild. After about 10 minutes of this, I started working with one kid on the side. Gradually every single kid in the gym came over until I was running the entire fucking practice...just like I had offered.

The first kid over was the woman coach's 14YO son, who begged to join us. I told him to ask his mom because "she's in charge and I'm not even supposed to BE HERE TODAY!" He didn't ask her, and she didn't say one fucking word to me the entire 90 minutes.

Stories like this are both why I want to quit coaching and why I can't quit.
 

ENOCK

Underneath Denver International Airport
Jun 19, 2016
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UPDATE: Prediction was correct. One of them actually came to practice today! Not on time, of course. He was an hour late and his dad wanted me to stop practice so he could tell me his excuses. I told him I don't care and told his kid to take 3 laps.

I was only supposed to coach that one practice today but got a strange email from a random dad saying he heard there were no coaches available for the following practice. I responded that I was already at the gym and could handle it. Then a coach responded that the dad was mistaken and that she would take care of everything.

Suspicious, I went to the practice anyway. The coach was sitting on the bench with her head in her phone while 14 kids ran wild. After about 10 minutes of this, I started working with one kid on the side. Gradually every single kid in the gym came over until I was running the entire fucking practice...just like I had offered.

The first kid over was the woman coach's 14YO son, who begged to join us. I told him to ask his mom because "she's in charge and I'm not even supposed to BE HERE TODAY!" He didn't ask her, and she didn't say one fucking word to me the entire 90 minutes.

Stories like this are both why I want to quit coaching and why I can't quit.
When I hear you saying "told his kid to take 3 laps." and "Gradually every single kid in the gym came over until I was running the entire fucking practice...."

You know what that tells me maurice @maurice?

Means you're doing the right thing and you are being a great coach!

Parents are going to be foolish - many of them are still kids themselves mentally. Many of them probably just signed their kids up so they can go fuck around with their own interests. Also that Lady Coach probably doesn't give two shits about the kids or coaching ..she may be in it just to pad her resume or give off the illusion shes cares for kids on her Social Media accounts.

Bottom line - the kids are what matter! Don't worry about the dip shit parents or other Coach.

We have to remember we don't always know what's going on in these kdis personal lives but at least they are there trying to play the sport and if they are trying then as a coach its up to you to give them all your time and energy you can because as minuscule as you may think it is ...you could be changing their lives for the better with simple little doses of discipline.

You obviously have a passion for the game of Basketball and with that passion you most likely have a wealth of knowledge to go with it ...this is your chance to share all that knowledge with these young kids.

Sounds like you might be the best thing going for those kids in that Gym ....keep up the great work maurice @maurice and don't get discouraged by the Parents / Other Coach.
 

ENOCK

Underneath Denver International Airport
Jun 19, 2016
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Hell, if players tried to push their teammates to improve, they'd probably be labeled "bullies."
lol ..you may be right in todays age. I was once labeled a bully back in my day for trying to push my teammate.

Quick little story for dat ass!

Back in the day I would ball 24/7 non stop!

Trying to emulate Chris Jackson aka Mahmoud Abdul Rauf

I'd drill this move over and over again:

Between the Legs - Behind the Back - Fake Shot - Quick Release Jumper
Rauf would break that out a least a couple times each game - had defenders faked every time.



One day at the park a teammate showed up and we went one on one for hours - I was schooling his ass but at the same time pushing him - trying to make him work harder - think harder - play harder! ....apparently I went to hard on him - he went home and came back with his Uncle - big dude - known gangster around the neighborhood - uncle pulled a gun on me and said he'd kill me if I pulled that shit again on his lil nephew.

I did my best to keep them calm while inside I was terrified .....after some tense moments they both turned around and walked home ....

I waited till they were out of sight ....then started ballin again...24/7 Son!
 

maurice

Posting Machine
Oct 21, 2015
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The first kid over was the woman coach's son...
Today, her husband is shitposting all over the school FB page, virtue-signaling that everybody else should do more for the school.

Resisted urge to reply: "Maybe we should all pretend to coach basketball!"
 

MMAPlaywright

First 100
First 100
Jan 18, 2015
2,674
5,239
lol ..you may be right in todays age. I was once labeled a bully back in my day for trying to push my teammate.

Quick little story for dat ass!

Back in the day I would ball 24/7 non stop!

Trying to emulate Chris Jackson aka Mahmoud Abdul Rauf

I'd drill this move over and over again:

Between the Legs - Behind the Back - Fake Shot - Quick Release Jumper
Rauf would break that out a least a couple times each game - had defenders faked every time.



One day at the park a teammate showed up and we went one on one for hours - I was schooling his ass but at the same time pushing him - trying to make him work harder - think harder - play harder! ....apparently I went to hard on him - he went home and came back with his Uncle - big dude - known gangster around the neighborhood - uncle pulled a gun on me and said he'd kill me if I pulled that shit again on his lil nephew.

I did my best to keep them calm while inside I was terrified .....after some tense moments they both turned around and walked home ....

I waited till they were out of sight ....then started ballin again...24/7 Son!
Yeah, sure. Blame Chris Jackson. Everybody always blames their problems on Chris Jackson.
 

maurice

Posting Machine
Oct 21, 2015
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Bumping this thread because the 2019-20 basketball season is on the way, and I probably will have no shortage of dumb stories to share. Here's the first:

Basketball has become hugely popular among kids in the US, especially as the football participation rate plummets in most of the country. My kids' grammar school has about 15 teams comprised of a majority of 1st through 8th graders in the school. This creates a huge strain, because we don't have nearly that many competent coaches who are willing to work for free. See above.

Last week, a retired HS basketball coach contacted me because he wanted to volunteer to coach one of our teams. He coached a 6th grade team several years ago and didn't lose a game all season, but those kids have all graduated, so he asked me to ask around on his behalf. I got an email today saying that the school is not interested because the league has "plenty of parent coaches already."

SMH at a skilled professional volunteering to do a time-consuming job for free and getting turned down because somebody's incompetent mom wants to pretend to do it herself instead.
 

silentsinger

Momofuku
Jun 23, 2015
21,051
14,451
Bumping this thread because the 2019-20 basketball season is on the way, and I probably will have no shortage of dumb stories to share. Here's the first:

Basketball has become hugely popular among kids in the US, especially as the football participation rate plummets in most of the country. My kids' grammar school has about 15 teams comprised of a majority of 1st through 8th graders in the school. This creates a huge strain, because we don't have nearly that many competent coaches who are willing to work for free. See above.

Last week, a retired HS basketball coach contacted me because he wanted to volunteer to coach one of our teams. He coached a 6th grade team several years ago and didn't lose a game all season, but those kids have all graduated, so he asked me to ask around on his behalf. I got an email today saying that the school is not interested because the league has "plenty of parent coaches already."

SMH at a skilled professional volunteering to do a time-consuming job for free and getting turned down because somebody's incompetent mom wants to pretend to do it herself instead.
Did you see Michael Jordan tear up when he opened up the hospital in NC for people who can’t afford medical insurance? If that doesn’t tug on the heart strings I don’t know what will.

Yes, 7 million to him is probably a drop in the ocean and I don’t really follow basketball but I thought it was really nice
 

ENOCK

Underneath Denver International Airport
Jun 19, 2016
7,270
13,379
Bumping this thread because the 2019-20 basketball season is on the way, and I probably will have no shortage of dumb stories to share. Here's the first:

Basketball has become hugely popular among kids in the US, especially as the football participation rate plummets in most of the country. My kids' grammar school has about 15 teams comprised of a majority of 1st through 8th graders in the school. This creates a huge strain, because we don't have nearly that many competent coaches who are willing to work for free. See above.

Last week, a retired HS basketball coach contacted me because he wanted to volunteer to coach one of our teams. He coached a 6th grade team several years ago and didn't lose a game all season, but those kids have all graduated, so he asked me to ask around on his behalf. I got an email today saying that the school is not interested because the league has "plenty of parent coaches already."

SMH at a skilled professional volunteering to do a time-consuming job for free and getting turned down because somebody's incompetent mom wants to pretend to do it herself instead.

See if he’s interested in being your assistant coach.
 

kneeblock

Don't it always seem to go
Apr 18, 2015
10,197
18,941
Bumping this thread because the 2019-20 basketball season is on the way, and I probably will have no shortage of dumb stories to share. Here's the first:

Basketball has become hugely popular among kids in the US, especially as the football participation rate plummets in most of the country. My kids' grammar school has about 15 teams comprised of a majority of 1st through 8th graders in the school. This creates a huge strain, because we don't have nearly that many competent coaches who are willing to work for free. See above.

Last week, a retired HS basketball coach contacted me because he wanted to volunteer to coach one of our teams. He coached a 6th grade team several years ago and didn't lose a game all season, but those kids have all graduated, so he asked me to ask around on his behalf. I got an email today saying that the school is not interested because the league has "plenty of parent coaches already."

SMH at a skilled professional volunteering to do a time-consuming job for free and getting turned down because somebody's incompetent mom wants to pretend to do it herself instead.
My ex-wife is having the opposite problem. She played 4 years of HS ball and also played both Basketball and Volleyball from the time she was in middle school. Now she's got some meathead who does weekends in a rec league and plays fantasy basketball with his chums keeping her from being head coach while he has my daughter's team learning nothing useful about ball movement or handling and has them playing 1-3-1 causing a bunch of lane violations and leaving no one to rebound the dozens of missed shots. It's a disgrace.
 

maurice

Posting Machine
Oct 21, 2015
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See if he’s interested in being your assistant coach.
I'm seriously considering just handing him the keys to my team and taking the year off, but thought I'd offer him to the shitty coaches first.
 

maurice

Posting Machine
Oct 21, 2015
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My ex-wife is having the opposite problem. She played 4 years of HS ball and also played both Basketball and Volleyball from the time she was in middle school.
Couple years ago, some dude who played 4 years of HS ball offered to coach his daughter's team, and they turned him down in favor of some random douche who has been associated with the school a tad longer.
 

ENOCK

Underneath Denver International Airport
Jun 19, 2016
7,270
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Couple years ago, some dude who played 4 years of HS ball offered to coach his daughter's team, and they turned him down in favor of some random douche who has been associated with the school a tad longer.
Sounds like a lot of BS
 

maurice

Posting Machine
Oct 21, 2015
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Just like clockwork, the day after they tell me that they can't possibly use a professional coach because OMG SOOO MANY MOMS AND DADS!!!, two dads who coach one of our teams asked me if I can run their practice tonight.

I can . . . but you know who else can run this practice? And every other practice? The damn professional coach.