General Stupidest thing you ever heard a coworker say

[kvr28]

When I was delivering pizzas when I was 19 we had this old guy that was supplementing his retirement income with delivering. He got in a crash driving to work and was arguing with the manager that it should be covered under workman's comp since he was driving to work. He was serious.

 

[Koma]

I’m just waiting for my co-workers to start talking shit on here.

I will find you because I know every stupid thing I have said and who was present.

 

[MountainMedic]

Had a real dipshit for a boss for a while, he said dumb shit everyday and I'm pretty sure he could barely read.

One time he hired his buddy and made me his training officer. After a couple weeks I told the boss "we can keep going if you want but he's not going to make it. He's the weakest medic I've ever scene"
He replied with "what? He can't lift the cot?".
He was dead serious.

 

[MountainMedic]

I’m just waiting

That you Dan?

 

[Chrit]

As a kid I did some IT Helpdesk work... so technically the people calling in were co-workers.

So... one called that their desktop wasn't working. They would press the power button and nothing. The power supply on the back didn't do anything when flipped on and off. So I asked them to check under the desk to see if it may have inadvertently become unplugged.

That is when the 'co-worker' said... in all of their intelligent glory... 'I cant really tell... the power is out here.'

Obviously this was back before everything was VOIP.

 

[NiteProwleR]

I wish we could see in HD.

 

[kvr28]

Lol, just remembered another one from pizza driving days, had an Australian working for us. We had a rainstorm pass through and he got into a crash. He said that he wasn't driving fast but due to the wet roads when he was going down the slight hill his vehicle sped up as he was slamming on the brakes because of the road conditions.

I looked at him and said yep, you are Australian, you are so far down under your head is up your ass.

 

[kvr28]

Had a real dipshit for a boss for a while, he said dumb shit everyday and I'm pretty sure he could barely read.

One time he hired his buddy and made me his training officer. After a couple weeks I told the boss "we can keep going if you want but he's not going to make it. He's the weakest medic I've ever scene"
He replied with "what? He can't lift the cot?".
He was dead serious.

Thats a boss that doesn't want to hear problems just solutions.

 

[kvr28]

As a kid I did some IT Helpdesk work... so technically the people calling in were co-workers.

So... one called that their desktop wasn't working. They would press the power button and nothing. The power supply on the back didn't do anything when flipped on and off. So I asked them to check under the desk to see if it may have inadvertently become unplugged.

That is when the 'co-worker' said... in all of their intelligent glory... 'I cant really tell... the power is out here.'

Obviously this was back before everything was VOIP.

Winner winner, chicken dinner

 

[segfault]

"AOC is really smart!"

Yeah, it wasn't sarcasm. I just got up and went for a walk.

 

[kvr28]

As a kid I did some IT Helpdesk work... so technically the people calling in were co-workers.

So... one called that their desktop wasn't working. They would press the power button and nothing. The power supply on the back didn't do anything when flipped on and off. So I asked them to check under the desk to see if it may have inadvertently become unplugged.

That is when the 'co-worker' said... in all of their intelligent glory... 'I cant really tell... the power is out here.'

Obviously this was back before everything was VOIP.

I swear there was an audio recording from like 15 years ago that was the same scenario, the help desk basically told her to pack up the computer and return it because she was too fucking stupid to own a computer

 

[CuddleBug]

I think the smartest thing ever said was:

A lady was changing desks and she wanted to take her phone with her. She crawled under both desks to get to the plug on the wall and snaked the cord out from between the desk legs for both phones, then got down there again and snaked the cable through again and plugged them in.

I asked her, why didn't you just unplug each phone at the bottom and leave each cord where it was? She looked at me and without even missing a beat said, "I don't know, I'm just a girl." I told her that was the best answer I'd ever heard and walked away.

 

[kvr28]

I think the smartest thing ever said was:

A lady was changing desks and she wanted to take her phone with her. She crawled under both desks to get to the plug on the wall and snaked the cord out from between the desk legs for both phones, then got down there again and snaked the cable through again and plugged them in.

I asked her, why didn't you just unplug each phone at the bottom and leave each cord where it was? She looked at me and without even missing a beat said, "I don't know, I'm just a girl." I told her that was the best answer I'd ever heard and walked away.

lol, jesus

 

[kvr28]

"AOC is really smart!"

Yeah, it wasn't sarcasm. I just got up and went for a walk.

Did you smack them at least?

 

[segfault]

Did you smack them at least?

I don't think you can beat that kind of stupid out of someone.

 

[MountainMedic]

I don't think you can beat that kind of stupid out of someone.

Not with that attitude

 

[kvr28]

Not with that attitude

You are headed places son, management someday, solutions, not problems

 

[2oldguy]

I had to sit through a meeting with my boss to discuss what kind of white paper we were going to use in the office - I thought that was a special kind of stupid- I quit soon after

 

[Fan_of_Fanboys]

When the Black Panther movie came out a coworker was talking about it and said it was great to see an African-American society on tv.

Ignoring that it's complete fiction it's not an African American society. It's just African

 

[Uncle Tom Doug]

I'm sure if it's stupid or insane, but a few years ago a female coworker was putting little post-it notes on the counter and in the cabinets around the office and in the break room one day. When asked what she was doing, she said she was leaving warnings for the ants to let them know they needed to get out of the building because the exterminators were scheduled to come spray and put down traps.

 

[Meohfumado]

Had a manager who was livid the test team didn't catch a particular server set-up combination that caused a 100% reproducible crash, and was insistent that we test every combination every build from then on out, and wouldn't listen to reason about how impossible that was due to there being sixteen server options, some with as many as 8 choices.

So I went through the trouble of scheduling all 55k+ test cases, and put in a budgetary change request for an additional $1.5 million we'd need to accomplish that every build.

That got them off my back real quick.

 

[kvr28]

I'm sure if it's stupid or insane, but a few years ago a female coworker was putting little post-it notes on the counter and in the cabinets around the office and in the break room one day. When asked what she was doing, she said she was leaving warnings for the ants to let them know they needed to get out of the building because the exterminators were scheduled to come spray and put down traps.

Okay, now that is stupid or maybe schizo

 

[Tom_Cody]

Years ago a new guy was hired with a higher title & salary than I, combined with allegedly more time in the job field than I'd had on earth, yet always managed to fuck up anything he touched.

Gave him a router to configure for a remote site, along with all pertinent information needed to complete the task. It should have taken no more than 30 minutes to complete, including the unboxing and repackaging of the gear to ship out once finished.

6 hours later he comes to tell me that there is something wrong with hardware because he only made it as far as configuring the WAN interface but when he patched into the test circuit (same carrier as remote site) it wouldn't come up.

No bud, there's nothing wrong with the hardware. Just because the test net and remote site (located on the opposite coast) happen to share the same carrier, it does not mean that you can expect the interface to come up when you're using entirely different IP addressing.