Lifestyle The Official TMMAC Thanksgiving Turkey Thread

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ThatOneDude

Commander in @Chief, Dick Army
First 100
Jan 14, 2015
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How do you plan to prepare you turkey? How big is your piece of sweet sweet meat?

I'll be doing a 19ish pound turkey on the smoker, wrapped in bacon so it's self basting. I'll probably add some fresh rosemary and thyme to the rub. Planning to run the smoker at 350ish, burning hickory splits.
 

ShatsBassoon

Throwing bombs & banging moms
First 100
Jan 14, 2015
18,555
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Your fake Thanksgiving doesn't count. No one massacres indigenous people like us. Nor do you people cook meat as good as us.
Fake news. We created Thanksgiving and if I ever went somewhere where they smoked a turkey instead of roasting it, I'd shit in their linen closet.
 

ThatOneDude

Commander in @Chief, Dick Army
First 100
Jan 14, 2015
35,390
34,272
Fake news. We created Thanksgiving and if I ever went somewhere where they smoked a turkey instead of roasting it, I'd shit in their linen closet.
You hate freedom. Running the smoker at 350 is roasting it, using a wood fire.... Some people's kids.
 

Papi Chingon

Domesticated Hombre
Oct 19, 2015
25,475
32,243
How do you plan to prepare you turkey? How big is your piece of sweet sweet meat?

I'll be doing a 19ish pound turkey on the smoker, wrapped in bacon so it's self basting. I'll probably add some fresh rosemary and thyme to the rub. Planning to run the smoker at 350ish, burning hickory splits.
I'm thinking something similar to this. I watched this video a few days ago, and even though this guy is french and sticks his tongue out like a retard while he concentrates, it looks pretty sweet. I'd avoid the fruit since only a bender would put fruit inside a turkey, but other than that, this looks fairly straight forward. Hook up some turkey neck gravy, mashed potatoes, salad, and boom.

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_mS3Ox4b9I
 

ThatOneDude

Commander in @Chief, Dick Army
First 100
Jan 14, 2015
35,390
34,272
I'm thinking something similar to this. I watched this video a few days ago, and even though this guy is french and sticks his tongue out like a retard while he concentrates, it looks pretty sweet. I'd avoid the fruit since only a bender would put fruit inside a turkey, but other than that, this looks fairly straight forward. Hook up some turkey neck gravy, mashed potatoes, salad, and boom.

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_mS3Ox4b9I
Salad? On Thanksgiving? You some kind of commie?
 

Papi Chingon

Domesticated Hombre
Oct 19, 2015
25,475
32,243
Salad? On Thanksgiving? You some kind of commie?
I eat salad with almost all meals. I just keep it simple with romaine, maybe some chopped olives, mushrooms, celery, might sprinkle some parmesan cheese over the top, TONS of black pepper, and my over-the-top vinaigrette that would end all wars if I released the recipe to the world. That's how this commie rolls.
 
M

member 3289

Guest
I like russets. If you disagree I'll send ShatsBassoon @ShatsBassoon over to your house and let him run around trying to find a linen closet to shit in. He'll probably end up shitting in your sink though since linen closets don't exist in free society.
Russets for mashed potatoes, white or gold for hash browns
 
M

member 3289

Guest
Do you soak your potatoes for hash browns? I have yet to figure out the method for getting a nice crust.
Yes. You have to in order to remove the starch. You can try boiling the potatoes before grating them instead of the soaking method, but you still have to squeeze as much water out of them as possible before frying.

It'll depend on your stove, but medium high heat works best for me. The crust comes down to how much vegetable oil you're willing to use lol.
 

Papi Chingon

Domesticated Hombre
Oct 19, 2015
25,475
32,243
Yes. You have to in order to remove the starch. You can try boiling the potatoes before grating them instead of the soaking method, but you still have to squeeze as much water out of them as possible before frying.

It'll depend on your stove, but medium high heat works best for me. The crust comes down to how much vegetable oil you're willing to use lol.
I don't eat breakfast, so my experiments with hash browns are few and far between. The best success I've had is shredding them and then using paper towels and pressing the liquid out as much as possible. Very pathetic end product.
 
M

member 3289

Guest
I don't eat breakfast, so my experiments with hash browns are few and far between. The best success I've had is shredding them and then using paper towels and pressing the liquid out as much as possible. Very pathetic end product.
If you're cooking a raw potato you've merely shredded, without boiling it or soaking it twice (emptying the water in between), you will get shitty hash browns every time.

Your drying method is a good one and it's also what I use but as the last step.

Boil for 10 mins (or double soak after shredding).

Shred.

Squeeze the fuck out of them in a strainer.

Paper towels.

5 min air dry.

Shit ton of vegetable oil and butter.

Medium high heat for 5-8 mins depending on stove. Make sure you cover the frying pan so they cook all the way through.
 

Papi Chingon

Domesticated Hombre
Oct 19, 2015
25,475
32,243
If you're cooking a raw potato you've merely shredded, without boiling it or soaking it twice (emptying the water in between), you will get shitty hash browns every time.

Your drying method is a good one and it's also what I use but as the last step.

Boil for 10 mins (or double soak after shredding).

Shred.

Squeeze the fuck out of them in a strainer.

Paper towels.

5 min air dry.

Shit ton of vegetable oil and butter.

Medium high heat for 5-8 mins depending on stove. Make sure you cover the frying pan so they cook all the way through.
Who the fuck does this in the morning when you're running out the door? That is craziness. McDonald's heavy greasy hashbrowns for the win!