Personal Woman who leaves her husband to be with another man

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Has anyone got any experience with that?

This isn't a request for anyone to tell me what to do but I'm curious how others might assess or view the situation.

I'm separated cause my wife and I were in complete disharmony on many things, one of them being how attracted I should be to her.
She wants to try again and she's got a heart of gold, is really pretty and petite but I just don't feel a any physical attraction towards her. Demanding a divorce would be like....the very idea of it feels wrong in the same way like abandoning a pet in the forest would feel.
I feel like something's not right when I'm with her, and the way she communicates wears on me (like her mother, she flies off the handle quick and is just generally loud and harpy-like). But I absolutely hate seeing her cry, when she's sad, I go running. If she's blue, I feel like it's my purpose in life to cheer her up. I feel happy when she's happy but no chemistry with her.

I've been seeing a woman and we've been close for a while. She wants out of her very comfortable married life and in with me. I work weird hours and live in a dodgy neighborhood...in a foreign country, I speak the language at a working knowledge level. I make good money for the area but she makes almost nothing so she is not independent. Divorce laws in this country wouldn't reward her and I'm not sure if she understands the financial implications of what she's angling for. I feel important when I'm with her, I like the way she thinks. I like her sense of humour. She seems to know how to control me with little effort. But she does have a child with the man she's married to.
 

SongExotic2

ATM 3 CHAMPION OF THE WORLD. #FREECAIN
First 100
Jan 16, 2015
39,772
53,672
Polak UFC.

Winner takes blank. Two ho enter, one ho leave.


You could replace the 3 judges yourself and just dress like Ric flair. If you need backup I'll fly out (you gotta pay) and dress like Ric flair too.

Probably need someone else as Ric flair too tho.

 

La Paix

Fuck this place
First 100
Jan 14, 2015
38,273
64,597
Based off the info above I'd say start looking for an option C or D.

Your ex sounds more like a roommate than spouse. As for the other one I'd hate to be the guy who busts up another marriage especially if there's kids involved.
 

Filthy

Iowa Wrestling Champion
Jun 28, 2016
27,507
29,834
don't jump from a serious relationship (marriage) right in to another one. It's not fair to your new partner, or to yourself. You need time and emotional distance to become who you will be without your spouse. If you go with the new chic, she's going to fall for the 'married to that other chic' version of you, and that person will slowly die and morph in to someone else over the next few months/years.

Being in a new relationship while that is happening is going to slow your growth and set your new relationship up for failure.
 

Coast

Land of the Prince Bishops
Oct 18, 2017
642
1,151
Leave the married woman with kids alone.

That will get messy quick and stay messy for a long time. You'll be leaving your wife to take another mans wife. Are you happy to potentially raise another mans kid, with that man still in that kids life (and yours)? Will he get violent? How is her family going to react?

At best your looking at a future of raising a child that is not yours with a resentful father constantly in the background. You'll also have that doubt in the back of your mind that if she can leave the father of her child, then she'll sure as hell do it to you as well. Likewise, she will be having similar thoughts.
 

sparkuri

Pulse On The Finger Of The Community
First 100
Jan 16, 2015
34,427
46,565
I've been "the other guy" for some time now, and have felt it'll get me killed someday.
As La Paix @BirdWatcher said, option C or D might be in order.
B feels good NOW, maybe it's the crutch getting you through this.
But off just this info, option B sounds like every proverb I've heard concerning the sweet lips of a mistress.
 

Too swole to control

I’ll fight anyone on here except Sex Chicken
Oct 28, 2015
5,879
9,590
So the girl you're trying to end up with is broke, has a kid, and knows how to easily control you.
Get the fuck away from her. That is not gona end well at all.
 

Papi Chingon

Domesticated Hombre
Oct 19, 2015
25,478
32,248
As others have said, you need new options. "A" didn't work out and it doesn't sound like there is anything there except feiendship. "B" is a cheater, there for will always be a cheater. Go ahead and send them a link to this thread with the title of the email being "the results are in."
 

HEATH VON DOOM

Remember the 5th of November
Oct 21, 2015
17,281
24,721
So the girl you're trying to end up with is broke, has a kid, and knows how to easily control you.
Get the fuck away from her. That is not gona end well at all.
I hate to agree with this fucktard but he is exactly right. Never move down in life just to be with a broad.
 

Banchan

The Most Dangerous Dame
Oct 2, 2017
4,515
2,905
She probably feels about her husband the same way you do about your wife.

Theres nothing worse than being with someone you dislike so much it makes you angry inside to have to be around them but they wont accept ending it.
 

Banchan

The Most Dangerous Dame
Oct 2, 2017
4,515
2,905
So the girl you're trying to end up with is broke, has a kid, and knows how to easily control you.
Get the fuck away from her. That is not gona end well at all.
All relationships you end up relinquishing some degree of control. Exactly the reason you cant sit around in your underwear playing video games , your wife wont let you.

Also I think he means she controls his extreme reactions well meaning she knows when not to push buttons or calm him down when he's angry type thing and not being a controlling mama that tells him what to do.
 

HEATH VON DOOM

Remember the 5th of November
Oct 21, 2015
17,281
24,721
All relationships you end up relinquishing some degree of control. Exactly the reason you cant sit around in your underwear playing video games , your wife wont let you.

Also I think he means she controls his extreme reactions well meaning she knows when not to push buttons or calm him down when he's angry type thing and not being a controlling mama that tells him what to do.
You know nothing about relationships.
 

Too swole to control

I’ll fight anyone on here except Sex Chicken
Oct 28, 2015
5,879
9,590
All relationships you end up relinquishing some degree of control. Exactly the reason you cant sit around in your underwear playing video games , your wife wont let you.

Also I think he means she controls his extreme reactions well meaning she knows when not to push buttons or calm him down when he's angry type thing and not being a controlling mama that tells him what to do.
There is a difference between the normal changes to your life that happen in a relationship And "she knows how to control me with little effort".
Aren't you a female? That would explain your mental gymnastics
 
1

1031

Guest
Also I think he means she controls his extreme reactions well meaning she knows when not to push buttons or calm him down when he's angry type thing and not being a controlling mama that tells him what to do.
That is exactly what I meant. I should be more clear.
I've been separated for many years.
Are you happy to potentially raise another mans kid, with that man still in that kids life (and yours)? Will he get violent? How is her family going to react?
Not sure.
I wish him luck with that.
Her mother knows.

My big concern is how she and her husband are distant. He's loaded and they have many vacations and outings. I can't plan dinner, let alone a series of vacations, nor can I afford it.
She speaks better English than I do her language and communication is kind of important.
 

otaku1

TMMAC Addict
Jul 16, 2015
4,649
5,893
As others have said, you need new options. "A" didn't work out and it doesn't sound like there is anything there except feiendship. "B" is a cheater, there for will always be a cheater. Go ahead and send them a link to this thread with the title of the email being "the results are in."
Never change papi.
Lol
 

Leigh

Engineer
Pro Fighter
Jan 26, 2015
10,925
21,293
Yes I have experience. It's not one I wish to repeat.

There are so many women in the world, why get with a cheater with a kid?

Also, your estranged wife's happiness is not your responsibility. I know it can feel irresponsible to say "fuck it" but you're not her dad.
 

Yossarian

TMMAC Addict
Oct 25, 2015
13,489
19,127
Been there before as well.

The relationship you have now with the other woman is not going to be the same when reality kicks in. When an actual plan gets in motion to be together. Right now you've got each other without the ties. You both have an escape. But it seems you've already taken a practical look in how the future would pan out.

And n, cheaters do not always cheat. Rubbish. People who say that never cheated before so therefore they do not what they talk of. And they are most likely a betamale.