I posted this in off topic, but since it has been suggested by many to post it here, here it is.
I wrote this up the day The Force Awakens was released. Watching ROTJ right now, and figured it was worth sharing.
What really happened on Endor?
With all the Star Wars talk today, I was thinking about the original trilogy, but mostly Return of the Jedi. It's always been my favorite. The whole beginning sequence in the dunes in the outer rim of tattooine, the heart wrenching death of everybody's favorite bounty hunter at the hands, well, jaws, well actually stomach of a sarlacc, the final battle between Luke and Vader, the hilarity of the Ewok stealing the hover bike...
But that leads me to what really happened on Endor. And it's no tale of hilarity, but one of bravery, honor, and selfless sacrifice.
In the documentary Return of the Jedi, all that is shown is the skirmish surrounding the shield generator for the Death Star, not the down and dirty war that it truly was. All we were ever shown was a highly sanitized and whitewashed version of what really happened in the forests of Endor. Do you think the Galactic Empire is going to go out of their way to install a shield generator for a star base larger than some moons while planning a weekend stay? Of course not. Surely the Empire was there to plunder a planet that was full of natural resources. Who knows what it could have been? It could have been a fuel source. It could have been the Endorian Opium that they cheefed out on in the Ewok Village. Ever notice how no one ever talks about Luke and Leia going through sever withdrawl upon leaving Endor? That's because it's not a pretty tale to tell. Perhaps the Empire was even trying to enslave the hard working Ewoks as farm animals for a distant land.
That brings me to the Ewoks themselves. First where do they live in RotJ? The Ewok 'village'. Not a city. Not a capital. A village. Worth is a village. Surely spread throughout the vast wilderness of Endor, there were Ewok cities where the trees were taller and the leaves greener. Surely, like any territorial species of rodent like a honey badger or a wolverine, Ewoks straight up DGAF about how big and bad you think you are. They would fight like any cornered animal - to the death. As the Empire sent more and more landing craft full of stormtroopers, engineers, construction crews, miners, lumberjacks and their imperial killing machines, the Ewoks would fight bravely to defend their homeworld. Imagine what the Endorian verison of New York would look like. Can you imagine how many Ewoks there would have been? Now consider they are a race of rodents, so its safe to assume they bred like rodents too. Their sheer numbers alone would be a cause for concern for the Empire who would likely have plans to cull the herd before the first boots hit the forest floor. The stormtroopers would fire upon them until their blasters were glowing red and the pile of Ewok bodies would be piled higher than the earthen barriers that once had protected their cities. As the smoke cleared, the stench that would hang in the air and be smelled for miles and weeks to come would be the cross between barbeque'd squirrel and burning dog hair. But the brave little Ewoks would not be denied and continue to fight despite losing 100 'woks for every trooper they had slain!
Then, from the stars, a sign on a turning of the tide. A Jedi knight appears, but it's not the Jedi that provides a source of inspiration - but their Golden God has fulfilled the ancient prophecy and returned during a time of great tribulation! Word would quickly spread that the savior has arrived. The inspiration and zeal with which the survivors who persevered would be unimaginable. They would regroup. Hide in their secret tunnels and resort to even more vicious forms of guerilla warfare. The ones that weren't willing to die before would now be moreso willing to do so for the lives of their fellow Ewoks. And even if they didn't, whose to say that Luke was above mind controlling them into wearing loin wraps and leather belts strapped full of thermal detonators turning them into Empire seeking suicide rats? It turned into an Ewokian jihad on the a scale never seen before nor since.
In the end, a group of well equipped rebels would help the civilization survive. The Ewoks would hold massive feasts where they would dine on the flesh of their fallen victims, 'to steal some of the powers of their souls' according to one Ewok shaman who would rather not be named. But without the tenacity of a planet that was severely outgunned that would make staggering sacrifice to help fend off the Empire from raping their homeworld, the story may have been very, very different. In short, the freedom of the galaxy was paid for in the blood of the Ewoks.
Never forget, and May The Force be with you.
I wrote this up the day The Force Awakens was released. Watching ROTJ right now, and figured it was worth sharing.
What really happened on Endor?
With all the Star Wars talk today, I was thinking about the original trilogy, but mostly Return of the Jedi. It's always been my favorite. The whole beginning sequence in the dunes in the outer rim of tattooine, the heart wrenching death of everybody's favorite bounty hunter at the hands, well, jaws, well actually stomach of a sarlacc, the final battle between Luke and Vader, the hilarity of the Ewok stealing the hover bike...
But that leads me to what really happened on Endor. And it's no tale of hilarity, but one of bravery, honor, and selfless sacrifice.
In the documentary Return of the Jedi, all that is shown is the skirmish surrounding the shield generator for the Death Star, not the down and dirty war that it truly was. All we were ever shown was a highly sanitized and whitewashed version of what really happened in the forests of Endor. Do you think the Galactic Empire is going to go out of their way to install a shield generator for a star base larger than some moons while planning a weekend stay? Of course not. Surely the Empire was there to plunder a planet that was full of natural resources. Who knows what it could have been? It could have been a fuel source. It could have been the Endorian Opium that they cheefed out on in the Ewok Village. Ever notice how no one ever talks about Luke and Leia going through sever withdrawl upon leaving Endor? That's because it's not a pretty tale to tell. Perhaps the Empire was even trying to enslave the hard working Ewoks as farm animals for a distant land.
That brings me to the Ewoks themselves. First where do they live in RotJ? The Ewok 'village'. Not a city. Not a capital. A village. Worth is a village. Surely spread throughout the vast wilderness of Endor, there were Ewok cities where the trees were taller and the leaves greener. Surely, like any territorial species of rodent like a honey badger or a wolverine, Ewoks straight up DGAF about how big and bad you think you are. They would fight like any cornered animal - to the death. As the Empire sent more and more landing craft full of stormtroopers, engineers, construction crews, miners, lumberjacks and their imperial killing machines, the Ewoks would fight bravely to defend their homeworld. Imagine what the Endorian verison of New York would look like. Can you imagine how many Ewoks there would have been? Now consider they are a race of rodents, so its safe to assume they bred like rodents too. Their sheer numbers alone would be a cause for concern for the Empire who would likely have plans to cull the herd before the first boots hit the forest floor. The stormtroopers would fire upon them until their blasters were glowing red and the pile of Ewok bodies would be piled higher than the earthen barriers that once had protected their cities. As the smoke cleared, the stench that would hang in the air and be smelled for miles and weeks to come would be the cross between barbeque'd squirrel and burning dog hair. But the brave little Ewoks would not be denied and continue to fight despite losing 100 'woks for every trooper they had slain!
Then, from the stars, a sign on a turning of the tide. A Jedi knight appears, but it's not the Jedi that provides a source of inspiration - but their Golden God has fulfilled the ancient prophecy and returned during a time of great tribulation! Word would quickly spread that the savior has arrived. The inspiration and zeal with which the survivors who persevered would be unimaginable. They would regroup. Hide in their secret tunnels and resort to even more vicious forms of guerilla warfare. The ones that weren't willing to die before would now be moreso willing to do so for the lives of their fellow Ewoks. And even if they didn't, whose to say that Luke was above mind controlling them into wearing loin wraps and leather belts strapped full of thermal detonators turning them into Empire seeking suicide rats? It turned into an Ewokian jihad on the a scale never seen before nor since.
In the end, a group of well equipped rebels would help the civilization survive. The Ewoks would hold massive feasts where they would dine on the flesh of their fallen victims, 'to steal some of the powers of their souls' according to one Ewok shaman who would rather not be named. But without the tenacity of a planet that was severely outgunned that would make staggering sacrifice to help fend off the Empire from raping their homeworld, the story may have been very, very different. In short, the freedom of the galaxy was paid for in the blood of the Ewoks.
Never forget, and May The Force be with you.
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