Raw is something, something....
- Thread starter BeardOfKnowledge
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- raw
Good bender, eh?
I havent worked for a few weeks so everyday is saturday to me. My yard looks pretty nice though.
Voluntary, or imposed time off?
What are you putting the most rounds through?
My wrestling crisis of a week, lads. Well how about I share it with y’all?
Sunday watched Backlash, and have to say, I was getting 2008-2010 vibes. Must say, was rather depressing. Watching two great talents just kick each other below the belt, ending in a non finish finish, casted metaphorical “heat” waves into my fandom. Not good heat, like Elias Samson saying “Yeah I like the New Jersey Devils, they told me they wished they could change their home state to mine.” Heat, noooo. I mean X Pac “MAKE SOME NOIIIIISE!!!” heat. Except much more depressing.
I opted out of watching the co main and main. Yes, I willingly missed Braun doing Braun stuff. Don’t worry, this might have a happy ending.
Raw rolls around, and taking a page out of Mr.Beard’s playbook, the girlfriend and I decided “Maybe miss the first hour, Hell’s Kitchen might be nice, yeah, Gordan yelling at some jobbers, good stuff.” 4 episodes in, and I forgot about Raw. Upon realization, the next night before Smackdown, I asked myself. “Is this 2009 over again? Looking at, ew, Bleach Report for results?” I decided then and there to make spicy noodles.
Not having spicy noodles, but Ramen, saracha sauce and RedHot, we will make due. Long story in a longer story short, I put too much saracha in the broth, didn’t absorb to the noodles, I thought I failed, drank the broth, and well, all the wonder in the world was gone at that point, gents. Luckily through a lifetime of never letting anything go, my grip skills were up to par. Yet, the slightest gusto of hot broth hit my lap. Slapping a non existent fire, in turn just slapping my crotch in panic, hurt more.
Hurt enough to have the delusion that this was Roman’s fault. If he had been second match, maybe third match, most likely would be having salmon at that moment. Nope, he depressed me to make spicy noodles at that very moment. On my lap, was the heat that son of a samoan had. Those heatwaves the night before? Not X Pac, but the Big Dog’s! Aha! (I would like you all to read the last 3 lines as if I were Jim Jefferies, it helps to understand.)
As the low blow is what made me angry, I decided not to watch Smackdown. Even wondered if I liked having the Network. Oh the chuckle I had at thinking “Maybe Fightpass?”
Next day at work, happened to fall into a rather odd lengthy conversation with a co worker about whether or not Savage could have gotten as big as Hogan if Andre had ripped Miss Elizabeth’s cross off. Almost like a PSA from the 90’s, new guy pipes up from his area. “You guy’s like wrestling?” We concur. “Nice, nice, you guys excited for All In?”
Now its important to know, I have been almost a WWF/E purist since, eh, wanna say around the time Vampiro lit Sting on fire and threw him off the Titantron. Occassional TNA, even watched some clips of Omega, Shinsuke and little ROH stuff on the ol’ Youtubes. Now this “All In” sounded odd. I inquire. Why, its the card with only half a match announced, sold out in under 30 minutes. Cody Rhodes facing off for the NWA Championship. Whatta thinker that was.
Telling him I was not much of a Japanese Wrassling man myself, he told me, and I quote to further the connection to a PSA, “Nah man, New Japan and Ring of Honor are the good shit, WWE, yeah has some Styles and Shinsuke, NXT good, but those are the tips of the iceberg when it comes to modern wrestling.” Right?! He was selling that shit like it was Rollins’ knee.
After then catching me up on almost all the history of Bullet Club, Okada, and a select other few that, frankly, not gonna remember unless I watch it. He was so into the Indy stuff, I muttered “Super Dave?” just to check. That part isn’t true, but I wish I had done that for authenticity purposes.
Went home, having nothing better to do, began questioning if I really wanted to become the smark I never wanted to be. Was I already a smark? I am most certainly a mark, but smark? Girlfriend was over. I looked her dead in the eye and said I had something important to ask her. Verbatim, “Should I begin watching more than just WWE? Ya know, Japanese stuff.” By her look of annoyance, hindsight makes me ponder if I was supposed to propose there, but thats not the point. She said, verbatim. “If you want to, yeah. Not that big of a deal.” Now, she’s wrong, it is, but she already looked annoyed and the microwave was beeping.
After drinking some DP the next morning, as Dr Pepper does indeed make my day better, I was youtube hopping. Going to recommended to recommended. What pops up? Braun flips an ambulance. I clicked it. And ya know? It was that moment my fandom grew three times again. I looked passed all the nice things. Braun, Elias, Rusev Day (this happened on Rusev Day, in case y’all were wondering), Becky, Asuka, McIntyre and his lacky, Woken Wyatts, Blundgeon Brothers, hey D Bry is back! Blis, Money in the Bank is around the corner!
I was becoming a smark, but it wasn’t too late. I was choosing to overlook all those good things, and focus on big dogs, bosses and those stupid fucking can can kicks Naomi does. So what if Styles and Nakkers hit each other in the balls?! Match was awesome beforehand! Rusev Day miracle, it was. I had not yet cross to the darkside where I wear a Bullet Club shirt to an NXT show, despite there just being a ROH event that day, or give out about Cena having 5 Moves of Doom, but cheer when every other wrestler does their five moves of doom. I am still a mark. I survived.
Needless say, I want to say thank you, I love y’all, and I’m never leaving again. Just kidding, fuck Dwayne.
Good week though.
Sunday watched Backlash, and have to say, I was getting 2008-2010 vibes. Must say, was rather depressing. Watching two great talents just kick each other below the belt, ending in a non finish finish, casted metaphorical “heat” waves into my fandom. Not good heat, like Elias Samson saying “Yeah I like the New Jersey Devils, they told me they wished they could change their home state to mine.” Heat, noooo. I mean X Pac “MAKE SOME NOIIIIISE!!!” heat. Except much more depressing.
I opted out of watching the co main and main. Yes, I willingly missed Braun doing Braun stuff. Don’t worry, this might have a happy ending.
Raw rolls around, and taking a page out of Mr.Beard’s playbook, the girlfriend and I decided “Maybe miss the first hour, Hell’s Kitchen might be nice, yeah, Gordan yelling at some jobbers, good stuff.” 4 episodes in, and I forgot about Raw. Upon realization, the next night before Smackdown, I asked myself. “Is this 2009 over again? Looking at, ew, Bleach Report for results?” I decided then and there to make spicy noodles.
Not having spicy noodles, but Ramen, saracha sauce and RedHot, we will make due. Long story in a longer story short, I put too much saracha in the broth, didn’t absorb to the noodles, I thought I failed, drank the broth, and well, all the wonder in the world was gone at that point, gents. Luckily through a lifetime of never letting anything go, my grip skills were up to par. Yet, the slightest gusto of hot broth hit my lap. Slapping a non existent fire, in turn just slapping my crotch in panic, hurt more.
Hurt enough to have the delusion that this was Roman’s fault. If he had been second match, maybe third match, most likely would be having salmon at that moment. Nope, he depressed me to make spicy noodles at that very moment. On my lap, was the heat that son of a samoan had. Those heatwaves the night before? Not X Pac, but the Big Dog’s! Aha! (I would like you all to read the last 3 lines as if I were Jim Jefferies, it helps to understand.)
As the low blow is what made me angry, I decided not to watch Smackdown. Even wondered if I liked having the Network. Oh the chuckle I had at thinking “Maybe Fightpass?”
Next day at work, happened to fall into a rather odd lengthy conversation with a co worker about whether or not Savage could have gotten as big as Hogan if Andre had ripped Miss Elizabeth’s cross off. Almost like a PSA from the 90’s, new guy pipes up from his area. “You guy’s like wrestling?” We concur. “Nice, nice, you guys excited for All In?”
Now its important to know, I have been almost a WWF/E purist since, eh, wanna say around the time Vampiro lit Sting on fire and threw him off the Titantron. Occassional TNA, even watched some clips of Omega, Shinsuke and little ROH stuff on the ol’ Youtubes. Now this “All In” sounded odd. I inquire. Why, its the card with only half a match announced, sold out in under 30 minutes. Cody Rhodes facing off for the NWA Championship. Whatta thinker that was.
Telling him I was not much of a Japanese Wrassling man myself, he told me, and I quote to further the connection to a PSA, “Nah man, New Japan and Ring of Honor are the good shit, WWE, yeah has some Styles and Shinsuke, NXT good, but those are the tips of the iceberg when it comes to modern wrestling.” Right?! He was selling that shit like it was Rollins’ knee.
After then catching me up on almost all the history of Bullet Club, Okada, and a select other few that, frankly, not gonna remember unless I watch it. He was so into the Indy stuff, I muttered “Super Dave?” just to check. That part isn’t true, but I wish I had done that for authenticity purposes.
Went home, having nothing better to do, began questioning if I really wanted to become the smark I never wanted to be. Was I already a smark? I am most certainly a mark, but smark? Girlfriend was over. I looked her dead in the eye and said I had something important to ask her. Verbatim, “Should I begin watching more than just WWE? Ya know, Japanese stuff.” By her look of annoyance, hindsight makes me ponder if I was supposed to propose there, but thats not the point. She said, verbatim. “If you want to, yeah. Not that big of a deal.” Now, she’s wrong, it is, but she already looked annoyed and the microwave was beeping.
After drinking some DP the next morning, as Dr Pepper does indeed make my day better, I was youtube hopping. Going to recommended to recommended. What pops up? Braun flips an ambulance. I clicked it. And ya know? It was that moment my fandom grew three times again. I looked passed all the nice things. Braun, Elias, Rusev Day (this happened on Rusev Day, in case y’all were wondering), Becky, Asuka, McIntyre and his lacky, Woken Wyatts, Blundgeon Brothers, hey D Bry is back! Blis, Money in the Bank is around the corner!
I was becoming a smark, but it wasn’t too late. I was choosing to overlook all those good things, and focus on big dogs, bosses and those stupid fucking can can kicks Naomi does. So what if Styles and Nakkers hit each other in the balls?! Match was awesome beforehand! Rusev Day miracle, it was. I had not yet cross to the darkside where I wear a Bullet Club shirt to an NXT show, despite there just being a ROH event that day, or give out about Cena having 5 Moves of Doom, but cheer when every other wrestler does their five moves of doom. I am still a mark. I survived.
Needless say, I want to say thank you, I love y’all, and I’m never leaving again. Just kidding, fuck Dwayne.
Good week though.
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Amazing