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Rambo John J

Baker Team
First 100
Jan 17, 2015
75,697
74,739
Marriage is just a piece of paper (an important one to my wife's religious parents, I had to join a church for her. To this day I'm the only person I know who 'accidentally' body checked, laid a dude out in a church hallway with 50 witnesses and got away with it. But that's another story)
u have a lot of good other stories

only good reason for marriage as far as I can tell is that you can't testify against your spouse...although that might be a reason to not be married also
 

Lamont Cranston

Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?
First 100
Jan 15, 2015
4,621
4,773
I'm just curious but do you married guys enjoy or benefit ftom valentine's day at all or is it kind of another thing to (begrudge)do to obtain female affection like it is for single men?
My Wife and I enjoy Valentine's Day a lot.

It's a great excuse to go do something fun and take a mini-vacation and relax.

We do not however use the day as an excuse to show affection. We do that all the time. If you have to have a day set aside to remind you, then I think that might be a problem for you.
 

Onetrickpony

Stay gold
Nov 21, 2016
14,041
32,288
u have a lot of good other stories

only good reason for marriage as far as I can tell is that you can't testify against your spouse...although that might be a reason to not be married also


I'll likely get around to writing up the lesbian and church joining stories (there's another story about getting chased by several milk truck drivers that involves some high speed chases that I should tell here too) when I'm done school. They are long and I'm not doing them on my phone.
 

Onetrickpony

Stay gold
Nov 21, 2016
14,041
32,288
u have a lot of good other stories

only good reason for marriage as far as I can tell is that you can't testify against your spouse...although that might be a reason to not be married also
I just remembered I had posted about the milk truck story on reddit years ago. Copy and paste.

This reminds me of a milk truck story. When I was 16 I moved out of my parents place and in with 4 of guys I knew. All of us were the same age except for 1 who was 18 and able to sign the lease. We had no money and never had food. One night we were coming home at 5am and saw the milk trucks delivering to peoples homes and we hatched a plan.

We started following the trucks around the city and stealing milk, cheese and juice from peoples houses. Over the next few weeks we learned the routes and what days the trucks would come to each area. After doing this for about a month we had become very efficient at getting our stolen bovine products from peoples doorsteps.

One night we were doing a 'milk run' and a milk truck showed up at the end of the street in the middle of the caper. I ran back to my buddies bronco and jumped in to make a quick getaway. We were backing down the street post haste and lo and behold another milk truck showed up blocking our retreat. We avoided the milk truck road block by going up over a curb and more than few lawns to get out onto another street. We spun the truck around just in time to find another milk truck blocking our new revised withdrawal route. Up over a few more curbs and lawns found us racing down this street upwards of 70 kmh in an effort to outrun our incoming captors. We managed to shake the milk truck armada loose but it was sketchy for a bit since the milkmen had a force of 8 trucks involved in the attempted apprehension.

It was like something out of a movie, 4 teenagers in a bronco with no top yelling out truck sightings to the driver and trying desperately to evade the horde of angred milkmen.

Our dairy related crime stopped that night but I still think about the ridiculousness of the situation and wonder what the milkmen would have done to us if they had managed to halt our escape.
 

Rambo John J

Baker Team
First 100
Jan 17, 2015
75,697
74,739
I just remembered I had posted about the milk truck story on reddit years ago. Copy and paste.

This reminds me of a milk truck story. When I was 16 I moved out of my parents place and in with 4 of guys I knew. All of us were the same age except for 1 who was 18 and able to sign the lease. We had no money and never had food. One night we were coming home at 5am and saw the milk trucks delivering to peoples homes and we hatched a plan.

We started following the trucks around the city and stealing milk, cheese and juice from peoples houses. Over the next few weeks we learned the routes and what days the trucks would come to each area. After doing this for about a month we had become very efficient at getting our stolen bovine products from peoples doorsteps.

One night we were doing a 'milk run' and a milk truck showed up at the end of the street in the middle of the caper. I ran back to my buddies bronco and jumped in to make a quick getaway. We were backing down the street post haste and lo and behold another milk truck showed up blocking our retreat. We avoided the milk truck road block by going up over a curb and more than few lawns to get out onto another street. We spun the truck around just in time to find another milk truck blocking our new revised withdrawal route. Up over a few more curbs and lawns found us racing down this street upwards of 70 kmh in an effort to outrun our incoming captors. We managed to shake the milk truck armada loose but it was sketchy for a bit since the milkmen had a force of 8 trucks involved in the attempted apprehension.

It was like something out of a movie, 4 teenagers in a bronco with no top yelling out truck sightings to the driver and trying desperately to evade the horde of angred milkmen.

Our dairy related crime stopped that night but I still think about the ridiculousness of the situation and wonder what the milkmen would have done to us if they had managed to halt our escape.
lol wtf
Dairy Bandits
 

Onetrickpony

Stay gold
Nov 21, 2016
14,041
32,288
lol wtf
Dairy Bandits
Those milkmen were fucking pissed. We drove up and over multiple yards, hedges, a fence, a small jump over a berm in someones yard and had to do some off roading before we shook them loose.

I later learned that they had to pay out of pocket for all the shit we stole. Cheese, milk and yogurt aren't cheap. My home town wasn't a huge place and we knew every route night and we had stolen money from every one of those blue collar dudes. If I had been in their shoes and caught the fucks that were stealing from them I would've beat the living shit out of them. My leaving my parents and moving in with those dudes ultimately ended with with me getting put in jail for multiple theft charges. But, once again that's a story for another time.
 

Rambo John J

Baker Team
First 100
Jan 17, 2015
75,697
74,739
Those milkmen were fucking pissed. We drove up and over multiple yards, hedges, a fence, a small jump over a berm in someones yard and had to do some off roading before we shook them loose.

I later learned that they had to pay out of pocket for all the shit we stole. Cheese, milk and yogurt aren't cheap. My home town wasn't a huge place and we knew every route night and we had stolen money from every one of those blue collar dudes. If I had been in their shoes and caught the fucks that were stealing from them I would've beat the living shit out of them. My leaving my parents and moving in with those dudes ultimately ended with with me getting put in jail for multiple theft charges. But, once again that's a story for another time.
they were gonna make you boys a statistic...probably take you over to their Pork Buddies and give you a tour of the Pig Farm if you know what I'm saying
 

Onetrickpony

Stay gold
Nov 21, 2016
14,041
32,288
they were gonna make you boys a statistic...probably take you over to their Pork Buddies and give you a tour of the Pig Farm if you know what I'm saying
My uncle was a milkman for a spell. He’s a 6’5, 350 lb mound of farmer strength no one would want to deal with. If any of those drivers in their revenue fueled revenge attempt were anything like him we would’ve been fucked.

At 16 I was 6’2, 240 but I’m sure that I would have been sorely unprepared for the intensity of the violent retribution that those milkmen had intended for us.
 

Rambo John J

Baker Team
First 100
Jan 17, 2015
75,697
74,739
My uncle was a milkman for a spell. He’s a 6’5, 350 lb mound of farmer strength no one would want to deal with. If any of those drivers in their revenue field revenge attempt were anything like him we would’ve been fucked.

At 16 I was 6’2, 240 but I’m sure that I would have been sorely unprepared for the intensity of the violent retribution that those milkmen had intended for us.
Pigs like big fellas
nothing left but Teeth
 

karasu

Well-Known Member
Jan 11, 2019
600
628
"we have the FATTEST people......FATTER than all the rest........"------President Trump
 

karasu

Well-Known Member
Jan 11, 2019
600
628
"we just keep getting FATTER.....we are so FAT people are going to say President Trump I just can't take any more FAT but I'm going to say, no, we have to get FATTER"-------President Trump


"The president is 6'3" and weighs 243 pounds—up 4 pounds from last year.'------article
 

karasu

Well-Known Member
Jan 11, 2019
600
628
Trump's blood pressure this year was 118/80—an increase from last year's measurement, which was 116/70. He's also increased his daily dose of the medication rosuvastatin, which treats high cholesterol.--------article
 

Banchan

The Most Dangerous Dame
Oct 2, 2017
4,515
2,901
FRAT:

I once had a girl tell me that for valentine's day I was getting lucky. Back in my early 20's.

I asked her if on her birthday she would like my dick as her birthday present. She said no, that's not something you get for your birthday. So I told her that her box isn't a present for valentine's day.

I explained I give flowers to express how I care, and candy etc so that she knows I think about her. An evening with a nice dinner or a trip away on a weekend. My dick is not a gift to her that I dole out when she's been good or as a special event. So I don't expect that either. I said I expect her to put some thought into how she would like to mark a special day. I don't care if she makes a card out of paper and crayons, but opening your legs and thinking that it's some special gift for me is about as much thought as lifting your cheek to fart in my direction. The card actually took an effort to make.

Well she got mad because she said I don't treasure her special "gift" and that I wasn't getting any then. I told her that was fine. I'm not arrogant enough to think one of my body parts is a gift to the world of women. I'm going to go bang another girl then and she can save her effort of opening up her legs for someone who thinks less of them self.

So I banged on of her friends. She freaked out and was angry that I did that. I told her that if her opening her legs was what she thought a special gift was then she was mistaken because her friend did it just because I asked. (Note: Neither girl was my girlfriend at the time)

Then her friend and I went on a ski trip for a weekend.

I never would have thought to even think that way except that a few years prior I had been at my friend's house and his Mom was dangling sex as a treat to his Dad. After his Mom left the room his Dad turned to us and told us that we should never let a woman hold you hostage and pretend it's a gift.
Have you found out yet that your friend's dad was wrong and that you will be hostage to women being the gatekeepers of sex for the rest of your physically capable life?
 

karasu

Well-Known Member
Jan 11, 2019
600
628
Have you found out yet that your friend's dad was wrong and that you will be hostage to women being the gatekeepers of sex for the rest of your physically capable life?

not in my relationships experience! in fact, I could go and have sex right this minute if I wished but right now I just feel like shaking my hips to some 80s tunes while I read some messages here. It works my core and helps my dinner to digest and it's fun too!
 

Banchan

The Most Dangerous Dame
Oct 2, 2017
4,515
2,901
I would disagree.
So a married man who's wife uses sex as a bartering tool told you not to let women use sex for barter and you believed this was possible? Then why hasn't he been able to put his foot down on his old lady from doing it?