General Ran the Border to Take Control of My Lawn.

Discussion in 'The Off-topic Lounge' started by Sex Chicken, May 17, 2018.

  1. Sex Chicken

    Sex Chicken Speed x Mass = Power

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    Can’t buy this stuff in a civilized country.

    [​IMG]
     
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  2. KhabibsConorsDaddy

    KhabibsConorsDaddy Conor Won Round 3

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    You're welcome. I hope you didn't have to go to Detroit.
     
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  3. Sex Chicken

    Sex Chicken Speed x Mass = Power

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    Niagara Falls/Buffalo
     
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  4. KhabibsConorsDaddy

    KhabibsConorsDaddy Conor Won Round 3

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    How long does it take to get through each border?

    And how much did you contribute to our national economy?
     
  5. Sex Chicken

    Sex Chicken Speed x Mass = Power

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    No wait at the border. It takes me about 80 minutes from my house to where I’m going. I spent 50 bucks lawn care, 100 bucks groceries, tank of gas and lunch for two.
     
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  6. robzombie

    robzombie Posting Machine

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    How was Buffalo? I'll probably never get to go now I live on this coast.
     
  7. Sex Chicken

    Sex Chicken Speed x Mass = Power

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    Didn’t get to go downtown, because we have to head home.
     
  8. robzombie

    robzombie Posting Machine

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    Shame, I imagine it would be a good night out. We're supposedly the drunkest fans in the NFL.
     
  9. willthiswork

    willthiswork Posting Machine

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    You misspelled dumbest.
     
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  10. KhabibsConorsDaddy

    KhabibsConorsDaddy Conor Won Round 3

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    Apparently going to your shit stadium is hell if one is wearing Dolphins apparel.

    That's fine, though. I remember walking down one of the ramps at our stadium while leaving a Bills-Dolphins game and a Bills fan in front of us turned around offended because he thought we had directed something towards him (we hadn't).

    So then one of my friends said "shut the fuck up, you fat pussy".

    That dude did a 180 and kept walking so fast I nearly pissed myself laughing.

    tl;dr All Buffalo Bills fans are pussies
     
  11. robzombie

    robzombie Posting Machine

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    Both fit the brief of a Bills fan.
     
  12. robzombie

    robzombie Posting Machine

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    I'm only a fan because of a few friends being fans in Norfolk, there being a Bills bar there and apart from one chick with manky teeth they were all cool as fuck and really nice people. When I went to see Bills v Redskins though the Redskins fans were FAR cooler than the Bills fans and I had a real laugh with them. Maybe because they were playing at home, I don't know.

    tl;dr, Bills fans I'm friends with are cool, but not at a game.
     
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  13. Sex Chicken

    Sex Chicken Speed x Mass = Power

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    I made it back across the border. Without an incident. All this stuff is illegal. Border patrol asked me flat out “Did you only buy groceries”. I told him “Yes”. I’m not a good liar and I think he knew I was lying but he knew they didn’t have enough strong men on duty to keep me from crossing that bridge if I wanted to. For a second I thought I was going to have to roundhouse my way to freedom.
     
    #13 Sex Chicken, May 17, 2018
    Last edited: May 17, 2018
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  14. Priziesthorse

    Priziesthorse Moderator
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    It's good to see you taking out your frustration from your Monster's Pick 'Em performance on your weeds instead of your wife.
     
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  15. Sex Chicken

    Sex Chicken Speed x Mass = Power

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    She’s done nothing wrong. She’s a good woman.

    In fact during my darkest hours when I don’t know where I’ll get the strength to pick another card, she’ll open up the template, and as I lay in bed with a cold washcloth on my forehead, I dictate my picks to her.
     
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  16. Jesus X

    Jesus X send me location

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    [​IMG]
     
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  17. Sex Chicken

    Sex Chicken Speed x Mass = Power

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    @conor mcgregor nut hugger@conor mcgregor nut hugger and his buddies tailgating in MiamI.

    [​IMG]
     
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  18. Jehannum

    Jehannum The Notorious Two

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  19. KhabibsConorsDaddy

    KhabibsConorsDaddy Conor Won Round 3

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    Eat a dick, Bills fan

    FINS UP!
     
  20. Jesus X

    Jesus X send me location

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    lol the little one looks like he has all the leukemias and aids available,possibly some undiscovered. maybe even lupus.
     
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  21. robzombie

    robzombie Posting Machine

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    Reported for suggested felatio.

    You eat a dick. Bills Mafia will do better than your bunch of prats again next season. Your ass is mine with a username bet first game of the season.
     
  22. Sex Chicken

    Sex Chicken Speed x Mass = Power

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    Another important part of today is that I bought my wife a can of beer at a gas station for the ride home, and the young woman at the counter asked me for ID. I am 22 years older than the legal drinking age. It was nice.
     
  23. Gegard "VON" Mousasi

    Gegard "VON" Mousasi 9/11 WAS A INSIDE JOB

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    This never happened
     
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  24. Sex Chicken

    Sex Chicken Speed x Mass = Power

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    Her name was "Bree".
     
  25. KhabibsConorsDaddy

    KhabibsConorsDaddy Conor Won Round 3

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    Remember when you guys lost four straight Super Bowls?

    Lulz
     
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