Well, my daddy left home when I was three,
And he didn't leave much to ma and me,
Just this old guitar and an empty bottle of booze.
Now, I knew we probably never would see him again,
But when I finally got used to him not being 'round,
He just showed up one day and he said, "Deuce,
I'm gonna name you 'Deuce' and I guess that's not too cool,
But I'm gonna give you the woopin' of a lifetime
When I get home, so you better not act a fool!"
Well, that name sure 'nough worked out just like a charm!
You'd fight 'em with your head held high,
You'd fight 'em with your fist on the ground,
Fightin' mad, but the crowd would always cheer you on.
'Cause everybody hated that awful name,
And every time I'd have to go into town,
I'd hear people call out, "Here comes Deuce, the devil's son!"
And the next thing you know I'd have 'em in a fight,
But I made me a vow to the moon and the stars,
I'd search the whole world and I'd climb and I'd sink,
But I'd find the dirty coward that named me "Deuce"
And then I'd take my revenge!
Well, it got somewhere around nation-wide,
The name got around on both sides of the line,
And folks just a-lookin' to put me down,
But the big jest got 'em every time I'd march into town.
And I made me a vow to the moon and the stars,
I'd search the whole world from Timbuktu,
But I finally found him an' I found him in the bar,
A-drinkin' and a-beatin' some old dog.
And I said, "Dad, this might be the last time you'll ever hear this,
But I'm gonna call you 'Dad' just this once,
Then I'm gonna get that anger out of my system
And I ain't ever gonna call you that again!"
But then he started in to weep and a-cussing and a-fussin',
And he talked about the shame I'd brought upon the family name,
But I had to get the gun and I had to put him down,
'Cause Daddy always told me, "Deuce, you gotta be a man!"
And I guess I am, 'cause I sure felt like one,
With my fist in his face, my foot in his behind,
'Cause if I ever have a son, I think I'm gonna name him
Bill or George, any damn thing but Deuce, 'cause that name's hard to live with, son.
