General Your child is Dating a loser

Discussion in 'The Off-topic Lounge' started by Banchan, Feb 7, 2019.

?

Do you let your child know?

  1. Yes

    15 vote(s)
    100.0%
  2. No

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  1. Wild..

    Wild.. Real American
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    You need to stop being jealous of your cousins boyfriend
     
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  2. Banchan

    Banchan The Most Dangerous Dame

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    We're not related
    Hes not attractive but just more attractive than she
     
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  3. Lamont Cranston

    Lamont Cranston Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?
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    If my kid came home and told me they were dating a guy/girl and I thought they were a loser I would tell them.

    I also don't have kids so I would ask them who the heck they were and why are they in my house?
     
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  4. maurice

    maurice Well-Known Member

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    My mom used to say that and I ended up marrying a doctor's daughter.

    Didn't work out as you'd anticipate. The cheap POS kept all the money for himself. Didn't even pay for her college and, when we got married, he gave us $50.

    Fortunately, the fucker died. Unfortunately, my never-had-a-job mother-in-law is also a miserly POS.
     
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  5. Filthy

    Filthy in an upward motion with purposeful direction

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    i actually heard that from a boss of mine, but I amend it to "fall in love with someone good with money."

    my great-uncle had a notoriously cheap wife, and he always used to say "I'm blessed with a frugal wife."
    I used to think he was just watering-down the cheapness of his wife to be nice, but now that I'm married to a woman that doesn't piss away money, I see that a frugal wife is truly a blessing.
     
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  6. ConorMcGregorsBeard

    ConorMcGregorsBeard The Face That Runs the Place

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    Yes, if they ask.

    I've come across a few people like this, and somehow they manage to get by okay.

    Might be on the spectrum, or just a regular dude who has a sneaking suspicion people are talking shit about him on the internet.

    It's okay for women to be the breadwinner if they find it works okay for them.

    That's not uncommon. To be honest, it's kind of weird to me that society expects people to throw themselves to the financial wolves when they aren't prepared.

    That probably informs most of your opinion on this person. As the old saying goes "One man's trash is another man's treasure." She's either an adult capable of making her own decisions, and is making what she feels is the correct one for her. Or she's incapable of making good decisions for herself. If it's the second one, her parents have probably done a pretty piss poor job of equipping her for life and might want to consider keeping their opinions to themselves.
     
  7. Banchan

    Banchan The Most Dangerous Dame

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    Don't want to get specific but about talking shit - he talks shit about her. Cheated several times as well. About living home and not having anything, he's 35 and still lives with his mom and dad between crashing at hers and he doesn't pitch in or have any savings, also doesn't pitch in at hers either. Like never ever paid rent not once to her or his parents. As far as why she keeps getting back - she dumped him a few times so she must be semi-aware that he's a loser but she has some physical traits that wouldn't really put her in a category of women who would get 7+ guy and after being with said loser who is 7 Imo she refuses to date down.
     
  8. ConorMcGregorsBeard

    ConorMcGregorsBeard The Face That Runs the Place

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    It sounds like she's made the decision that the looks are worth the baggage. Let her be accountable for her choices. It's not like she's going to listen to anyone else anyways.
     
  9. Never_Rolled

    Never_Rolled Active Member

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    My GF and her sister (also their deceased father) are MD’s. Sister is married to a stay at home dad. When asked if he was going to find work after their youngest was finished being home schooled sister said “he isn’t built for that”. Sister is a strong willed controlling on top of things person. She seems to be OK with wearing the pants and letting her slacker husband live off of her.
     
  10. Filthy

    Filthy in an upward motion with purposeful direction

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    Step 1 is to stop referring to them as your child. They're not a child, and they're not yours. You have to decide at what level you're going to engage with her life, on her terms, and communicate that to her - as an adult to adult relationship. You haven't had a parent-child relationship for 5-10 years.
     
  11. Banchan

    Banchan The Most Dangerous Dame

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    So we're clear im asking what you would do if this was your situation as a parent because hers have said nothing to her but i know they are very upset about it.
     
  12. Banchan

    Banchan The Most Dangerous Dame

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    50 is like the amount you give if you barely know the couple.
     
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  13. Chief

    Chief Beer
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    Lol
     
  14. Wild.

    Wild. Proud American
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    Wow, according to Banchan standards I’m not a loser. That’s surprising.
     
  15. Banchan

    Banchan The Most Dangerous Dame

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    I'm very fair and give everybody a chance. This guy is legitamitly shifty and thinks he's smarter than everybody just because this girl is so infatuated with him and she is not seeing what a true textbook loser he is.
     
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  16. Tuc Ouiner

    Tuc Ouiner Active Member

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    let him know with a crossbow
     
  17. Wild.

    Wild. Proud American
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    Donning Kruger effect.
     
  18. Wild.

    Wild. Proud American
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    Donning Kruger effect.
     
  19. ConorMcGregorsBeard

    ConorMcGregorsBeard The Face That Runs the Place

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    The scoreboard says he's right.
     
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  20. ShatsBassoon

    ShatsBassoon I'd rather guide my dad into my mom
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    Does OP even have any kids? Serious question.

    Also, beware people giving advice unsolicited.
     
  21. Wild.

    Wild. Proud American
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    Giving people relationship advice is a great way to fuck up your relationship with that person.
     
  22. Never_Rolled

    Never_Rolled Active Member

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    Did you ever think she knows the guy is a loser but maybe she just enjoys fucking him?
     
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  23. maurice

    maurice Well-Known Member

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    I've generally avoided this type of conversation under the notion that it always backfires and pushes them closer to the loser, but I did make an exception once, about 15 years ago, when my sister in law asked me about her boyfriend's potential future earnings. I honestly answered that the dude had no work ethic, always had everything handed to him by his stereotypical Italian mom, dropped out of college 3 times, and will always make much less money than she makes as a woman in STEM.

    She got mad, married the dude, and stopped speaking to me. In hindsight, my prediction was 100% accurate. He's like a bank teller or something.
     
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  24. yuki4

    yuki4 Alumni

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    I was going to say they like me, but I haven't seen them in a while, so I can't be sure?
     
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  25. BrunoMcGyver

    BrunoMcGyver “My balls was hot.”

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    Hahaha I`m Number 1 and 2 and was number 4 for a little while...I`m amazingly good at finances though, so besides sometimes getting a free roof at my parents I`ve never had to mooch from anyone - in fact, I supported my gf for a few months until she was able to get a job.

    End of the day, I`d like to ask if my child is happy with their partner and they`re a good person than I wouldnt mind. I`d prefer someone who wont mooch but at the end of the day there`s only so much control you have over other adults.
     
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