General What's some stuff I can do to fuck with the apprentice?

[SongExotic2]

Nice kid. Mclovin his name is. Because he looks like the kid from superbad called mclovin.

But his hair is longer like this chick from bargain hunt.




That's what it looks like when he takes his bump cap off. We already do a trick where everytime he phones one of us we say


hello, who's that?

.....mclovin...

Who??

Mclovin!


Who??

Kieron!!!







Ahhh it's you mclovin. What do you want?

 

[member 3289]

If you're on one of the upper floors, send him down to the truck to get the nail straightener.

Or do one of these:


View: https://youtu.be/YUJXesLSsDc



View: https://youtu.be/Gg8KfEGam8s

 

[Filthy]

cable stretcher.

this wire is too short, go get the cable stretcher.

 

[Filthy]

you can also do the "you can't hold a concrete bag over your head for 30 seconds"

and then slash the bag when he does.

(volume warning) these guys do a $100 bet on a 100# bag, but also works with 60 or 40


View: https://youtu.be/FJ7D-zdtdXA

 

[Filthy]

Hot Foot is also a classic...used to do it in Little League games.

best variation is when you open a book of matches and just slide it in the back of their shoe.
then light the book.


View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8d4peg2NFN0

 

[Hauler]

Send him to the van to get the board stretcher.

 

[Hauler]

Tell him to put his hands on his head and close his eyes, then kick him in the nuts as hard as you can.

Fun times.

 

[The Big Guy]

Hide something he used last

Then tell him you need that item right now

 

[Filthy]

in Comm, we used to tell new guys to "empty the bit bucket" and send them around back.

we had Glycol coolers, and one of them leaked, guys came out in HazMat gear and a new guy came walking up with "what's going on?"

"see that green shit dripping out of the HeX? Liquid RF. shit is deadly, but you gotta use it."
<eyes get big, nods knowingly>

"make sure everyone knows there's a Liquid RF spill out front. Just go to the commanders office and tell <NCOIC>"
<nods aggressively> sure thing <hustles off>

 

[Filthy]

what kind of work we talking here?

put some shoe polish on the inside band of his bump cap.

@Shang Tsong2 - that's solid gold, from me to you.

 

[Filthy]

Tell him to put his hands on his head and close his eyes, then kick him in the nuts as hard as you can.

Fun times.

i still fall for that one.

 

[Filthy]

i also have some good office ones, but I don't think they'd help OP

 

[La Paix]

Let him know that he shouldn’t hesitate to ask you questions whenever he’s struggling.

Give him nothing but positive feedback to build up his confidence.

Or do the shit others have posted above so your industry can continue to get retards working in their field.

 

[The Big Guy]

Tell him it's a union job and take 20% of his lunch

 

[Hauler]

After 4 days of fucking with the new kid, he told the Lead Super to "fuck off" when he was asked to go to the van and get the Liquid Wrench.

Thought he was being fucked with again.

 

[Filthy]

Let him know that he shouldn’t hesitate to ask you questions whenever he’s struggling.

Give him nothing but positive feedback to build up his confidence.

Or do the shit others have posted above so your industry can continue to get retards working in their field.

if you think mean pranks are the only reason people like @Shang Tsong2 are relegated to their industry...

i mean, i want to help you

Spoiler: ...But...

 

[The Big Guy]

I used to order parts for a boat repair company. Sometimes there would be old inboards ypipes or something just hard to find. We had an old boat in and this one mechanic I called dildo dave(boston accent) was working on it. He kept telling me to get him a cannuter valve for the boat and I couldnt find this shit anywhere. I was looking at engine EPCs and old catalogs and calling people in fucking washington state asking for cannuter valves

Finally I gave up and told him I cant find it. The cocksucker laughed at me for a week and we became bar buddies. He cooked the best prime rib I've ever had and one day he moved back to boston and ive never seen him again. He kinda looked like an out of shape stone cold steve austin

 

[Hauler]

When I was framing houses the cutman cut a board too short and I told the new guy to go get the board stretcher. He disappeared for quite some time and I honestly forgot about him.

I was bracing up the trusses when I hear a bunch of clanking and grunting, and I look down to see the new kid manhandling a 16' ladder plank through the 1st floor hallways and wall cavities.

He looks up and yelled "Where do you need the board stretcher at?"

I fucking lost it.

Apparently he asked a plumber what a board stretcher was and the plumber felt like having some fun with him.

 

[Filthy]

He kinda looked like an out of shape stone cold steve austin

you just described 35% of the men in Boston.

 

[SongExotic2]

When I was framing houses the cutman cut a board too short and I told the new guy to go get the board stretcher. He disappeared for quite some time and I honestly forgot about him.

I was bracing up the trusses when I hear a bunch of clanking and grunting, and I look down to see the new kid manhandling a 16' ladder plank through the 1st floor hallways and wall cavities.

He looks up and yelled "Where do you need the board stretcher at?"

I fucking lost it.

Apparently he asked a plumber what a board stretcher was and the plumber felt like having some fun with him.

We had one on squadron, not an apprentice but a red arse fresh out of tech school youngin. We gave him a hammer and a folded note. Sent him to the junior engineering officers office. The note said some like I was an extra week off at Xmas or I'm gonna bash your fucking head in with this hammer....

The jengo read the note and sent him to the warrant officers office and said it's for him.


Warrant officers are grumpy old cunts. He diddnt tell us off tho just said we are a bunch of cunts

 

[MMAHAWK]

Nice kid. Mclovin his name is. Because he looks like the kid from superbad called mclovin.

But his hair is longer like this chick from bargain hunt.


View attachment 46351

That's what it looks like when he takes his bump cap off. We already do a trick where everytime he phones one of us we say


hello, who's that?

.....mclovin...

Who??

Mclovin!


Who??

Kieron!!!







Ahhh it's you mclovin. What do you want?

If you really want to push him to the limit


Call him Vutu and text him a meme

 

[Filthy]

Warrant officers are grumpy old cunts. He diddnt tell us off tho just said we are a bunch of cunts

i had a "straight-arrow no smiles" NCOIC. Left a note on his desk "Visa called about Credit Card 1800 328 4475"
when he dialed he heard "Hi, you've reached 1 800 FAT GIRLS, the #1 line for..." in the this deep husky, voice.

he did not smile, but he turned bright red.

 

[SongExotic2]

He's been off this week, back on Monday and he's fucked up a ton of stuff I've noticed and had to sort out. He plays Airsoft in the woods for his hobby tho and I'm weary of upsetting him too much in case he has real guns.

Maybe I can have him track down the torque wrench I lost and some cunt has subsequently stolen. Brand fucken new, and no I diddnt steal it it's definitely not where I left it tho.

 

[Sex Chicken]

I worked as a roofer for a summer and all of the other dudes used to make me blow them.

 

[FINGERS]

I worked as a roofer for a summer and all of the other dudes used to make me blow them.

In a gay way?