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General Holy fucking LOL
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Not the type of crowd I'd hang out with, but funny as shit to watch.
It kind of reminds me of this guy I met at a party when I was in my 20's. I am a guest of my girlfriend at the time, and know no one at this house party. I am just kind of out of place since everyone knows everyone else and are talking about past times. Another girl shows up with a date and he is like me, odd one out. So we start talking and the guy was pretty funny. He says, fuck this, let's go to the kitchen and get drunk. I'm like, he'll yeah, so we head to the kitchen where the liquor is. Immediately upon entering the kitchen he zeros in on this camera that is on the center island. He makes some comment about them developing film and having some random pics in the mix. I pay it no attention. We hit the liquor. After getting a few shots down our throat he goes, "grab the camera!" Without hesitation I just do what he asks. He grabs an apple from the fruit bowl, pulls down his pants, and sticks the apple between his butt cheeks. I'm laughing, but trying to control myself to not draw attention to the kitchen. He's like, "hurry up! Take the fucking picture! Make sure it's just my ass though so they don't know who did it." I quickly take the shot and abandon the mission, head back to the living room, and attempt to act normal. The guy brings a few beers back from the kitchen, cool as a cucumber, and sits next to his date. A few minutes later he motions me back to the kitchen. I am trying to hold in the laughter as I follow him. He picks up the camera and takes a pic of what I assume is the same dirty apple on top of the fruitbowl. Then he has me helping him figure out what other items to take pics of. We ended up taking a pic of a few food items in the refrigerator, after unwrapping them, like a block of cheese, then we went to the bathroom and took a pic of a toothbrush on the counter. The idea was to make it seem like all these items were in his ass at some point, even though it was only the apple. The guy was so fucking funny. So to bring this full circle, hilarious guy, but no one I would ever want to hang out with or be around.
It kind of reminds me of this guy I met at a party when I was in my 20's. I am a guest of my girlfriend at the time, and know no one at this house party. I am just kind of out of place since everyone knows everyone else and are talking about past times. Another girl shows up with a date and he is like me, odd one out. So we start talking and the guy was pretty funny. He says, fuck this, let's go to the kitchen and get drunk. I'm like, he'll yeah, so we head to the kitchen where the liquor is. Immediately upon entering the kitchen he zeros in on this camera that is on the center island. He makes some comment about them developing film and having some random pics in the mix. I pay it no attention. We hit the liquor. After getting a few shots down our throat he goes, "grab the camera!" Without hesitation I just do what he asks. He grabs an apple from the fruit bowl, pulls down his pants, and sticks the apple between his butt cheeks. I'm laughing, but trying to control myself to not draw attention to the kitchen. He's like, "hurry up! Take the fucking picture! Make sure it's just my ass though so they don't know who did it." I quickly take the shot and abandon the mission, head back to the living room, and attempt to act normal. The guy brings a few beers back from the kitchen, cool as a cucumber, and sits next to his date. A few minutes later he motions me back to the kitchen. I am trying to hold in the laughter as I follow him. He picks up the camera and takes a pic of what I assume is the same dirty apple on top of the fruitbowl. Then he has me helping him figure out what other items to take pics of. We ended up taking a pic of a few food items in the refrigerator, after unwrapping them, like a block of cheese, then we went to the bathroom and took a pic of a toothbrush on the counter. The idea was to make it seem like all these items were in his ass at some point, even though it was only the apple. The guy was so fucking funny. So to bring this full circle, hilarious guy, but no one I would ever want to hang out with or be around.
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When I first moved to Australia I was only permitted to work 20 hours a week by law while my missus studied...I used to play battlefield 2 online...Joined a community and used headsets to have a laugh and talk shit while Playing...We all met up in Sydney...22 of us....Well one person fell asleep...I teabagged him while 20 others laughed....Breakfast was funny the next morning....He was the only one that didn't know what happened....My mate made a gif of it and a comic....I swear I'll try to hunt it down...The victim found out about it 2 months later online....He had to laugh...Good times.
Oh hell no..
There was a guy who used to be a friend of mine, and when he was in the Navy he had lots of stories like that. They did something they called "dirty dicking" where they took a personal item and rubbed their dick all over it, then put it back in place. It was apparently their thing to do this to one another, but whatever. So they are set up to do a dive in a dive tank, and they HAVE TO stay under water for 20 minutes. One of the guys gets to the edge of the tank, puts his mouthpiece or regulator or whatever it's called in, then makes his plunge, in midair one of the guys yells, "how does my dick taste?" Lol. Turns out it was retribution from a "dirty dicking" earlier in the day, and there was nothing the guy could do about it since the drill instructor was there and it was a mandatory 20 minutes under.
D
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right now
I dated a chick that had a roommate that my friends and I couldn't stand. My friend played ball for WV. He was 6'6" 300 lbs. Hillbilly all the way. She never would clean her cats litter box. One day we were drinking and he takes a massive shit. Takes a piece of cardboard and lifts it out of the toilet and places it in the litter box. It was all I could do to contain myself when she got home. She told my GF that her cat must be sick. He also dropped his shorts while standing by the hood of her car and explosive shit without bending over all over her hood. He also would pee at bars while standing at the bar. He was banned a lot. I have a million Spike stories.
I was also shot at through the same girls bedroom door because of that guy. We (the 3 of us) picked up a married bar slut and he fucked her in the roommates room. My friend took her keys, why I don't know and came into our room while we were sleeping locked the door and slept on the floor at the foot of our bed. She wanted to leave, started banging on the door. I told her I didn't have her keys and my friend wasn't here. I didn't know he was on the floor. She said she had a gun and was going to shoot if I didn't open the door. I told her to fuck off. About 5 seconds later booooom. Right through the door, through a chair and into the wall. GF never woke up. Friend pops up and says he has her keys. I made her empty the gun and toss the bullets under the door which she did. I opened the door naked and threw the keys as hard as I could at her.
My ex GF ended up being arrested several times years after we broke up. She did a stint with sheriff Joe. My monster friend is a school superintendent in the southwest.
I was also shot at through the same girls bedroom door because of that guy. We (the 3 of us) picked up a married bar slut and he fucked her in the roommates room. My friend took her keys, why I don't know and came into our room while we were sleeping locked the door and slept on the floor at the foot of our bed. She wanted to leave, started banging on the door. I told her I didn't have her keys and my friend wasn't here. I didn't know he was on the floor. She said she had a gun and was going to shoot if I didn't open the door. I told her to fuck off. About 5 seconds later booooom. Right through the door, through a chair and into the wall. GF never woke up. Friend pops up and says he has her keys. I made her empty the gun and toss the bullets under the door which she did. I opened the door naked and threw the keys as hard as I could at her.
My ex GF ended up being arrested several times years after we broke up. She did a stint with sheriff Joe. My monster friend is a school superintendent in the southwest.