General Why are farts funny?

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Wild

Wild

Zi Nazi
Admin
Dec 31, 2014
85,161
123,536
Judobill said:
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I was 17-18 yrs old. Me and three buddies had been up at the ballpark hitting baseball. Afterward, we stopped at a local pizza joint. I kill a large by myself. As we're leaving, I see this smokin hot chic sitting with her boyfriend at a booth beside the exit door. I tell my buddies "I'm gonna crop dust this couple as we leave". My stomach was grumbling and I had been holding in a big fart anyway. As we walk past, I go to push out this fart and blast them with it....and shit down both legs. Explosive diarrhea. I just kept walking and go outside. My buddies come out, we're in tears. I tell them to meet me around back. I walk back behind the restaurant, take my shorts, boxers, and socks off and toss them in the dumpster. Climb into my buddies car wearing nothing but a t-shirt and running shoes, and ride back to his house like that.
 
NotBanjaxo

NotBanjaxo

Formerly someone other than Banjaxo
Nov 16, 2019
8,316
17,736
Wild said:
I was 17-18 yrs old. Me and three buddies had been up at the ballpark hitting baseball. Afterward, we stopped at a local pizza joint. I kill a large by myself. As we're leaving, I see this smokin hot chic sitting with her boyfriend at a booth beside the exit door. I tell my buddies "I'm gonna crop dust this couple as we leave". My stomach was grumbling and I had been holding in a big fart anyway. As we walk past, I go to push out this fart and blast them with it....and shit down both legs. Explosive diarrhea. I just kept walking and go outside. My buddies come out, we're in tears. I tell them to meet me around back. I walk back behind the restaurant, take my shorts, boxers, and socks off and toss them in the dumpster. Climb into my buddies car wearing nothing but a t-shirt and running shoes, and ride back to his house like that.
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I'm not sure that the story counts as "winning" in any way, but I gave it the winner reaction anyway.

Outstanding shart.
 
Jdog93

Jdog93

.....?
Jun 2, 2016
15,419
32,863
Wild said:
I was 17-18 yrs old. Me and three buddies had been up at the ballpark hitting baseball. Afterward, we stopped at a local pizza joint. I kill a large by myself. As we're leaving, I see this smokin hot chic sitting with her boyfriend at a booth beside the exit door. I tell my buddies "I'm gonna crop dust this couple as we leave". My stomach was grumbling and I had been holding in a big fart anyway. As we walk past, I go to push out this fart and blast them with it....and shit down both legs. Explosive diarrhea. I just kept walking and go outside. My buddies come out, we're in tears. I tell them to meet me around back. I walk back behind the restaurant, take my shorts, boxers, and socks off and toss them in the dumpster. Climb into my buddies car wearing nothing but a t-shirt and running shoes, and ride back to his house like that.
Click to expand...
 
Jesus X

Jesus X

4 drink minimum.
Sep 7, 2015
28,792
31,319
A fart carries an inherent nobility. Once I farted so loud it cleared out a class room it had bass and treble. It struck fear into the hearts of my middle school enemies.
 
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Tiiimmmaaayyy

Tiiimmmaaayyy

First 100 ish
Jan 19, 2015
7,990
9,940
Wild said:
I was 17-18 yrs old. Me and three buddies had been up at the ballpark hitting baseball. Afterward, we stopped at a local pizza joint. I kill a large by myself. As we're leaving, I see this smokin hot chic sitting with her boyfriend at a booth beside the exit door. I tell my buddies "I'm gonna crop dust this couple as we leave". My stomach was grumbling and I had been holding in a big fart anyway. As we walk past, I go to push out this fart and blast them with it....and shit down both legs. Explosive diarrhea. I just kept walking and go outside. My buddies come out, we're in tears. I tell them to meet me around back. I walk back behind the restaurant, take my shorts, boxers, and socks off and toss them in the dumpster. Climb into my buddies car wearing nothing but a t-shirt and running shoes, and ride back to his house like that.
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Oh how i enjoy a good pants shitting story. This one is pretty good. My hope is that someday I’ll have my own story to tell.
 
IschKabibble

IschKabibble

TMMAC Addict
First 100
Jan 15, 2015
15,939
21,687
Tiiimmmaaayyy said:
Oh how i enjoy a good pants shitting story. This one is pretty good. My hope is that someday I’ll have my own story to tell.
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The closest I ever came to full on shitting my pants was after eating an entire Chicago deep dish from Uno. My stomach was making the growling noises from Dumb and Dumber the whole ride home. Took every bit of energy I had to not ruin my friend's car.

If you're interested in shitting your pants, eating a large, greasy pizza to yourself seems to be a common thread.

 
Tiiimmmaaayyy

Tiiimmmaaayyy

First 100 ish
Jan 19, 2015
7,990
9,940
IschKabibble said:
The closest I ever came to full on shitting my pants was after eating an entire Chicago deep dish from Uno. My stomach was making the growling noises from Dumb and Dumber the whole ride home. Took every bit of energy I had to not ruin my friend's car.

If you're interested in shitting your pants, eating a large, greasy pizza to yourself seems to be a common thread.

Click to expand...
I’ve had many close calls, but so far have never had to leave my unders hanging in a Hardee’s bathroom. I eat my share of pizza and Taco Bell. My day is coming.
 
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