General Ran the Border to Take Control of My Lawn.

Discussion in 'The Off-topic Lounge' started by True Belieber, May 17, 2018.

  1. True Belieber

    True Belieber Is it Too Late Now to Say Sorry?

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    Can’t buy this stuff in a civilized country.

    [​IMG]
     
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  2. conor mcgregor nut hugger

    conor mcgregor nut hugger Mighty Mouse won 48-47

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    You're welcome. I hope you didn't have to go to Detroit.
     
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  3. True Belieber

    True Belieber Is it Too Late Now to Say Sorry?

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    Niagara Falls/Buffalo
     
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  4. conor mcgregor nut hugger

    conor mcgregor nut hugger Mighty Mouse won 48-47

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    How long does it take to get through each border?

    And how much did you contribute to our national economy?
     
  5. True Belieber

    True Belieber Is it Too Late Now to Say Sorry?

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    No wait at the border. It takes me about 80 minutes from my house to where I’m going. I spent 50 bucks lawn care, 100 bucks groceries, tank of gas and lunch for two.
     
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  6. silentsinger

    silentsinger We didn't burn him.

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    How was Buffalo? I'll probably never get to go now I live on this coast.
     
  7. True Belieber

    True Belieber Is it Too Late Now to Say Sorry?

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    Didn’t get to go downtown, because we have to head home.
     
  8. silentsinger

    silentsinger We didn't burn him.

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    Shame, I imagine it would be a good night out. We're supposedly the drunkest fans in the NFL.
     
  9. willthiswork

    willthiswork Posting Machine

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    You misspelled dumbest.
     
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  10. conor mcgregor nut hugger

    conor mcgregor nut hugger Mighty Mouse won 48-47

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    Apparently going to your shit stadium is hell if one is wearing Dolphins apparel.

    That's fine, though. I remember walking down one of the ramps at our stadium while leaving a Bills-Dolphins game and a Bills fan in front of us turned around offended because he thought we had directed something towards him (we hadn't).

    So then one of my friends said "shut the fuck up, you fat pussy".

    That dude did a 180 and kept walking so fast I nearly pissed myself laughing.

    tl;dr All Buffalo Bills fans are pussies
     
  11. silentsinger

    silentsinger We didn't burn him.

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    Both fit the brief of a Bills fan.
     
  12. silentsinger

    silentsinger We didn't burn him.

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    I'm only a fan because of a few friends being fans in Norfolk, there being a Bills bar there and apart from one chick with manky teeth they were all cool as fuck and really nice people. When I went to see Bills v Redskins though the Redskins fans were FAR cooler than the Bills fans and I had a real laugh with them. Maybe because they were playing at home, I don't know.

    tl;dr, Bills fans I'm friends with are cool, but not at a game.
     
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  13. True Belieber

    True Belieber Is it Too Late Now to Say Sorry?

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    I made it back across the border. Without an incident. All this stuff is illegal. Border patrol asked me flat out “Did you only buy groceries”. I told him “Yes”. I’m not a good liar and I think he knew I was lying but he knew they didn’t have enough strong men on duty to keep me from crossing that bridge if I wanted to. For a second I thought I was going to have to roundhouse my way to freedom.
     
    #13 True Belieber, May 17, 2018
    Last edited: May 17, 2018
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  14. Priziesthorse

    Priziesthorse Moderator
    Moderator First 100

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    It's good to see you taking out your frustration from your Monster's Pick 'Em performance on your weeds instead of your wife.
     
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  15. True Belieber

    True Belieber Is it Too Late Now to Say Sorry?

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    She’s done nothing wrong. She’s a good woman.

    In fact during my darkest hours when I don’t know where I’ll get the strength to pick another card, she’ll open up the template, and as I lay in bed with a cold washcloth on my forehead, I dictate my picks to her.
     
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  16. Jesus X

    Jesus X Methuselah Rookie card

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    [​IMG]
     
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  17. True Belieber

    True Belieber Is it Too Late Now to Say Sorry?

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    @conor mcgregor nut hugger@conor mcgregor nut hugger and his buddies tailgating in MiamI.

    [​IMG]
     
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  18. Jehannum

    Jehannum The Notorious Two

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  19. conor mcgregor nut hugger

    conor mcgregor nut hugger Mighty Mouse won 48-47

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    Eat a dick, Bills fan

    FINS UP!
     
  20. Jesus X

    Jesus X Methuselah Rookie card

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    lol the little one looks like he has all the leukemias and aids available,possibly some undiscovered. maybe even lupus.
     
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  21. silentsinger

    silentsinger We didn't burn him.

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    Reported for suggested felatio.

    You eat a dick. Bills Mafia will do better than your bunch of prats again next season. Your ass is mine with a username bet first game of the season.
     
  22. True Belieber

    True Belieber Is it Too Late Now to Say Sorry?

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    Another important part of today is that I bought my wife a can of beer at a gas station for the ride home, and the young woman at the counter asked me for ID. I am 22 years older than the legal drinking age. It was nice.
     
  23. HEATH VON DOOM

    HEATH VON DOOM ENOCH = TROOF

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    This never happened
     
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  24. True Belieber

    True Belieber Is it Too Late Now to Say Sorry?

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    Her name was "Bree".
     
  25. conor mcgregor nut hugger

    conor mcgregor nut hugger Mighty Mouse won 48-47

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    Remember when you guys lost four straight Super Bowls?

    Lulz
     
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